


Maybe I Fell in Love

by whywouldieverpushlouisoffthebed



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Smut, but just give it a chance, harry has an abusive father, im bad at tags, louis has the perfect family, poor!harry, rich!louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-03 23:10:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 55,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whywouldieverpushlouisoffthebed/pseuds/whywouldieverpushlouisoffthebed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry wasn’t unhappy with his life. There were lots of reasons he should be but for the most part he was content. It’s not until he meets Louis that he starts to see those reasons. Louis hated every detail of his life. There were so many things he should be grateful for that he took for granted. It’s not until he meets Harry that he starts to appreciate things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically this was inspired by a dream I had and Ed Sheeran's _Wake me up_. It's probably going to be around 25-30 chapters. We'll see.

That morning began no different than any other. The streaking rays of sunlight were sneaking their way inside through the battered blinds to warm his face. Harry couldn’t sleep when he was warm. That had always been somewhat of a curse in his opinion, well in the summer at least, because air conditioning was a luxury his family didn’t have. His body was sprawled across a worn out mattress that had been pulled from a dumpster just a week before. He was on his way home from the gas station when he spotted it. To any other person walking past it would’ve looked like a stained and neglected piece of bedroom furniture; to Harry it looked like a gem hidden deep within a cave. He hauled his treasure nearly a mile to deposit it on his bedroom floor where he lay now. Harry groaned as he rolled over and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position resting his bare feet on the floor. He looked down, studying the frayed fabric underneath him. Despite the fact that most people would have been leery to even touch it, Harry slept soundly for the first time in a long while because of someone else’s garbage. After you sleep on carpet that has existed longer than you’ve been alive almost anything feels soft.

Harry reached up and ran a hand through his tangled curls. He slowly let his hand drop and found himself twirling a loose piece of string from his quilt, slowly unraveling it from the rest. It was one of those quilts that could always be found hung over a chair or folded up on a bench at your grandparent’s house. There were alternating squares of white and green sewn together with thin string that formed intricate zigzag patterns. His hand slide away from the stray string he was picking at and gently collected the entire mass in his hands, bringing it up to his face. The scent that used to linger within the fabric was long gone and Harry knew that no amount of wishful thinking was going to bring it back, but habits were hard to break. Just thinking about that scent was enough to reignite emotions that he had been so desperately trying to push to the back of his mind.

Suddenly as if fate was on his side a series of clanks sounded from another room and jolted him back to reality. He clambered out of his bedroom and into the small bathroom he shared with his father. He stripped off his boxers that now clung to his skin with sweat and stepped into the shower. The water was lukewarm at first but as the minutes passed the temperature dropped lower and lower, much like it always did. Harry didn’t mind that particular morning. The icy water pounded down on his back and made his skin tingle. All the worry and insecurities that he had built up in anticipation of the first day back to school slowly washed away with every frigid drop of water that sprayed down on him. Realizing he would be late if he didn’t leave soon, he shut off the water and pulled the only towel from the rack. After quickly drying himself he threw on some grey sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. Damp curls hung lifelessly while he brushed his teeth. He knew he shouldn’t leave the water running, he would hear about it later when the bill was a measly few dollars more, but the steady rushing kept the anxiety from returning. He threw a grey beanie over his curls without bothering to tame them. Hats had been against the dress code at his school for as long as he could remember but not one teacher had ever said anything to him for wearing his beanie. Maybe they simply didn’t care. The small salary they received in exchange for not only teaching but controlling hundreds of hormonal teenagers could very easily be the reason for that. Or maybe they didn’t even notice him lodged quietly in the back of the classroom behind so many other students. He collected his backpack from his bedroom floor and slung it carelessly over his shoulder.

 _Might as well get it over with_ , he thought as he passed through the living room. He glimpsed his father asleep in his usual spot on the couch. His shirt was spotted with orange stains from last night’s spaghetti that Harry had cooked for him at two in the morning. He had stumbled into Harry’s room the previous night demanding dinner after being gone for three days. There had been no notes left as to his whereabouts but it wasn’t the first time he’s disappeared and it wouldn’t be the last. It had been pathetic to see him in that condition really. He had sat slumped over with his head hanging slightly down, the bowl of spaghetti untouched in his lap. So Harry sat next to him and spoon fed little bites into his mouth. After just a couple bites his face turned pale and he rushed to the bathroom. He must have returned and finished eating at some point because the bowl sat empty on the table. Harry considered checking the kitchen cabinet for something to eat for himself on his way out but decided it would be a waste of time. He was sure the money for food had been spent on the crushed cans scattered next to the couch. It looked like he would have to wait until lunch.

He walked to school, just like he did everyday. A low rumble sounded from deep within his stomach as he pushed through the crowded hallways. Nobody really paid much attention to him. It was in fact the first day of school and everyone wanted to tell stories about their incredible summer. He could hear tidbits of conversations as he made his way to his classroom, conversations that he didn’t really have any interest in, conversations he wasn’t included in. It wasn’t that people didn’t like him and more that they just didn’t know him. Sure they knew his name was Harry. Many of them had actually tried to talking to him, but Harry’s idea of a conversation was nodding and interjecting one word answers when necessary, while whoever he was talking to carried on and on. He was never quite sure of what to say and when he did think of something he found a million reasons why he shouldn’t say it in a matter of seconds. So he kept to himself for the most part. Every day he was the first person to take his seat in the back of the classroom while his classmates wasted the rest of their few remaining minutes of freedom complaining about how much they wished they could go home. As Harry rounded the corner into class his seemingly normal morning changed with one glance. That glance just happened to be from a boy Harry had never seen before and he was sitting at his desk.

Harry always sat at the desk in the left far back corner, in every class, every year. Since he was the first person to get to every class he had never had any problems. His desk was always waiting for him; it was a constant in a world of variables.

_It’s just a desk._

_There are thirty more exactly like it that I can choose from._

That is what Harry repeated over and over as he deliberately slowed his pace as his mind tried to decide what to do. He didn’t like confrontation but instead of taking the easy route and choosing one of those empty desks he found himself standing next to the boy at his.


	2. (Mon.) Where what should of happened, doesn’t

“That’s my…um…well.” Harry stuttered trying to force some sort of coherency out of his mouth. The boy he was directing his words towards was so immersed in looking at something on his phone that he hadn’t even noticed Harry come in. Upon hearing the slightly husky voice in the otherwise silent classroom the boy jerked his head up from his phone only to be met by a pair of the greenest eyes he had ever witnessed. The look only lasted a fraction of a second though before the green eyed boy jerked his head towards the ground and crossed his arms protectively across his chest.

“That’s my desk.” He finally managed to choke out the words he had been so desperate to find. The sentence came out muffled and Harry could feel the heat slowly creeping up his neck to form little blotches of red across his pale cheeks. One of his hands pulled free from where it had been busy leaving indentions in the soft skin on his bicep to make its way up to his beanie. He pulled at the soft fabric adjusting it to try to hide as much skin as he possibly could. He knew it would be no use but he couldn’t stop himself. He quickly glanced back up hoping the boy had redirected his attention to something other than his face but found himself staring straight into the boys glimmering blue eyes.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but it is the first day of school right?” the boy sitting in his desk asked.

Harry only nodded.

“Well then how is this your desk?”

The words were spoken so simply. It was as if the boy genuinely wanted to know how that could be Harry's desk. He couldn’t make sense of it and his brain was beginning to feel like it was covered in a thick fog. Words were fighting to come out but they bumped into each other and clashed about until even his own thoughts didn’t make any sense. He blinked once and somehow found himself sitting at another desk. He didn’t even remember moving much less sitting down but by some means his body had taken over when his mind refused and made him do the reasonable thing. The thing he should have done from the very beginning.

“I was only kidding around mate. I’m Louis by the way. It’s my first day.”

Realizing it was technically everyone’s first day he corrected himself.

“I just moved to town with my family a couple weeks ago. My dad’s job transferred him up here and I was forced to come along.”

Harry still hadn’t responded. Someone was finally talking to him and he couldn’t even gather up the courage to say anything back. Or maybe he didn’t want to say anything back, maybe he was happy with his quiet existence not being bothered by all the nonsense that came along with having friends.

“If you’re really that upset about the desk I can move.”

Harry turned around about to object when he heard the screech of chair legs across the linoleum floor. He was expecting Louis to glare at him or offer up some insult but the boy just sat there smiling. He motioned to the now empty desk next to him.

“All yours-”He paused realizing he didn’t even know the boy’s name. “What is your name anyway?”

“Harry.”

By that time Harry was already seated comfortably at his desk. A surge of gratefulness passed over him. Louis didn’t have to give him his desk. He didn’t even have to talk to Harry. He could’ve stayed seated in Harry’s desk until the bell sounded and the other students poured into the classroom. They would show interest in his presence. Ask him questions about his life. Someone would offer to show him around the school, he would accept, and they would realize how much they had in common. He would laugh and tell them how distraught a boy in his first class was over a desk. They would tell him everything they _thought_ they knew about the “quiet kid”. He would be invited to sit at their lunch table. He would make friends with their friends and quickly be accepted into their group. They all might even exchange phone numbers and text after school. He would go to their parties, meet their parents and siblings, and hang out with them in the hallways. He would forget that the green eyed boy even existed.

That is what should have happened.

“So Harry why are you in class so early on this lovely morning?”

Louis maneuvered himself in his chair so one leg was folded beneath his thigh and he was facing Harry.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Where did that come from? Harry definitely wasn’t planning on saying that. It just wasn’t him. It was witty and clever and flirty. No. That couldn’t have come from his mouth. But it must have because a smile spread across Louis’ face and he let out a small laugh.

“And I would say it’s my first day, which I already told you, and I don’t know anyone. So really the question is why would I be out there.”

Harry was grinning. Why was he grinning? He didn’t have time to respond though because the bell let out a piercing warning scream. Students were entering the classroom in groups, scampering for seats next to their friends, all the while keeping up conversations that were too important to be put on hold. After a few minutes, and a couple of warning glances from the teacher, everyone had settled down. Doc, as he was called, was in his sixties and had been teaching psychology for most of his life. Over the years he had picked up a few tricks to get things under control. He knew his stuff.

“I would like to start our first class with a little activity. Everyone please get out a notebook.”

Harry began to look around restlessly as his classmates pulled notebooks out from their supplies. He had been planning to buy some school supplies, a notebook included, but he had only been able to sneak enough change from his father’s dirty pants pockets to buy a couple pencils. He had been hoping that they wouldn’t need one for the first day, giving him a little more time to figure out how to get one. Louis noticed him fidgeting and looking around from person to person with wide eyes. Louis was also the only one that saw him sigh and bury his face in his hands. Everyone else was too immersed in their own activities to see the boy in the back of the classroom so obviously in despair.

 _Everything is fine. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just borrow a piece of paper and get a notebook tomorrow._ Harry lied to himself. Somewhere deep down he knew it was a lie, but he would never admit it. Lying to himself got him through the day. He did it so often and to such an extent that he didn’t even second guess it anymore like he had in the beginning. His face was still in his hands but he had calmed down when he felt something softly hit his elbow. He lifted his head hastily and looked over to see a simple black spiral notebook sitting on his desk. None of his classmates said anything, or even looked at him, and they all seemed focused on Doc as he began passing out the paper for their first assignment. A girl with long blonde hair sitting in front him caught his attention when she turned around. She handed him the last paper with a fake smile plastered on her lips. He thanked her almost inaudibly and started looking over the assignment, every once in a while peeking up hoping someone would own up to giving him the notebook.

**Psychology 101: Daily Journal**

**Each morning you will be given ten minutes to write a letter to someone. It can be a friend, parent, celebrity, or anyone else you would like. It doesn’t matter if they are living or deceased. You can write to a different person each day or continue writing to the same person. This assignment will allow you to express yourself without being judged or interrupted. I will not be collecting your journals but I do expect you to be writing the entire ten minutes to earn your participation points. Each entry should be a minimum of one paragraph and will be worth 20 points. At the end of the semester you will present a project based on what you learned about yourself from writing your entries. A scoring guide is attached. If you have any questions please see me.**

It seemed like an easy enough assignment. Harry gingerly flipped open the notebook to the first page and was about to begin writing when he noticed something written in the front cover.

 ** _When I could be in here with you._**

He mind raced back just minutes earlier to Louis’ question. It was the only logical explanation and his hunch was confirmed when he caught Louis watching him out of the corner of his eye. He could feel the heat reaching his face for the second time that morning but this time it was a different kind of embarrassment. He faintly heard Doc tell them their ten minutes had started so he shoved his previous thoughts down and started writing. He let his hand move freely, not going back to scratch anything out or even stopping to think. The words seemed to tumble out onto the paper despite his total lack of thought. Before he knew it the ten minutes was over and he had filled almost half a page with his scribbled and messy letters. He let his eyes focus and read what his hand had written for the first time.

**_Louis, Thanks for the notebook. You didn’t have to give it to me but I guess since you did I am obligated to thank you. And rather than answer your question I’m going to ask you another. Why would you want to be in here with me? Since you will never read this I guess I will never know. You were probably joking anyway. I’m just Harry. I’m not interesting. That’s probably why no one ever puts any effort into getting to know me. In fact I don’t blame them. I don’t really put any effort into getting to know anyone either. It’s better that way though. Anyway…I hope you find your way around okay and people are nice to you. I’m sure you will make tons of friends by tomorrow and forget I even existed. –Harry_ **

Harry let the words sink in before he closed the notebook and stuffed it into his backpack. He sunk back in his chair and found it was easy to focus on Doc’s words floating effortlessly throughout the classroom. This was one of the few things he liked about school. There was something fascinating about someone that held so much knowledge. Someone that devoted their entire life to sharing what they knew with people who could care less half of the time. That was dedication and Harry admired his teachers for it. He was one of the few that clung to their every word, storing the information they presented away so he would never forget it. He didn’t simply remember things in order to pass his tests.

When the bell rang again signaling the end of his first class Harry stayed seated until everyone had made their mad dash for the hallway. Well, everyone except for a boy with wispy caramel hair and blue eyes. He stayed behind, taking his time to put each item neatly in its place in his backpack. Whether he did that all the time or he was stalling Harry couldn’t tell. He finally rose and started towards the door but a voice stopped him.

“Harry! Wait up!”

Words had never controlled him in such a way before. The second they hit the air his body froze, rooted to the floor.

“How about escorting me to my next class since I haven’t a clue where I’m going?”

Louis held out his schedule and Harry took it in his own hand, surprised by his quick response. He knew exactly where Louis’ next class was. It was actually only three doors down from the classroom they were in, but instead of telling Louis that he found himself speaking an entirely different set of words.

“It would be my pleasure.”

So Harry walked Louis three doors down. Neither of them spoke but in that short time Louis caught Harry stealing several anxious glances in his direction. He told himself the boy was just making sure he didn’t get lost in the crowd. He was showing him to his next class so it made sense that he didn’t want to lose him. Harry on the other hand hoped Louis didn’t notice the looks. As much as he tried to watch only the ground in front of himself as he walked, his eyes kept pulling themselves towards Louis. He wanted their eyes to connect for reasons he couldn’t even explain, but at the same time he hoped they wouldn’t. It was a terrifying feeling looking into someone’s eyes. It was intimate and personal and something Harry tried to avoid at all costs. It was also something he craved. He wished that he could stare into someone’s eyes and not immediately pull away but all of his efforts thus far had failed.

“Well here it is.” Harry said uneasily as he picked at the edge of his fingernail where it met his skin. He didn’t even notice the slight twinge of pain or see the small drop of blood that collected over the spot he had been digging at. The two boys lingered outside of the classroom a little longer than necessary before Louis broke the silence. Over the course of the last hour he had learned a lot of things about the boy he had sat next to. He didn’t talk much unless he was forced to. He was very unsure of himself when he did speak, careful not to say too much. And possibly the most important thing he learned was that he didn’t have any friends. Now there was no way Louis could be sure of any of these things but he was fairly confident he was right. So with those assumptions in mind he searched for the right words to leave Harry with. They came quickly and naturally, like he known him his entire life but was just now meeting him for the first time.

“Find me at lunch okay? I need somebody to sit with of course and you just so happen to be my only friend.”

Harry only nodded before vanishing into the sea of students around him. Friend. That six letter word made his heart beat rapidly as he felt the beads of sweat starting to form beneath the hair pressed against his forehead. It was all too much. He had gone years only speaking a few words here and there to his classmates. Now in the course of just a little over an hour he had been speaking full sentences to someone he had just meet. _Friend._ He repeated it over and over beneath his breath as he walked to his next class. No one would really want to be his friend. Would they?

By the time lunch time rolled around Harry’s stomach felt like it was caving in on itself. He hadn’t eaten anything since the day before but there was no way he was going into the cafeteria today.


	3. (Mon.) Butterflies and vomit work together

Louis didn’t want to go home. In fact if it was up to him he would never go home again. He watched his new classmates as they struggled to push past each other and be the first to reach the doors that led to their freedom. He stayed behind, walking slowly, as he pulled his vibrating phone from his pocket. (1) New Message stared up at him as he swiped his finger across the screen to unlock it.

**From: Mom (2:30 PM)**

**Hi darling! Can’t wait until you get home! Hope your first day went well! Love Mom xx**

He didn’t bother replying as he shoved his phone back down into the depths of his pocket. Everything about the text annoyed him, from the excessive explanation points to how overly cheerful she was. He couldn’t explain why these little things got him so worked up but it added another reason to his long list of why he didn’t want to go home. She would be even worse in person, hugging him as soon as he walked through the door and plastering kisses to his forehead. She would pester him with questions about his new school, asking him if he’d made any friends, what their names were, where they lived, and what their hobbies were. He wouldn’t even have time to get a word in before she would start bombarding him with even more questions. Finally he would try to sneak away to the comfort of his bedroom but she would insist he spend time with the family.

By the time he got to his car a decent amount of the parking lot was empty. The buses had already been filled to capacity with the younger students and departed on their routes. A few stragglers that had been finishing up conversations with their friends were just pulling out onto the main road, leaving a handful of vehicles that belonged to those staying for their after school sports and clubs. Louis unlocked his front door and threw his backpack into the passenger seat. It landed on a pile of trash that had been accumulating there and sent debris flying. Louis ducked down brushing a crumpled McDonald’s bag onto the floorboard before slumping into his seat and shutting his door. His keys remained in his lap as he leaned his head back and groaned. He could just stay here for a few hours, play some games on his phone, listen to music, maybe take a nap. Sure his mom would be worried. She would probably call him a couple of times leaving voicemails asking him if he was okay, then she would have his dad call him as well. She would get over it though. So he stayed.

At first time seemed to pass quickly. He texted a few of his friends from his old school and told them he missed them. They texted back quickly and he became involved in conversations with each of them. By the time their replies started to slow it had already been over an hour. They had probably started on their homework or were getting ready to go out with friends, and because of that Louis didn’t blame them when the replies stopped altogether. He reclined his seat and closed his eyes letting the darkness wash over him. When he opened his eyes again and checked his phone it had only been five minutes.

“Fuck it.”

He muttered and stuck his keys into the ignition bringing his car to life. He couldn’t sit there for one more minute. As he drove home he began to mentally prepare himself for what he would be walking into.

The most noticeable thing about the houses on his street was their massive size. They seemed to stretch on indefinitely in both width and height, and his own house was not excluded. The day they had moved in his younger sisters had run around counting all the rooms and reporting the numbers back to him. He didn’t really care how many rooms the house had, nor did he care about anything his sisters had to say, so he just nodded whenever they spoke to him as he sat on the front step texting. Those girls were yet another reason he was dreading walking through that front door. He pulled his car into the garage next to his parents’ cars and sighed.

“Might as well get this shit over with.”

A stack of papers that his parents would have to sign were pulled out of his backpack before he headed inside, shutting the door that led from the garage to the kitchen just a little too forcefully. He looked around the room, which to his surprise was empty. He was sure his mom would have already been busy preparing dinner like she usually was around this time. Chopping up fresh ingredients and mixing things together that created delicious scents, while singing at the top of her lungs to the radio. Instead he was greeted with silence and the light smell of cinnamon, probably from a candle burning somewhere. It was better this way. He stood there, doing nothing but simply enjoying the silence, when suddenly something collided into him. It was actually two somethings and they looked up at him with toothy smiles and wide eyes.

“Louis you’re home!”

“We missed you Louis. We have loads of things to tell you.”

Louis shrugged them off.

“Later girls. I have homework.”

Of course he didn’t have any homework. His only homework was having his parents sign those silly forms that got handed out every year and that wouldn’t take him long at all.

“But Louis…,” one of the girls cried out as he walked away.

If he would’ve turned around he would’ve seen the way their smiles lowered. Phoebe’s lip started to quiver and Daisy reached over to grab her twin’s hand and comfort her. If he would’ve stayed in the kitchen he would’ve heard Phoebe ask Daisy, “Why doesn’t he like us anymore?” as her eyes glistened and she fought to hold back her tears. He didn’t witness any of those things though. Instead he was rushing around the corner and up the stairs towards his bedroom before he ran into anyone else.

Once the door was shut snuggly behind him and the lock was secured he began to relax. He dug through boxes he had yet to unpack until he found his laptop buried beneath an array of other electronics and cords. Most of the items had been presents for birthdays or holidays. Some of them were even still in their original packaging, unopened and untouched. Louis set the laptop on the edge of his queen size bed and dug through another box filled with clothes until he found a pair of plaid pajama pants and a navy blue t-shirt. He quickly changed and climbed into bed, sinking down into the soft mattress and pulling his thick blanket around himself. This was how he liked to spend his time at home. Locked away in his room playing video games, watching reruns of his favorite shows, and chatting with friends was much more enjoyable than having to endure playing with his sisters or watching a movie with his parents. 

A light knock sounded on his door followed by his mother’s voice.

“You in there sweetheart?”

“Yep.” He called out with an outstanding amount of annoyance laced through that one syllable.

“Okay. Well I just wanted to see how your first day went. Mind if I come in?”

As much as he didn’t want to get up and let her in he wasn’t that heartless. She was his mom after all and he did love her, he would just prefer to keep their conversations to a minimum.

“Hold on a sec. I’m coming.”

A glowing face appeared on the other side of the door and enveloped him in a hug. He squirmed a little trying to break away but she held tight.

“So tell me all about it!” She squealed, releasing her grip.

“Just like any other first day of school. Class rules, expectations, blah blah blah.”

“Did you make any friends?”

Harry. That name was the only thing that filled his head at the mention of the word friends. Could Harry even be considered a friend though? They talked of course and he had given Harry his extra notebook, but later in the day when Louis scanned the cafeteria looking for a messy head of dark curls to sit with he didn’t find any. Instead he was approached by a blonde boy from his English class. He introduced himself as Niall and wrapped Louis in a tight bear hug before dragging him to meet “the boys” as he called them. Liam and Zayn, he soon learned, were their names. The three of them had been friends for as long as they could remember and had gone to this school their whole life. They were easy to talk to, carefree, and funny, which reminded Louis of his friends back home. So by the time they had devoured all the food on their trays, Niall consuming more than the other three combined, it felt as if Louis had always known them as well.

“A couple boys.”

“Any of them cute?” she asked a grin unfolding across her face.

“Mom!”

“What’s his name? Now you’ve got to tell me!”

He couldn’t stop the pink that flooded his cheeks at her mention of cute boys. He had discussed things like this with her before but he was older now. Things were different than when he was fourteen and came home gushing about the newest boy he had a crush on. Now that he was older things could very easily go beyond a crush and he didn’t exactly feel comfortable discussing it with his mom. She would support him no matter what he did, he knew that, but it was an area of his life he would rather keep to himself. Once again that name came rushing back into his head. _Harry._ Maybe that was a more appropriate title for the boy, a crush, because it made a lot more sense than calling him a friend given the situation.

“I don’t have to tell you anything because there isn’t anything to tell.”

The words had come out a bit harsher than Louis had intended but they had done the trick. Wrinkles etched their way across his mom’s forehead as a look of confusion settled on her face. He knew she had given up on the subject before another word even exited her mouth. She looked down briefly, shaking her head slightly, before focusing all her attention back the boy she could barely even get to speak to her anymore.

“I love you.”

She spoke so softly that he barely heard her. Her eyes were brimmed with tears so she stood up, spun around, and left the room before Louis even had a chance to say anything. Would he have said anything if she had stayed though? That he wasn’t sure of.

He turned his attention to his laptop and began clicking around until he ended up watching music videos on YouTube until there was another knock at his door. This time instead of asking to come in, the eldest of his four sisters, Lottie pushed open the door and stood there with her hand on her hip. She was the typical teenager and had been developing an attitude like no other over the past couple of months. It just so happened that this attitude was directed mainly at Louis most of the time, because in her opinion he deserved it. The brother she used to spend Saturday nights with playing board games had been slowly disappearing until he eventually had vanished completely. He was replaced with someone who spent all of his time at parties with his friends or hiding in his room refusing to speak to anyone in his family. She wanted the brother she used to know to come back. The Louis that laughed constantly, made funny faces when she was upset to cheer her up, and told the best stories.

“What do you want Lottie? If you’re just going to stand there and glare at me just get the fuck out.”

“Mom wanted me to tell you dinner is ready, but if you’re not hungry I’m sure you wouldn’t be missed by anyone.”

She flicked her hair off her shoulder and smiled smugly to herself as she headed back downstairs. Meanwhile Louis was having an internal debate on whether or not he really needed to eat that bad. The growl in his stomach answered for him.

When he finally reached the dining room everyone was already seated around the large mahogany table. The plates were piled with chicken seasoned in herbs and spices, mashed potatoes, green beans, and corn. A plate of fresh baked chocolate cookies even sat in the middle of the table. Louis assumed they had been waiting for him before they started eating because no one had touched their food yet. Phoebe and Daisy were making the silverware dance around their plates while shouting “We’re at the ball!” and “May I have this dance Mister Spoon?” Fizzy was quietly reading a book but kept glancing up and smiling at the twins antics and Lottie was engrossed in a one sided conversation between her and her parents. She was going on and on about all sorts of things not pausing to even take a breath. Her parents’ full attention was focused on her and they smiled and nodded occasionally, sometimes adding in their own thoughts. Everyone hushed as Louis pulled out his chair and sat down next to Fizzy. Nervous glances were cast unknowingly between each other before the silence was broken by Lottie’s spoon colliding with the ceramic plate. She scooped up a large spoonful of mashed potatoes and shoved them into her mouth without a second thought.

Louis realized this was the first time he had sat down for dinner with his family in a very long time. Before they moved he would leave school and not return home until after midnight almost every day of the week. If he didn’t get invited to eat dinner at one of his friends’ houses he would stop and get something from a fast food restaurant on his way home with money his parents provided. This didn’t stop his mom from wrapping up every nights leftovers for him and leaving them in the fridge labeled _Louis._ They usually sat untouched for days, until the evening Lottie noticed her mom frowning at all the food that had accumulated. After that Lottie began throwing away the uneaten leftovers every morning before her mom woke up so she would assume Louis had taken them.

“Did everybody have good first days of school?” Louis’ dad asked optimistically looking around the table at his children.

Mumbled answers were spoken with full mouths creating a jumble of incoherent responses. Louis simply nodded his head yes. He had been picking at the food on his plate, moving it around, mixing it up, but not really eating much of it. He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t eating because he was starving. But as he sat there, surrounded by people who loved him so much, all he could think about was escaping. He wanted to get in his car and drive so far away that they would never be able to find him again.

He had thought about leaving before. Stuffing only a few outfits, some cash, and his laptop into a backpack and leaving without saying goodbye to anyone. If they knew they would beg him to stay. His mom would cry, her eyes swollen and red, as she tried to string together everything he would be missing. His dad would try to bride him, offering him anything he wanted and when that failed he would tell him stay for his sisters. His sisters would be by far the worst. They were young and no amount of explaining would be enough. They would blame themselves because they must not have been good enough or he wouldn’t be leaving them. Maybe if they had been nicer, funnier, more interesting he would’ve stayed. He would drive until it felt right to stop. Once he got wherever he wanted to be it wouldn’t be hard to find a job that paid just enough to support himself. Employers were always looking for young people to work hard for little pay these days. He would find a small, beat up apartment to rent deep in the city. The ceiling would leak when it rained and it would always smell of old people, but it would be his. Discounted food at the supermarket would be sufficient enough for his meals and even though it might not taste the greatest it would keep him full. He would make friends easily like he always did. After just a couple weeks they would be going to parties together and waking up hung over in each other’s living rooms. Life would be exactly the way he wanted it.

Something stopped him that night though. After scraping most of his food into the trash can and placing his plate in the sink he retreated to his room once more, without even offering a thank you for the meal. Just a few minutes had passed before there was a pile of clothes folded on his dresser. He was reaching down for his backpack when he froze. It almost felt like he had run into a wall, little vibrations pulsing through his arms and legs as he straightened himself back into a standing position. The vibrations traveled inward, making his heart feel like it was speeding up but completely stopping at the same time. These feelings all converged near his stomach. It felt like the equivalent of one thousand butterflies all trying to escape his body by traveling up and out of his mouth. He could feel their tiny wings drumming inside of him. All at once they found their way out of his stomach and traveled towards his throat. Their absence left him empty and caused an uneasy flipping feeling in abdomen.

He found himself propped against the toilet in the bathroom, the stench of vomit burning his eyes. Beads of sweat clung to his forehead and he grabbed a towel to wipe it away. Discarding the towel on the floor next to him he swallowed a couple times trying to rid his mouth of any remaining vomit. Steadying himself on the sink next to the toilet he pulled up on shaky legs. He held himself there, turned on the faucet, and splashed cool water across his burning face. After gulping down a few handfuls as well he turned around. His legs begged to give out but he resisted their pleas and forced them to carry his body back to where it belonged.

He didn’t know what had exactly happened to him. As his body lay still and curled beneath the blanket recuperating from the event, his mind was racing. Maybe it all was a sign, something bigger and more powerful trying to show him that what he had been about to do wasn’t the right decision. He had been about to run away if he remembered correctly. Or maybe it was just a coincidence. He could’ve threw up for any number of reasons, nerves from starting a new school and hunger from barely eating just to name a few.

As his thoughts slowed and the colors around him became hazy he found himself thinking about that name once again. _Harry. Harry. Harry._ Little did he know the boy whose name he kept repeating in his head was lying in his own room, dried tear stains mixing with fresh ones as he cried himself to sleep.


	4. (Mon.) The right choice was wrong

With only five minutes of his last class left Harry found himself making his way up to the teacher’s desk. His head was lowered, curls shielding eyes that were cast upon the floor in front of him. He didn’t dare look up, knowing that twenty pairs of eyes would be focused on him. They had been watching from the moment he stood up. The steady stream of voices all around him became softer and softer with each step he took, and by the time he stood in front of the young female teacher the only audible sound was his steady breathing. If Harry had been paying attention he would’ve seen her eyes travel up his long torso, lingering on the collarbones that just barely peeked out above his shirt collar, before finally finding his face. She couldn’t have been more than a few years older than him. She wore a white button up shirt with a majority of the upper buttons undone, probably on purpose, and a pair of tight fitting black pants. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, feathered bangs hanging across her forehead, with light streaks of pink that had clearly tried to be hidden until they faded completely. Earlier in the class Harry had noticed all these things along with her tanned skin, fresh manicure, and the scent of some designer perfume. He concluded she must have been fresh out of Uni and that could be used to his advantage. It would be easy to convince her to break the rules.

“Did you have a question?”

She spoke softly and searched for Harry’s eyes with her own, hazel in color and outlined heavily in black. Harry never was one that liked makeup on girls.

“Could I go to the restroom?”

He really hadn’t thought through what he was going to say to get out of class. He just knew that he was ready to leave and another five minutes was too long to wait. Maybe asking to go to the restroom wasn’t the best idea, it actually was a horrible idea, but there was no taking it back now.

“Class is almost over, but if it’s that important…”

“So that’s a yes?”

He still hadn’t looked her directly in the eyes. Instead his eyes flitted around trying to find somewhere to rest where they would be safe. That didn’t stop him from seeing her gaze drift downward to his mouth when he spoke, as she licked her lips.

“Yes babe, go on.”

With her words of approval Harry left without another word. Soft footsteps echoed off the lockers lining the hallway that was already plastered with posters for events and flyers for the upcoming student council elections. He had no desire to go to any events, nor was he going to run, much less vote for student council. No one would want him around at any of those things anyway. His pace suddenly quickened when the glowing red exit sign above the main doors came into view as he rounded the corner, because that meant freedom was just a few short feet away. He had managed to beat the crowd and avoid Louis, the latter of which had been what he was planning all along. He just couldn’t face the boy again, that was why he didn’t go to lunch.

Instead he found himself in the library, seated at a table with a book glued to his hands, reading until he became so immersed that he forgot about how hungry he actually was. Reading always did that for him, made his worries seem insignificant and his problems disappear, which was what he needed more than anything at that moment. That was also why spending his lunch hour in the library wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. It was actually quite the opposite. For the longest time he followed the herds of students through the lunch line. He would collect his meal, deposit himself at an empty table, and savor food that he didn’t have to cook for once. It went on like that for years. No one ever sat with him and he convinced himself that he liked sitting alone because he could read without being interrupted. When a girl in a couple of his classes sat with him one day and tried to make conversation he was polite, but quiet. Every day for a week she would be waiting for him when he got to the table. He tried to talk to her, he really did, but in the end she gave up and returned to sit with her real friends. After that he decided to wait until everyone else had gotten their food before going through the line. Once he had his tray he would scarf down the contents quickly in the hallway before going to the library to read. He didn’t have to deal with anyone there except the old woman who only talked to him when he checked out a book.

As his feet carried him along the sidewalk he always followed home he started to wonder what Louis had done for lunch. Did he find someone to sit with? Were they nice to him? Did he look around for Harry only to realize he wasn’t there? Of course the last question was only wishful thinking. Louis was probably only being nice when he said those things to Harry; he didn’t really mean any of it. Tomorrow everything would be normal again. The desk in the back corner would be empty like always and no one would talk to him. Deep within himself a little voice began wedging its way into his thoughts. It crawled its way through narrow passages, squeezed into the smallest holes, and eventually found a home in the farthest corner of Harry’s brain. There it settled in and, once it was comfortable, started to speak. It was only a faint whisper but that didn’t stop it from being the absolute truth.

_I don’t think you want things to go back to how they were._

A blare shattered the air around him and that thought quickly faded as his head twisted around to find the source of the noise. It belonged to a large truck stuck behind some cars at a green stop light because a middle aged woman was too busy texting to notice the light change. She jolted at the sound, head popping up to notice the line of cars waiting on her, and accelerated with just a little more speed than necessary. Harry shook his head just a little before he resumed walking. That was when he realized that the sidewalk had changed beneath him. He must’ve lost track of time because instead of the smooth, freshly paved sidewalk closer to school, he was now on his sidewalk leading into the trailer park he lived in. Little cracks etched their way across the sidewalks surface and pieces were crumbling off the edge leaving jagged shards lodged in the grass. There were even points where entire chunks were missing and grass had grown up in the concretes place forming green squares. It was really no surprise that he had gotten here without paying attention because he had been walking this route home for almost a decade after all. After his mom left there was no one to tell him he had to ride the bus. There was no one to pick him up and ask him how his day went. There was no one to bring him a snack as he did his homework. He was left to fend for himself while his father carried on with the life that had changed everything in the first place.

The gravel driveway lacking an old red pickup truck that belonged to his father was the initial thing Harry noticed upon approaching his home. He could feel the crushed rocks through the worn soles of his shoes as he made his way to the front door where busted wooden steps bowed beneath his weight. Pulling the flimsy metal frame open, he made his way inside to survey the damage he would undoubtedly have to repair. Everything looked exactly like it had when he left that morning, except the couch was bare. After depositing his backpack in his room he grabbed a plastic grocery bag from the kitchen, which he learned had its fair share of empty cans scattered on the floor as well. He counted the cans as he went about collecting them. It had become sort of a ritual of his and was quite useful knowledge to have. If there were just a few it was safe, but anything over a dozen and Harry would lock himself away hoping for no thunderous knocks on his door. Sometimes he was left alone; other times he wasn’t so lucky. That day there happened to be twenty four cans.

So he made sure to clean until everything was as immaculate as he could manage with limited cleaning supplies. The few dishes that hadn’t been broken in a drunken rage were stored away in the cabinet after he washed them. The floors had all been swept with the broken broom repaired with duct tape. The food and split liquid was wiped off the tables with a damp rag. By the time he was finished it looked like a different house. At least it would be one less thing his father could get mad about, because he had learned that lesson the hard way. 

He was sitting on his mattress, propped against the wall, reading a few hours later when he heard the squealing breaks of the truck pulling into the driveway. Moments later the front door slammed shut and heavy footsteps made their way down the hallway.

“Harry if you’re locked up in that damn room again I swear to god!”

The words were bellowed out, passing through the thin door effortlessly. The pounding came next. Harry could feel the wall shaking beneath his back with each hit. They were careless, with no rhythm, telling him exactly where his father had been and what he had been doing. That man really couldn’t go more than a couple of hours without a drink.

“I’m fucking talking to you boy! If you know what’s good for you you’ll unlock this door!”

So he got up and unlocked the door.

“What were you doing in there? Looking up faggot porn? Is that what you do while I’m gone?”

Harry could feel the mist of the spit spraying from his father’s mouth with each word he spat out. He was standing unnecessarily close, towering over him, the scent of sweat, sex, and alcohol filling his nostrils. He needed to take a step back and breathe in some fresh air but that wasn’t going to happen because a callused hand reached out and coiled itself around his wrist. The grip was tight and the hand was rough against his skin as it jerked him forward and drug him into the living room. When he was released he knew there had to already be a bruise forming, light purple mixing with the now bright red skin. Harry only had a moment of freedom before the hand reached for him again, this time catching his shoulder.

“Are you gonna answer me faggot?”

Harry didn’t know what to say. The last time his father had asked him this he responded by asking how he could possibly be looking up any type of porn when he didn’t have a phone or a computer. There was no answer that would be sufficient enough for that man.

“No.”

The simple choice seemed to work and the hand finally released its grip from his shoulder and followed its owner to the couch as he sunk down into the cushions, pulling a beer from the box on the side table.

“Well are you going to just stand there like a fucking idiot or make me my dinner?”

“Yea- Yeah. I will go make you something right now. I’m sorry it wasn’t ready when you got home but I wasn’t sure when you were going to be here.”

Harry scrambled to the kitchen and started pulling out whatever he could find in the cabinets. There wasn’t much left to choose from and he had no idea what he was going to make. He just knew he needed something to make his father happy. He settled on mixing a couple of cans of tuna that were hidden in the far back corner of a cabinet with some noodles that had expired two months ago. They were probably still good so he threw it all in some boiling water and let it cook. When it was finished he made up a big plate for his father and took it to him before getting some for himself.

“What’s this shit?”

“Tuna and noodles. It’s good. Just try it.”

“Doesn’t look good.”

Despite his comments he started shoveling large bites into his mouth. Little bits of tuna clung to his unshaven face before falling off and landing on his jeans.

“I cleaned up for you, did the dishes and everything.”

“Good for you.”

“Today was the first day of school.”

Harry wished his father would just show some interest in his life, or at the very least be grateful for everything he did for him.

“Can’t you see I’m trying to eat here?”

He spoke with a mouthful of food, a scowl across his face, and made a shooing motion with his free hand. So Harry retreated to the kitchen once again without having to be told a second time. He ate the burnt leftovers he had saved for himself right out of the corroded pan, savoring every delicious bite. When there was nothing edible left he filled a glass of water from the sink and gulped it down quickly to help fill his still mostly empty stomach. After searching one more time for any hidden food he sat down defeated. It was going to be a long night.

He drummed his fingers against the table trying to formulate a plan to get back to his room without any conflict. He had narrowed it down to going out the back door and attempting to climb through his window or going through the living room and taking the chance that he would get stopped. Both plans had their flaws. He wasn’t even sure if he could reach his window, or better yet if it was unlocked or not. Before he could even make a decision his father stumbled into the room. He must’ve drunk a few more beers because he couldn't even walk straight. When he finally steadied himself, bloodshot eyes darted around before they found what they were looking for.

“You.”

He stuck a finger out pointing at Harry.

“Wha-“

Before he could finish he was cut off.

“You’re the fucking reason they left me you know? My two beautiful girls left me and didn’t even tell me where they were going because they couldn’t stand you. That’s why they didn’t take you with them. They left you here with me instead. You disgusted them and they couldn’t live one more day in this house with you. Your mother knew you were a homo before you did and she was embarrassed. We all were. You remember the day she took Gemma and left don’t you? She said she had to go away for a little while because of my drinking, but we all know that wasn’t the real reason. So she packed their suitcases and told us they would be back, that they needed “girl time”.

His father’s words brought back memories of that day so long ago when his mother told him and his sister to go to their room and play. They started to get out a board game but when Gemma heard the screaming begin she held her hands over Harry’s ears. Despite her best efforts to protect her little brother he still heard every word and ended up crying in her arms until their mother called for them.

“I’m not in love with you anymore Des! I told you that the drinking had to stop but you haven’t even tried.” She screamed.

“I can stop. I promise I can. Just stay. Please!”

He was sobbing. With bloodshot eyes, puffy cheeks, and alcohol still on his breath he tried to kiss her. She shoved him back hard and he tripped over the coffee table, landing on the floor with a thud.

“Stay away from me. I’m getting the kids and I’m leaving now. We might be back, we might not. I don’t know at this point.”

“Don’t take the kids. You can’t take them.”

“Gemma! Harry! We’re going to go now.”

She shouted in the calmest voice she could muster. She didn’t want them to know how broken and chaotic she was on the inside. They appeared in the hallway, holding hands, looking back and forth between their parents nervously.

“At least leave me Harry. Just leave me _my_ son. Harry do you want to stay with daddy? Mommy and Gemma are going to take a little trip but you can stay with me.”

Harry looked at his father, a forced smile on his face and arms outstretched, as if calling him to come to him. His mother stood at the door propping it open with one foot and looking at Harry impatiently. It was in that moment that the right choice seemed clear. His father wanted him; he was crying and asking him to stay. His mother was the villain, yelling and trying to take them away. If only he had known that she was trying to help, to save them from living a miserable life with a man who only cared about himself, but he was young and he didn’t know any of those things. It wasn’t his fault that he made the wrong choice. So she took Gemma’s hand and led her out to the car leaving Harry behind. He watched from the window as they backed out and disappeared from not only his view, but his life altogether. He found Gemma’s special quilt later that night. It was stuffed into the back corner of the closet that now only held his clothes he had unpacked from the suitcase his mother had ready to go earlier. When he fell asleep wrapped in that quilt that smelt like the strawberry shampoo his sister used, he slept peacefully. He didn’t know he would sleep with that quilt every night for years to come. He didn’t know he would never see his mother or sister again. And he didn’t know that one day his father, that he had chosen to stay with, would blame him for everything when it wasn’t even his fault.

“I’m not gay.”

Harry mumbled those three words hoping maybe they would be unheard, but his father his heard them clear as day.

“Not gay? You tell me what girl is going to pay any attention to you, you worthless, repulsive piece of shit. I’ll answer that for you, not one. So instead of being alone you turn to guys? You are not my son. No son of mine would be with a guy!”

He must have been satisfied with himself because he stumbled back to the couch to lie down and probably pass out for the night. Harry sat alone, his whole body shaking uncontrollably. He told himself he was just cold and he rubbed his hands up and down his arms to try to warm himself up but the shaking continued. He had to get to his room so he stood up and did just that, taking care to be as quiet as he could. Once inside he slid the door shut slowly, careful to prevent it from squeaking, and turned the lock. The shaking had finally stopped but he grabbed his quilt anyway and lay down beneath it. Whether he was imaging things or the memories themselves had triggered it, the light smell of strawberries found their way to his nose. A single tear made its way to the corner of his eye and squeezed itself out. It rolled down the side of his face, leaving a trail behind, until it hit the corner of his mouth and was swiped away by a quick flick of his tongue while wetting his dried lips. It was like that one tear opened the gate that was holding the rest back and told them it was okay to come out. Years of locked away tears found their way, following each other, as they cascaded to freedom down Harry's face.

Occasionally he would be able stop for a few minutes, wipe his nose and readjust his pillow, only to have the tears start again without any warning. That cycle continued long into the night until, without even realizing it, exhaustion had taken its toll and put him to bed. He wouldn’t even remember in the morning but the last thing that crossed his mind before succumbing to sleep was an image of a boy with blue eyes smiling at him.


	5. (Tues.) Books hidden under couch cushions

Eyelids were heavy and limbs weak as two boys woke up on opposite sides of town, each from their own rough night. One still felt sick, his head pounding and sticky spit caking the inside of his mouth. The other was exhausted, stomach begging for food and eyes crusted around the edges. They forced their bodies to rise, squinting in the bright morning light, before taking showers. Hot water for one and cold for the other worked magic and left each of them feeling rid of all the emotions they held the night before. They pulled clothes over revived bodies, Louis plucking a dark red t-shirt with thin white strips layered across it and a pair of black skinny jeans with tags still attached out of a box, and Harry putting the clothes discarded on the floor from the day before back on. They didn’t stick around long after that, sneaking out of their houses with closed mouths and silent steps so they could to go to school. Neither one wanted to be stopped by their family, but for completely different reasons.

They hadn’t expected rain when they stepped outside but there it was, big drops falling in sheets across the dying grass leaving it mushy and flat. The roads were like miniature rivers only an inch deep, water flowing along until it reached a sewer and was sucked away. Lightening flashed across the sky leaving momentary streaks after its disappearance, followed by booms of thunder in the distance. _It could be worse._ Harry thought, and he was right. He had walked in weather much more severe than this. There was the time the tornado sirens were blaring all around him and everything went completely still and silent in the blink of an eye. He lay in a ditch on the side of the road to wait it out and had to go to school covered in mud, bits of grass clinging to his curls. Then there was the blizzard. For reasons unknown to everyone, school was not called off and he didn’t dare ask his father if he could stay home. He didn’t own a heavy coat so was stuck wearing just an old hoodie to protect himself from the frigid air. Snowflakes piled on his shoulders only to be melted by his body heat and leave the fabric damp as he walked the icy sidewalks. He had definitely been through worse than a little rain.

So he didn’t rush or try to shield himself because it would do no good. The people in passing cars must have thought there was something wrong with him, his footsteps throwing water in every direction, drops cascading back down to the pavement to join the rest while others left their mark on the light grey fabric covering his legs. By the time he reached the school parking lot his white t-shirt clung to his skinny frame, showing off muscles most people didn’t know he had. He was uncomfortable. He knew people would stare because, truthfully, they had every reason to. It wasn’t every day that a classmate walked into school soaking wet. They would whisper while watching him make his way down the hallway and the bold ones might even point him out to their friends. Ignoring them would be hard, even though he really should have been used to it all by now anyway. They had done the same thing after the tornado, and the blizzard. He sat through class after class trying to drown out the voices that filled his head while tears pricked at the corners of his emerald eyes. Could they not see what they were doing to him? Laughing at his misfortune, making a joke out of his misery; it tore at him like wind ripping dried brown leaves off of a tree branch. Pieces of his happiness blew away with each word, to land somewhere far off and disintegrate into the earth, never to be seen again.

The moment of truth came all too quickly as he forced himself to pull open the heavy door leading inside and take that first step. His foot was about to cross over the threshold when he felt a warm pressure on his shoulder that quickly registered as a person’s hand. The sensation sent pinpricks across skin that wasn’t used to such a gentle touch. These pinpricks burrowed deep beneath his skin, spreading throughout every limb, until his entire body felt like it was buzzing. It had been so long since anyone but his father had touched him, so long that he wasn’t sure how to react. Out of pure instinct Harry jerked forward causing the hand to lose contact. He regretted it immediately without even knowing who it belonged to, because the spot it had rested for just a fraction of a second now felt empty and cold. He didn’t want to turn around, to come face to face with the person who, with one touch, made him feel so _alive._ So if he didn’t want to turn around why did he suddenly find himself staring into the all too familiar blue eyes again? This time his gaze lingered just a few seconds longer than the day before, just long enough to take in the dark shadows hanging beneath those beautiful eyes.

 _Beautiful eyes_? Harry stood frozen in the doorway as people pushed their way around him. Had that thought really come from him? A boy couldn’t have beautiful eyes, at least that’s what his father had forced him to believe, but beautiful was the only word he could come up with to describe Louis’ eyes.

“No umbrella?” Louis’ mouth twisted into a smile taking in every detail of Harry’s appearance. He couldn’t deny that the boy was fit.

“It looks that way doesn’t it? How did you ever guess?”

The words came out almost playfully.

“Well where should I begin?”

Harry giggled. It was quiet and muffled by embarrassment before he even realized it had come out, but it was still a giggle. He shook his head before peaking back up at Louis through his curls.

“Maybe we should get out of everyone’s way and continue this conversation in class.”

Louis spread his arms out motioning to the people still forming a sea around them. A few girls jumped out of the way to avoid running into his arm, casting dirty looks over their shoulders. Harry hesitated and even though it was barely noticeable Louis caught it. He reached around and pulled a dark blue zip up hoodie from his backpack. After discovering it was raining he had rushed back to his room to retrieve it just in case he couldn’t find a close parking spot. Now he was grateful he had made that decision as he held the hoodie out offering it to Harry to cover himself up.

“Wha—what is that for?”

Well maybe getting the boy to take it wasn’t going to be such an easy task. So instead of wasting time reasoning with him, he took a step forward while unwrapping the hoodie from its crumpled ball. One more step and he was just a few inches away from Harry, who by this point resembled a deer caught in the headlights. He had turned a whole new shade of white and his eyes were wide with what could only be described as fear, but Louis chose to ignore all the signs telling him to stop. He reached around Harry pulling the hoodie over his shoulders as damp curls brushed across his wrist. Neither boy looked at the other as they stood there motionless, not knowing what to do next.

“This is when you put your arms in Harry.”

Once again Louis’ words had a way of controlling his actions. Without a second thought he slowly pulled his arms up and pushed them one by one into the sleeves.

“Now you have to zip it up.”

Louis was grinning by this point, but as he watched shaky hands fumble to grasp the zipper, his grin quickly faded. He wasn’t even sure if what he was about to do was the right decision but his hands were moving before his brain could tell him no. He took Harry's trembling hand in his and pulled it from its place before letting it drop. He then took the zipper in one hand and held the bottom of the hoodie with the other as he secured Harry inside the soft fabric.

“Better now?”

All Harry could do was nod. His hands were still shaking from everything that had taken place and as much as he wished he could stop them, he couldn’t. It was embarrassing enough that Louis had to see him like this in the first place. Now on top of that he had stood there like a fucking idiot as the boy put his hoodie on him. He was grateful for the hoodie, he really was. It made him feel safe, hidden from everyone’s stares, he just wished he would’ve put it on himself so at least only one of them would have to be embarrassed. Louis would probably never talk to him again after that.

He was still in a daze as he was led down hallways bustling with students, finding that he could only focus on that warm hand on him again. Everything else blurred around him but that hand and the feeling it evoked were all too clear.

“Hey? You okay?”

The hand suddenly disappeared only to reappear in front of his face. It waved back and forth trying to gain his attention.

“Yea—yeah. I’m fine.”

Speaking seemed to drag him back to an appropriate level of consciousness. All at once it registered that they were in the classroom, standing next to his desk.

“How did we…um…how did I get in here?”

“You seemed a little out of it so I helped you in. You sure you’re okay?”

Louis was studying every inch of him, worry lurking in his eyes, trying to make sure he really was okay. He wasn’t even sure why he cared so much. Lately when things required any effort on his part he abandoned them to take on something easier. That was why he had become so distant from his family. They wanted too much from him, too much time, too much talking, too many feelings. So instead he went to parties, drank too much, and kissed strangers until he couldn’t think straight. He had never had a proper relationship for this very same reason; it was just too much work. Spending one night with someone he barely knew was hard enough. Everyone talked too much. That’s why he found it strange that as he stood in front of this boy, who he had only met yesterday, he just wanted to hear him talk. He wanted to hear about his morning, what shampoo he used, and what he ate for breakfast. He wanted to know why he looked at the ground so much, what his family was like, and the things he did for fun. He just wanted the boy to talk to him about anything really.

The bell rang interrupting Harry’s response, if he would’ve even had one. They both sat down, almost relieved, but the tension from words left unspoken hung between them. Louis watched as Harry pulled his notebook out to begin writing their journal entry for the day. It was the same notebook he had given him and a feeling welled up inside him that he couldn’t describe. He was just truly glad that he had been able to help the boy in some way. Doc strolled in not long after informing everyone their ten minutes had begun so Louis pulled out his notebook to start writing as Harry scribbled away.

**_Dear Louis, Well I’m not quite sure what to say. I guess I could’ve picked someone else to write to but I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t. I’m embarrassed beyond belief that is one thing I know for sure. First you see me…well you see me all wet. I’m sure I looked pathetic really, like a cat that had just been thrown in some water. Yeah that seems fitting, a drenched cat. Then I can’t even talk while you dress me and help me get to class. You must think I’m a freak. I’m sorry that you had to put up with me. I hope you weren’t too embarrassed. I’m sure people were staring. They always do. You don’t seem like the type of guy that gets stared at though. Wait. No. You are the type of guy that gets stared at because people like you. That’s different. Way different. I on the other hand get stared at because…well I honestly don’t know why. I guess people just like to make fun of me. Who knows right? –Harry_ **

No more words were exchanged between the two until class had ended. Harry was thankful because it had given him enough time to compose himself and collect his thoughts. He still wasn’t quite sure what those thoughts were but at least he was calm, or as calm as he could be.

Louis was taking his time packing his things just like the day before; making sure everyone had left the room before he finally spoke.

“You think I’ll see you at lunch today?”

He kept it short and simple. There were so many questions lining up and trying to get out of his mouth but he held them back. Something told him he would have to be careful with this boy, he wasn’t like everyone else.

“I don’t really eat in the cafeteria anymore.”

Each word escaped quieter then the last and by the time he finished his sentence he was whispering.

“Well where do you eat then? You do eat right? I sure hope so.”

 _Fuck. Why did you just say that? Whatever happened to not asking too many questions?_ Louis scolded himself for not having any self-control.

“Wel—the hallway usually. Then I go to the library and read.”

Now it was Harry’s turn to scold himself. He shouldn’t have told him that. He should’ve kept his mouth shut because he had already told Louis far too much anyway. When people knew things about you they could hurt you a lot easier.

“Would you mind if I joined you today? A little company never hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, I guess that would be okay.”

“Well I guess I will see you at lunch then.”

Louis was beaming as he grabbed his stuff, giving Harry a little wave before leaving him alone in the classroom with a huge grin spreading across his own face.

There were only three classes to go before lunch but it felt like they would last a lifetime to the two boys anxiously waiting. One sat at his desk, tapping his foot on the floor impatiently. He hated waiting. His blue eyes were watching the rain crash against the window next to him, caught up wondering why Harry had been so drenched that morning. If he had ridden the bus or parked even at the very end of the lot there was no way he would’ve gotten that wet walking inside. This left only one logical option: he had walked from wherever he lived, and that realization made Louis’ heart ache. He could envision the younger boy trekking through the downpour, while he drove contently in his car listening to music so loud his ears rang. For the first time in what seemed like years a twinge of appreciation surged through his veins, his car had kept him dry.

The other boy was trying his best to pay attention to his teachers lecture but found himself daydreaming instead. His slender fingers were wrapped around the cuffs of the hoodie he was still wearing, pulling the sleeves down to cover the tops of his hands. Slowly he raised his hands to rest one on each side of his jaw, to support his head. He definitely wasn’t expecting the strong smell of _Louis_ , a mix of cinnamon, sweat, and maybe mint, that came from those sleeves and filled his nose. Why hadn’t he noticed it earlier? He must’ve been too distracted by everything else he was trying to sort out inside his brain, but now the smell was overwhelming. His head felt light and unsteady, like any second it might detach from his body and float to the ceiling. He felt happy, truly happy. Ecstatic was probably a more fitting description because he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed.

When the defining moment of the day came around hearts were busy racing and palms sticky with sweat.

 _He’s not coming._ Harry sat with his back resting against the wall, lunch tray propped on his lap. Food that would usually already be devoured sat untouched as the minutes passed by. His head was down, like always, not wanting to see the looks people gave as they walked past the kid eating alone in the hall. Suddenly a gust of air blew across him and he felt a warm presence slide down and settle in just inches away from him.

“Well you didn’t have to wait for me to start eating.”

Louis joked noticing the full tray next to his that already was missing several items.

“I see you’ve already started.”

“Well I was hungry. I had a few bits on my over. Couldn’t help myself, this food is just so delicious.”

Harry picked up on the sarcasm, his face flushing bright red beneath his curls.

“I think it’s quite good.”

He didn’t know where that surge of bravery had come from but he said it proudly, not a hint of regret.

“O—oh. Yea—I’ve just never been a big fan of school lunches. But hey everybody’s different right?”

“Uh-huh.”

Harry mumbled through a big bite of cheeseburger, looking over at Louis who was staring at him like he’d never seen anyone eat before.

“Looks like somebody else was pretty hungry too.”

Louis picked up his own burger and took small, careful bites. Only the sound of steady chewing and utensils meeting plastic broke the silence around them, and by the time he finished it the tray next to him was bare.

“Library?”

Harry asked and motioned with his head in the direction of the trash can a few feet away as he pushed himself up. He had already placed his cleared tray on the rack and was walking off before Louis could react.

“That was the plan, as long as I’m still invited.”

Louis scrambled to his feet, dumping his uneaten green beans and half of a cookie into the trash. He had run to catch up to the boy already around the corner.

“Couldn’t wait?”

“I knew you were coming.”

“Still. I had to run.”

“I know.”

“You didn’t even turn around, how did you know?”

“I could hear you. You’re not very quiet.”

“I am a little out of breath aren’t I? I really need to get in shape.”

There was that giggle again, soft and bursting out before it could be stopped. It was possibly the cutest thing that had ever found its way inside Louis’ ears. He was so busy relishing in the aftermath of the giggle that he didn’t even notice they were standing in front of the door to the library. Dragging himself back to the current situation he followed a mass of curly hair through the door, and over to a ratty leather couch positioned in the back behind some shelves filled with books. Harry sat down, tucking his legs beneath his body and plucked a book out from under the cushion. He flipped through the pages searching for where he left off until he found it, his eyes immediately scanning the words before him. Louis didn’t like to read but watching Harry so engrossed in the simple activity made him want to start. He made his way over to the empty side of the couch and sat down so he was facing the boy on the other end.

“Are you going to read something?”

Harry asked peeking over the top of his book, raising his eyebrow even though it was hidden under his hair.

“I—well I don’t really read.”

“Are you serious?”

“If I said no I’d be lying.”

“Then why did you want to come to the library with me? I’m confused.”

“I don’t really know to be honest. But since I’m here do you want to pick a book for me? I wouldn’t know the good from the bad.”

Nodding eagerly he jumped up and disappeared behind another shelf, only to reappear a few seconds later with not one book but a stack of them.

“These are all really good.”

He deposited the books in Louis’ lap, who looked over each one carefully before settling on a very worn hardcover that looked like it might hold his interest. Occasionally, as they read, they would catch each other sneaking a quick look at the other before shyly turning back to their books. They stayed there reading until the bell rang, jolting them from the stillness they were engulfed in.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Harry.”

They were both standing up, limbs numb from being stationary for so long when Louis spoke.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

He tucked his book safely back under the cushion and noticed Louis doing the same out of the corner of his eye. Did that mean that he planned on returning to the library to read? He could’ve very easily put the book back on the shelf but instead chose to store it with Harry’s. He didn’t have time to give it as much thought as he would’ve liked because his next class would be starting soon and he didn’t want to be late. He couldn’t let anyone get to his desk before him.

The boys left the library together before parting to each go their separate ways for the day. Right before he rounded the corner, Louis looked back over his shoulder hoping to catch Harry’s eyes, but only got a glimpse of the boy’s back instead. If only he would’ve waited just a fraction of a second longer he might have caught those eyes he was longing for, as Harry peeked over his own shoulder only to be disappointed when Louis was nowhere to be seen.


	6. (Wed.) Things that only happen in movies

A mane of brown lay spread across the desk after Harry decided to just rest his eyes. His morning was a considerable amount better than the previous one, the sky being void of even a single cloud. He had walked to school with a light breeze finding its way through his curls, ruffling them up so the mass was bigger than usual, giving him the appearance of someone living on the streets that didn’t own a brush. He decided to wear Louis’ hoodie with his only pair of worn dark skinny jeans after fighting with himself all morning.

_It might be cold outside._

_He wanted you to wear it or he wouldn’t have let you borrow it._

_It smells like him._

_You know you want to wear it._

_Just put it on and shut up._

After he slipped the fabric around his upper half he knew he had made the right decision because that feeling of safety surrounded him again, leaving him feeling ready to take on the day. He felt like he could climb a mountain. Well maybe not a mountain, but a small hill would be no problem. The closer he got to school, and Louis, the more he started to doubt if it was such a good choice after all. Louis would surely ask for it back and the whole conversation would end with awkward blushing on Harry’s part. He couldn’t tell Louis how nice it was to have something to wear that wasn’t falling apart. Nor could he tell him that it was the first piece of clothing he had worn in years that didn’t come from raiding the donation bin in the local supermarket parking lot at night. Those just aren’t things you tell people you don’t know, because people talk and things spread quickly. Within a couple of hours the whole school would know, and even if everyone was considerate enough to not make fun of him directly, the stares alone would be enough.

 _I’ll just wear it until I get to class._ Problem solved. He would take it off before Louis got there and have it waiting to return to its rightful owner. Relief flooded over him when he eventually walked into an empty classroom, looking at the clock to realize there were still over twenty minutes until class started. Waking up early had its advantages. He made his way to his desk and sat down to wait. With nothing to keep himself occupied for the time being it wasn’t surprising that his eyes started to feel heavy, dipping closed only to jump back open seconds later when his head began to roll to the side. After several minutes of this torturous cycle Harry finally put his head down, resting on folded arms, and let darkness fall over him.

He really had the intention of just resting his eyes. A few minutes weren’t going to hurt anything and he would still have plenty of time to take the hoodie off before Louis got there. That didn’t seem to be the case though as a hand tousled his hair, waking him from his nap ten minutes later. Wide eyes blinked several times before finally focusing on what had disturbed him. It was Louis off course, and his hand was still tangled in Harry’s hair, as he grinned at the sleepy boy. Harry tried to speak but he seemed to have forgotten what words were as he searched his brain trying to find what he was looking for. If this loss of knowledge was because he was still groggy or that his head was only filled with thoughts of Louis’ touch, he was unsure. Only after the hand reluctantly pulled away did he receive his answer; words and memories and facts that had been pushed aside to cling to the edges, detached and returned to their normal homes. The feeling that had taken up most of the space for that short period of time found its home as well, nestled hidden away, until the day it could come out again.

“Good morning!”

Louis wasn’t trying to be loud, but to someone who had just been woken up the words were deafening. Harry squeezed his eyes shut again letting his head fall back down, thumping against his arms.

“Morning.”

He said it slowly, dragging out each syllable, before a quiet groan escaped without warning.

“Somebody have a long night?”

Louis was studying him again as he asked, making sure nothing was wrong with the boy.

“Just didn’t get a lot of sleep, that’s all.”

Harry answered before lifting his head to rub both eyes, the action causing his face to scrunch up in the process.

 _He is too fucking cute._ Just why Louis thought this simple action was so cute was something he couldn’t comprehend. He often overlooked the little things people did on a daily basis. He read somewhere once that these things were the most beautiful if only you took the time to notice them. At the time he laughed and joked with his friends about how “beautiful” it was when they blinked as they sat around a bonfire drinking. Now as he stood there watching this boy he actually understood. His pouting mouth and wrinkled face was the most beautiful thing he’d ever saw. It even beat the perfect boy with the tanned body and bright smile he’d spent his last night before the move with. He’d told that boy he was beautiful in between rough kisses. It had been in the spur of the moment and looking back he wished he had saved those words, saved them for someone that truly deserved to hear them.

“Is there drool on my face or something?”

Harry was wiping the corners of his mouth with his sleeves.

“No—no.”

“Then why were you staring at me?”

“I wasn’t.”

“Yes you were.”

“What if I was?”

Louis could tell he had won their little argument by the frown on his opponents face.

“I—well I don’t know.”

A few students strolled in causing the boys’ conversation to come to a standstill. Neither spoke for what seemed like years until surprisingly Harry was the one who broke the silence.

“Thanks for the notebook the other day.”

This was starting to become quite a pattern when he was around Louis, blurting out things he didn’t think over thoroughly.

“No big deal. I had an extra one and figured you could use it.”

Louis was a little caught off guard but had enough sense to leave out the details of how desperate Harry had looked that day as he sat down at his own desk. He didn’t tell him that was the real reason he had given him the notebook. The bell must’ve rang at some point, even though neither could recall hearing it, because the classroom was now almost full. They fell silent again, not knowing what else to say, but told themselves it was really because Doc had just walked in.

“First project of the year!”

He bellowed out while scribbling various words across the board.

“Each of you will be paired off and given an experiment topic. Keep in mind these will not be your average experiments. We are in psychology class people.”

The blonde girl in front of Harry raised her hand.

“Yes? Clarissa right?” Doc asked.

“Yeah. Can we pick our own partners?”

She was asking politely but you could tell she was really pleading.

“Partners will be chosen by me. Randomly. And speaking of, I will read those off now. Along with your topic.”

 _Oh god why?_ Partner projects always turned out exactly the same for Harry. First he would practically beg for permission to work by himself. Sometimes the teacher would let him, sometimes they wouldn’t. If he did get forced into working with someone he always ended up doing the entire project while they abandoned him, joining their friends to distract them from doing their work as well. They would come back after everything was done to claim their credit, never even thanking him for all of his work. Sure he _could_ go to the teacher, tell them what was going on, but that meant dealing with conflict. He would much rather be left alone anyway, even if it meant letting people get a free ride. 

“Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, you will be doing the twenty four hour project.”

Did he just hear that correctly? His partner was Louis. Louis Tomlinson. He couldn’t decide if it was the best or worst thing that could’ve happened in this situation. Half of him had secretly been hoping this would happen while the other half prayed that it wouldn’t.

When Doc was finished reading off his list, he told everyone to go sit by their partner.

“How convenient. We don’t even have to move.”

Louis was talking as he drug his desk so it was positioned just an inch away from Harry’s.

“So what do you think this twenty four hour thing is?”

“I have no idea Louis.”

“I think we’re about to find out. Aren’t you excited?”

Louis was bouncing up and down in his seat. He didn’t normally get excited about school projects, but this one was different because it gave him a reason to spend time with Harry. Hell he usually didn’t even do his projects. He would let whoever he was stuck with do all the research and write all the papers and then he would present it. It was a win-win situation.

“There you go boys.”

Doc handed them a piece of paper with their instructions printed on it. They held it between them, scanning over the words that would determine what exactly they would have to do.

“Twenty four fucking hours?”

Harry didn’t mean for that to slip out, he was just a little overwhelmed.

“Well I think we should’ve guessed that from the moment he told us we had the twenty four hour project. Don’t ya think?”

Louis didn’t seem fazed by any of it as the other boy began to read aloud.

“ _You will spend one twenty four hour period with your partner, one day a week. You must be within hearing distance at all times, the only exception being when you are at school. If you have any problems please see me as soon as possible._ Of course I have a problem. Who wouldn’t?”

“I don’t.” Louis shrugged.

“Of course you don’t”

“I really don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just one day a week.”

“Exactly.”

“I think it will be fun.”

Louis couldn’t hide his enthusiasm. Never in his life had he wanted to hang out with someone more than Harry. Now he was finally getting his chance.

“Well let’s start filling this out then shall we? Let the fun begin.”

Harry was mocking him but the small smile that played on his lips gave Louis hope. Maybe he wasn’t as against this idea as he was acting. Maybe he was just scared. Scared was precisely the perfect word to describe Harry’s feelings at that moment. He was managing to keep all his fear hidden deep below the surface quite well but it was begging to come out. His limbs were twitching, miniscule movements under the skin that no one would ever notice, but if left uncontrolled would transform into violent trembles that shook his entire frame. His brain threatened to shut down, leaving him helpless to do anything about his chaotic state, but it didn’t. He could’ve very easily succumbed to what nature was urging him to do, what he always did. It would’ve been all too easy to let himself fall back into that place where everything seemed okay, where he didn’t have to face his problems. That little voice that had been nestled away choose the perfect time to come out again, and it spoke just a little louder than before.

_You want this. Stop lying to yourself._

Did he want this? Did he want to tie himself to this boy, even if it was just going to be for a couple of weeks? He would have to talk to him, and really talk to him, because twenty four hours is a rather long time to sit around in silence. They would probably start with the usual small talk, weather, school, TV shows. That wouldn’t be hard, Harry could do that. When things started to shift to the more personal side, which wouldn’t take very long, was when problems would arise. Even if Harry could manage to vocalize anything about himself, Louis wouldn’t want to know those kinds of things anyway. Why would anyone care what his favorite food was or what he liked to do in his free time? Those were things saved for conversations between friends, conversations that occurred when you put a movie on, intending to watch it, but ending up talking through the entire thing.

_He wants to be your friend though._

No. There was no way this perfect human being, sitting so close that he could almost feel the heat radiating from him, would want to be his friend. What reason would he have? What would he gain from a friendship with Harry? Nothing was the answer because Harry just didn’t have anything to give. He had no money to do anything with, nothing interesting to discuss, and no house he would ever allow anyone to come to. Louis on the other hand had everything to offer. He could make friends with anyone he wanted to with his nice clothes, outgoing personality, and good looks. That was just one of the many reasons that made it so difficult to accept what he so desperately wanted to believe. The boy could have anyone so why would he want Harry?

“Are you in there Curly?”

Louis was mimicking a hand knocking on a door, tapping gently on the side of Harry’s head.

“Curly?”

Harry asked quizzically, tilting his head slightly to the side, resembling a confused puppy. No one had ever given him a nickname before, unless he counted his father calling him faggot.

“Because of your curly hair.”

Louis was twisting a curl around his finger now. He couldn’t help himself. When he had first touched them a few seconds before he had no intention of getting so caught up in something as simple as a strand of hair, but then Harry tilted his head and he just looked so adorable and innocent that things got a little out of hand. He knew he shouldn’t push the boy as quickly as he was but it was beyond his control now. There was no turning back.

“I would’ve never guessed.”

Harry laughed, using it as an excuse to lean back slightly, causing his hair to release from Louis’ grasp. He didn’t want to admit it but he had enjoyed those few moments of contact more than he should have.

“Name, phone number, blah blah blah.”

Louis was reading from their paper, while taking it upon himself to fill in the required information.

“S-T-Y-L-E-S? Right? What’s your phone number?”

“Wel—I—um I don’t have a phone.”

“You don’t have a phone?”

“That’s kind of what I just said.”

“I know, but just, just wow. I thought everybody had their own phone ya know?”

“Everyone but me.”

Not having a phone was something he was used to by now, because he had never really seen the point anyway. Or maybe he had never seen the point because he had never had a phone.

“Well were going to have to communicate someway. Walkie talkies! I’ll get us some walkie talkies!”

Louis’ shouting gained a few puzzled looks from a couple of their classmates. Harry just laughed at him.

“I have a feeling that isn’t going to work like you want it to.”

“Well we’ve got to figure out something. What do you suggest?”

They both thought for a moment before Harry spoke.

“I guess we could just plan everything out ahead of time and meet up somewhere.”

“Yeah that should work. Who needs phones anyway!”

He had added those last few words in an attempt to let the other boy know he didn’t need to feel bad for not having a phone. It must’ve worked because Louis just barely caught the grin that stretched across Harry’s face before he ducked his head to hide it.

“So what day are we doing this on? Friday sound good?”

Louis asked as he watched Harry, waiting for him to look up again so he could get another glimpse of that grin.

“Fine with me.”

But Harry kept his head down as they finished filling everything out only muttering a few words here and there for the rest of class, and after that things played out much like the day before. Each sat through their classes, waiting for lunch when they would meet again to eat in the hallway and head to the library afterwards. They didn’t talk much, aside from the occasional question from Louis, which Harry would answer before returning to whatever they had been doing. The only difference from the day before occurred when they were leaving the library.

“I’ll see you Friday.”

Louis tried to prolong the few minutes they had left together by saying the first thing that came to mind.

“Tomorrow’s Thursday? Are you not going to be here?”

There was almost a hint of worry in Harry’s voice but it went completely unnoticed.

“Of course I’m going to be here. I just meant I’ll see you Friday because that’s _our_ day.”

 _Our day._ It wasn’t just the choice of words that made Harry’s heart skip a beat, it was the way they were said, each one filled to the brim with excitement and affection. It was their day. It belonged to them. 

“Our day. Yea—yeah.”

He really just needed to say those words out loud, so he did. He wanted to test them out, to feel how it felt to let them escape his mouth together. They tasted sweet on his tongue and rolled out like he had been saying them his entire life. The only difference was that he had never enjoyed saying anything so much before.

“Bye Harry.”

Louis wanted to hug him, or just touch him at all really, but he decided against it because he had probably already done enough damage for one day. It ended up being Harry that reached out to bridge the gap and squeeze Louis’ shoulder, before smiling shyly and turning to leave without another word. Realizing he was still wearing the hoodie he had meant to give back, he spun around to find Louis hadn’t even moved.

“I forgot to give you your hoodie back.”

He was reaching for the zipper when a light pressure appeared on his wrist, pulling his arm down gently.

“Keep it.”

Maybe he wasn’t hearing right because this kind of thing didn’t happen in real life. This was the completely unrealistic and unbelievably cute stuff that happened in movies. This didn’t happen to Harry Styles, the boy who lived such a predictable and boring life. Or at least that was how it seemed up until two days ago when he met the boy that was standing here holding his wrist much longer than necessary. Nothing seemed to make much sense anymore and no matter how hard he tried to piece the feelings erupting inside himself together he couldn’t. What was happening to him? Usually he could push things aside and forget about them to simplify his life, but this wasn’t going anywhere.

“Why?”

He knew he sounded pathetic the second the word escaped. When someone gives you something you shouldn’t ask why. You should accept it and be grateful, but he just had to know.

“Do I need a reason?”

Louis wasn’t going to let him get out of this one, he was going to make him keep that hoodie if it was the last thing he did.

Harry had no response. None of the many answers he could choose from, spinning through his head, seemed adequate enough. Yes or no was too simple but if he went into detail he would surely end up babbling. So he didn’t say anything and just stood there instead. It wasn’t the most logical choice but he really didn’t care at this point, and it worked. As Louis watched green eyes glaze over he could almost feel every emotion coursing through the other boy. He knew the answer to the question he just asked was yes, he did need a reason.

“I’m giving it to you because you need it and I don’t. And if for some reason I’m wrong and you don’t need it then I’m giving it to you because to be quite honest it looks cute on you. Satisfied now?”

If Harry had no response before he really didn’t have one now. There was no way Louis could’ve found out about his lack of clothes, so how did he know that he needed that hoodie. That he wanted to call it his own and wear it every day until the color faded and the fabric formed to shape every curve of his body, because it had belonged to the first person to give him a chance in years. And what did he mean by it looked cute on him? He told himself it was probably supposed to be a joke but the words still rang over and over in his head trying desperately to erase years of lies that had been permanently been burnt there. Harry wasn’t cute. His hair was unruly, his hands too big, and lips too full. He didn’t have any striking features or outstanding qualities. He was _worthless_ , and he had been told enough times that he had accepted it as a fact. Louis thought he was cute though. He had accidentally said it out loud after thinking about how utterly adorable the boy looked standing there having an internal struggle with himself. He couldn’t have taken the words back even if he had wanted to.

Louis didn’t ask any more from Harry as he walked him to class through the now empty hallways, neither saying a word but understanding each other completely. When they parted ways this time, Harry in his hoodie, their worlds became just a little intertwined.


	7. (Thurs.) Food, emotions, and promises

Harry paced up and down the aisles in the grocery store with a shopping basket hanging carelessly from the crook of his elbow. Normally the cool metal handle would rest upon bare skin leaving its imprint for all to see after it was removed. Today was different. Today there was a layer of fabric situated in between the two serving as a sort of protection. It was Louis’ hoodie of course, or would it be considered his hoodie now? That was the question that had kept him up late into the night as lay wrapped in the object in question, even though it was far too warm to even use his quilt. He didn’t want to take it off because the irrational side of his brain made him worry he was just dreaming and it might vanish into thin air, never to be seen again. He didn’t want that. He wanted to feel it and smell it and live in it for the rest of his life, because it wasn’t just a hoodie. To him it was a bond, a tie between him and the boy he couldn’t even admit he wanted so badly.

That night after he finally lost the battle with sleep he had dreamt about exactly that. Scenes flashed before his eyes like a movie all night long and late into the morning. Louis asking him on a date and taking him to the park to feed the ducks. The two walking around the sparkling lake, fingers intertwined. Hanging out after school and going out to eat. Talking late into the night until they both fell asleep, phones still clutched in their hands, steady breathing the only thing still heard. Dates and kisses and love filled his head unlike it ever had before. When he finally woke up it was noon. He lay there for a few minutes, curls clinging to his sweaty forehead, contemplating on whether he should even go to school or not. It was the heat, not the decision to go anywhere that made him finally rise. He stripped off the hoodie, folding it neatly and setting it on the edge of his bed, before making his way to the shower. Surprisingly his father was already awake because he could hear shuffling around just outside the door. Maybe he would go to school after all.

Luckily when he poked his head out the door the room was empty. He snuck back into his own room and threw on his usual outfit, only adding the hoodie to top it off, before grabbing his backpack to leave. He was about to pull the front door open when his father’s voice echoed from the kitchen. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes knowing he wasn’t getting out now.

“Harry is that you?”

He drug himself into the kitchen, each step becoming heavier than the last.

“Yeah. Did you need something?”

He asked not bringing his eyes up to meet the man talking to him.

“Did you need something?”

His father mocked him in his best girly voice. He wanted a reaction but he wasn’t going to get one today.

“I have to get to school.”

“Nope. Not today. We need groceries.”

He reached into his pocket, pulling out some crumpled bills and throwing them on the table. Harry must not have been hiding his shocked expression that his father actually had money to well because he was being scowled at.

“Stop standing there like you’ve never seen money and go get us some damn food.”

“O—okay.”

He snatched the money from where it had sat and stuffed it into his own pocket. He didn’t have to be told twice because he was already out the door before another word could even be spoken. It was a half hour walk to the grocery store but by the time he got there it had been over an hour, mainly because he had taken his time, walking slowly and taking in every detail around him. There was the old man in his worn jeans and plaid t-shirt mowing his grass. Little blades cascaded every which way, some sticking to his clothing while others landed back where they had come from. A woman, most likely his wife, brought him a cup of what Harry assumed was lemonade and he gulped it down quickly, pecking her on the cheek before continuing his task. Happy couples always seemed to leave Harry in a state of confusion, mainly because every relationship he had ever witnessed was full of screaming, fighting, and jealousy. His parents were the first glimpse he got into that world but it wasn’t the last. Every day at school there was at least one person that cheated on their girlfriend or finally got caught in a lie they couldn’t talk their way out of. There were the girls that would cry in class because they had just lost the “love of their life” and they didn’t know how they would go on. There were the boys that bragged about how many girls they had sex with over the weekend while their girlfriend was on vacation. Then there was Harry.

The curly haired boy had never even come close to being in a relationship but yet he knew more about how they worked than anyone else. And the one thing that he was most certain of was the fact that love never lasts. People always end up hurting each other, no matter how much they claim to be in love. So every time he got lonely or wished someone would love him he reminded himself that it would all be pointless. Sure he would be happy for a little while, but was it really worth all the pain that would come along with the inevitable ending? He was better off alone.

_If you’re better off alone why do you keep thinking about Louis?_

He tried his best to ignore the question he was asking himself as he tore his eyes away from the elderly couple and kept walking.

A little farther down the road he spotted a cat sunbathing in a windowsill. It was grey with white patches dotting its fur and it lay sprawled out letting its body soak up each and every ray of sun like its life depended on it. Harry wished he could look that peaceful when he slept. The biggest difference between himself and that cat was that while the cat dreamt of mice and scratches behind the ears, Harry only had nightmares. And you can’t look very peaceful when you’re having nightmares. The only exception had been his most recent dreams about Louis and he wasn’t even sure what to think about those yet. Now as he tried to recall the details of the dream that had only ended hours ago he found himself at a loss. He usually loved the way he would forget his dreams when they were bad, that way he didn’t have to relive them over and over. He wouldn’t mind reliving any dream with Louis in it though, because it was the closest he would ever get to actually being with the boy.

The rest of his walk he racked his brain for any details it could find of his Louis dreams, and by the time he reached the little grocery store he had given himself a headache.

The automatic doors opened with a swoosh as he approached and he entered, taking a shopping basket from the top of the nearest stack and hanging it on his arm. He pulled the bills his father had given him from his pocket and smoothed out each one in his hands, counting as he went. The grand total was measly and wouldn’t even cover the basics they needed, so he couldn’t be picky. As he walked through the store he collected a few things that they had to have; milk, eggs, cheese, and bread were all placed neatly in the basket first. Of course there were things he wished he could have, foods that he saw on the shelves every time he came in but had never gotten the chance to taste. When he first was given the privilege of doing the shopping it had been hard to pass up those foods. Now it didn’t even faze him because somewhere along the line he had accepted his fate of eating bland meals for the rest of his life.

He was standing in front of the cereal section trying to decide between two of the cheapest off brands there were in the store when he felt the presence of someone else in the aisle. It was only when a pair of hands placed themselves on his shoulders, giving a slight squeeze, that his body tensed and slowly turned around. He was met with the only face that could look better in real life then in a dream.

“Harry! What a coincidence to see you here. I was just stopping by to pick up a little after school snack.”

Harry couldn’t reply because he was still too caught up in the way Louis’ hair was slightly tousled from the wind, the way his eyes glistened under the florescent lights, the way his smile formed little lines around his eyes and the corners of his mouth.

“Speaking of school, where were you today? I had the whole couch in the library to myself and I have to admit it was quite lonely.”

Louis had been more than lonely. Distraught was probably a better word to describe himself. He had gotten to class early expecting to find Harry already there but was disappointed to see an empty desk next to his. Assuming that the boy was just running late he sat down and began unpacking his things. When the bell rang and he still hadn’t shown up, he got worried. He had only known the boy for a couple of days but in those couple of days he had always been there on time. With each passing minute Louis’ foot tapped the floor a little faster, he focused less and less on Doc’s presentation, and by the end of class the only thing left in his head were his concerns for Harry. Those concerns only grew when he got his lunch and searched the hallways for the only boy who ate there. He ended up slouched against the wall they had shared the day before, nibbling pieces of his food, eventually tossing it all in the trash can so he could head to the library. He told himself that he didn’t have anything else to do, that was why he was actually reading a book by his own choice.

_That boy is changing you already._

He wasn’t quite ready to admit that but he knew it was true. He could’ve very easily found those boys he had eaten lunch with on his first day. He could’ve went and sat in his car and listened to music. He could’ve started on his homework. His options were endless. Despite all of the things he could’ve done he choose to read a book a curly haired boy had picked out for him, and to top it all off the boy wasn’t even there for him to try to impress by doing it. What was happening to him?

When school finally ended his stomach was punishing him for hardly eating any lunch. He decided to explore a little and after driving around aimlessly he ended up at a grocery store he had never even heard of. It was small and cluttered, not anything like the places his family normally shopped. The shelves were lined with brands unfamiliar to him and prices lower than he had ever seen. But by far the most shocking thing he came across inside that grocery store was the boy he hadn’t been able to take his mind off of all day. He stood in the cereal aisle, a basket handing from his arm, looking at the items lining the shelf like he was trying to answer a hard question on a test. His first instinct was to wrap the boy in a hug from behind but on second thought that didn’t sound like the greatest idea. He would either startle the boy or make him uncomfortable, if not both, so he settled on a grabbing his shoulders and squeezing just a little because he couldn’t help himself.

After asking the boy where he had been he had accidentally started mumbling because he was just so excited, and ended up saying something about being lonely.

Shit.

Now they both stood there awkwardly looking at the ground, which was normal for Harry but something Louis hardly ever did. Luckily Harry remembered how to speak and pulled them out of their silence.

“I woke up late and by the time I would’ve walked to school there wouldn’t have been any point. So I just skipped.”

So he does walk to school. Louis finally had an answer to at least one of the things he had been wondering.

“What if I told you I might have missed you?”

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Louis didn’t know why he let himself keep saying these things. By now Harry probably thought he was some obsessed stalker that followed him to the grocery store and was going to start peeping in his windows at night.

There was a slight tint of pink finding its way to Harry’s cheeks as he looked up at Louis. Had he really just said that he missed him? I mean he did say _might_ and it was a question, not a statement, so maybe he was just joking. If he was just joking Harry would surely regret what he was about to say but it fought its way out of his mouth and into the air before he could stop it.

“Then I might have to tell you I missed you too.”

Another awkward silence, this one only lasting a few seconds, enveloped them. Louis wasn’t sure how to respond, which also was something that hardly ever happened to him, so he opted for changing the subject.

“So you’re grocery shopping?”

_Well that was kind of an obvious question. Good job Louis._

“I guess the food in the basket gave it away?”

Harry smirked, nodding towards his basket.

“No I was thinking more along the lines of the food on all the shelves.”

Louis spread his arms out and turned in a circle, head hung back so it looked like he was staring at the ceiling.

“Has anyone ever told you are really weird?”

Harry was fighting back giggles between each word. How could it be wrong to like a boy when he was the first person to make him giggle, hell the first person to make him smile, in years. He was supposed to like girls, that was how things worked, but when was the last time a girl had made him feel like this?

“I might have heard that a couple of times before. Okay maybe more than a couple of times. But who’s counting right? So in other news I’m really hungry. Let’s walk and talk before I die right in front of you from starvation.”

Harry grabbed the closest box of cereal to him without a second thought and trailed behind Louis as he made his way through the aisles. His eyes scanned the various products until he found the snack section, which he parked himself in front of.

“What shall I get? What shall I get?”

Louis rubbed his chin, contemplating which box of sugary goodness he wanted to purchase. He didn’t notice Harry behind him shaking his head until he cleared his throat, catching his attention.

“May I ask why you are shaking your head at me Harry?”

Of course he couldn’t tell him the real reason he was shaking his head. He happened to be amazed that it was taking the boy so long to choose something. If he was able to buy any of those things it wouldn’t even matter which one he chose, because he would be happy with any of them.

“You’re amusing. That’s all.”

“You want amusing, I can show you amusing.”

Louis began piling various boxes of cookies and snack cakes on top of each other in his arms. When the stack reached his chin he peered at Harry over the top and smiled before turning and heading towards the checkout area. Harry followed closely behind because he probably couldn’t afford to pick out anything else anyway and he didn’t want to leave the other boy just yet. When they reached the checkout Louis threw down his possessions, pulling out his wallet to reveal a large stack of bills. He plucked one from the rest and held it out to the young female cashier once she had finished ringing everything up. Harry was next and he carefully unloaded his few items, watching the price rise with each scan. When the total was brought up his heart sank because he instantly knew he didn’t have enough. A few moments passed before his eyes glazed over and his temperature started to rise, sweat collecting beneath his hair. He panicked, not knowing what else to do, so he pulled the money from his pocket and held it out to the cashier who took it gingerly and counted it. A puzzled look momentarily crossed her face before she spoke.

“This isn’t enough to cover it all sir.”

By this point Harry had begun to shut down. The fog was finding its way back to dull his senses and the only thing he could hear was a slight ringing all around him. He was staring at a particular spot on the floor, counting the lines that divided the tiles, when his hands started to tremble slightly. With the last bit of conscious thought he had left he made the decision to stuff his hands in his hoodie pocket so Louis wouldn’t see how nervous he really was. The only problem was that Louis had already noticed every change the boy next to him was experiencing, and all he wanted to do was make it stop. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by the way Harry was acting and more that he didn’t want Harry to be embarrassed. Without a second thought he pulled another bill from his wallet and paid the remaining balance. He plucked their bags from the rack and grasped Harry’s wrist leading him out of the store and into the parking lot.

Setting the bags down carefully, he walked Harry over and lowered him so he was sitting with his back against the brick wall of the store. He sat himself next to the boy, a little closer than necessary, and draped his arm over his shoulders while beginning to rub little circles into the skin where his fingers rested. He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that, neither saying a word to the other. At one point he thought he saw Harry peek over at him when his trembling finally ended, but it might have been his own mind playing tricks on him. He hadn’t been thinking clearly because all he could focus on was the curls that kept tickling his arm and the heat against his skin from the other boys neck. His fingers had grown tired long ago from the constant motion but he couldn’t will himself to stop touching the soft skin that he finally had access to.

In all honesty Harry had recovered from the event quicker than he anticipated. He vaguely remembered being led out of the store and somehow he ended up sitting down. That was when he felt that warmth again. It pulsed throughout his upper arm, stopping only momentarily before starting again. After a few minutes he realized the warmth was coming from Louis’ fingers that were attached to Louis’ arm that was wrapped around his shoulders. He didn’t want to move, fearing it would break whatever trance they were stuck in, but at the same time he needed to move even if it was just a peek because he had to see Louis. He had to make sure this wasn’t something he was imagining. So he lifted his head slightly and caught sight of the face he had been hoping would be there, eyes unfocused and small smile playing on his lips.

Eventually Harry felt guilty for keeping the boy stuck with him for so long and decided it was time to let up his act, even though it hadn’t started out as one. He spoke, slowly and cautiously, his voice deep and raspy from being silent for so long.

“Thanks for helping me out.”

Louis was startled by the sudden noise. He hadn’t thought Harry’s voice could get any more attractive but somehow it had defeated the odds. He had a feeling that would be happening a lot more if he stuck around for it.

“It’s no big deal. You almost had enough. I only had to pay a little extra.”

“Pay what?”

As soon as the question hit the air it all came flooding back to him. Louis had paid the rest of his bill. If he hadn’t already embarrassed himself enough this was just the icing on the cake.

“You really were out of it weren’t you? I paid for the rest of your food. It really isn’t a big deal; it’s my parents’ money anyway.”

“Yea—yeah. Thank you.”

He had managed to pull himself together enough to realize he had to say thank you, even if he really just wanted to disappear and never be seen again.

“Did you want me to drive you home or anything?”

Louis was starting to stand up so he followed suit and pushed himself up slowly, using the wall as support until he felt steady enough to support himself.

“No—no I’m fine. I—it isn’t a very long walk.”

“Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”

“Yeah it’s okay. Thanks again Louis. I don’t really know what else to say.”

Harry reached down to pick up his bag, keeping his eyes trained on the concrete beneath his feet.

“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll see you at school tomorrow? Right?”

If Harry would have looked up he would’ve seen the pleading in Louis’ eyes. He was practically begging him to be there even though and didn’t just go right out and say it.

“I will be there.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good.”

Harry gave a little wave and without looking up turned to start his walk home, shopping bag handle wrapped around his hand. Even though Louis couldn’t see it he was beaming from the moment he turned around until he got home. Louis got in his car but didn’t pull out of the parking lot until Harry had made his way across the street and around the corner, out of his sight. His thoughts were racing around but one stuck out above the rest. That was definitely the best money he had ever spent in his life.


	8. (Fri.) Nicknames keep nightmares away

The first week of school was already almost over before it even started. It was Friday and usually Harry would be excited because it was the last day he would have to endure before he would have two full days to himself. A majority of his weekend would be spent hiding in his room reading, until every trace of the real world faded away, leaving just images from printed words in his mind. This Friday there was a different kind of excitement though. This Friday was their day. As he sat at his desk in the empty classroom, tapping his foot anxiously, he felt like he was going to explode from anticipation. Throwing up was also a possibility. The mixture of wanting to hang out with Louis all day and being scared out of his mind to hang out with Louis all day was overwhelming and he wasn’t quite sure how to handle himself.

_You will be fine. You can do this._

_No._

_Yes._

_No._

Harry was in the middle of his argument with himself when once again Louis snuck up on him. He really should’ve been used to this by now but of course he wasn’t. The boy had a way of showing up whenever he was deep in thought, therefore not paying any attention to his surroundings, allowing Louis the perfect opportunity to interrupt him without warning. He hated it.

Louis on the other hand loved it. He watched the boy, clearly in his own world, as he quietly made his way down the aisle of desks. He was careful not to alert him to his presence until he was standing right in front of him.

“Glad to see you made it today Curly!”

Why did this beautiful boy, standing right in front of him practically shouting, feel the need to be so loud in the morning? It must have done the trick though because Harry’s full attention had been pulled from whatever he had been thinking about, which he couldn’t even remember anymore, to the words just spoken.

“Had to come didn’t I?”

“And why would that be?”

Louis knew the answer to his question; he just wanted to see what Harry would say.

“s’um—wel—I. We have to—to do our project today. And I wasn’t here yesterday so I really felt obligated.”

His words came out jumbled in one long rush, as he tried to get everything out without saying anything to embarrass himself.

“Well no matter what reasons you have for coming to school on this lovely morning I am happy you are here. It would’ve been awfully hard to spend twenty four hours with you if I couldn’t find you.”

Louis reached out after finishing his sentence and ruffled Harry’s hair, pulling away slowly, as he let each soft strand commit its feel to his memory.

“That’s very true. And we would’ve failed our project before we even started.”

Louis’ touch had this way drawing words from Harry’s mouth, making him feel confident and fearless.

“Can’t have that now can we Harry?”

Harry didn’t get to answer because they were cut short by the bell ringing once again. After that the day actually proceeded at a nice pace considering the fact that both boys couldn’t wait to get it over with. During lunch they had briefly discussed meeting each other by the library after their last class, but that was as far as their plans had come. So when the final bell rang and they found each other amidst the crowd they still weren’t sure where they were going or what they were going to do.

“So what now?”

Harry asked, noticing the curious eyes of his classmates glued to him as they walked past.

“I thought you were planning all this out!”

“Wha—Louis why would I be the one planning anything? I—I don’t. You—I just don’t really ever do things like this.”

A few people that had been watching as they passed whipped their heads around trying to catch what he said. He hadn’t realized he was talking as loud as he was and lowered his voice midsentence, blushing wildly. He wasn’t sure why Louis had thought he would plan out what they were going to do in the first place. One of the drawbacks of having no friends meant he wasn’t even sure what people his age did for fun anymore. Sure he heard everyone discussing the parties they went to or the movies they saw but that was just a general idea of how they spent their time. He had no idea how they came up with things to talk about or what they did when they ran out of things to do.

“Well _Harry_ , I don’t know anyone around here but you, and I don’t know where anything is, and I don’t know what you like to do, and—do I need to keep going?”

He was only joking with the boy but as he spoke he watched Harry’s body tense slightly. His eyes found the floor again and he refused to look up even when he muttered out an almost unheard response.

“I don’t know anyone but you.”

If Louis had thought he felt bad before it was nothing compared to how he felt when he heard those words. As far as he knew Harry had gone to this school for years and in all that time no one had taken the time to get to know him? But the part that sickened him beyond belief was the fact that he could’ve very easily been one of those people, had he gone to this school sooner. Even at his old school he had been one of those people, not getting to know anyone that didn’t stand out, making fun of the quiet kids, only judging people based on what he thought he knew about them. He would’ve never even given Harry a chance, so talking to him in the first place was very out of character and becoming friends with him (if they could be called friends yet) was downright crazy.

Once again Louis was reminded of how careful he had to be with this boy.

“Come on, let’s get out of this place then we’ll talk.”

Harry let Louis lead the way, staying close behind so he wouldn’t lose him. He desperately wanted to reach out across the inch or so that separated them and grab his arm, or shirt, or just touch him really but he couldn’t make himself do it. That didn’t mean he didn’t think about how it would feel the entire time they were walking through the parking lot. Actually he was so engulfed in how it would feel to clutch Louis’ bicep beneath his fingers that he didn’t even realize the boy had stopped, until his body suddenly collided with another.

“Get a little distracted?”

_Yes by you._

That was what he wanted to say, but the things he wanted to do and the things he actually did were very different.

“Just trying to think of something to keep us occupied, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay. I guess we could just hang out and watch movies or something. My house or yours?”

_Well shit._

Harry had never really considered his house even being an option. He didn’t mind the lack of furniture or the stains that dotted the carpet, but not everyone was used to the way he lived. And even though he didn’t want to admit it a tiny part of him would be embarrassed if Louis saw his dirty mattress on the floor, his scarce amount of clothes, or had to meet his father. Those things might scare the boy away and he didn’t want that. With his previous thoughts in mind he answered without skipping a beat.

“Yours.”

His quick response didn’t go unnoticed but Louis let it slide.

“Mine it is!”

Louis pulled his keys from his backpack and was about to unlock the door to his car when he froze. An idea had come to him out of nowhere, a stupid and childish and old fashioned idea. It took over every inch of his brain and commanded his feet to move, step by step, until he was standing next to the passenger door on the other side of the car. He unlocked it, pulling it open slowly, before motioning to the boy who stood a few away to get in. Harry felt like he was going to pass out right there in the parking in front of everyone that had to be staring, even though he wasn’t going to turn around and look. Was Louis really holding the door open for him? There was no way in the world this was happening in the middle of his school parking lot for everyone to see. No one would want to be seen leaving school with him, much less holding a door open for him like they were together.

“Am I going to have to carry you to the car Curly?”

Louis had his head tilted slightly to one side waiting for his answer and Harry gave it to him, slowly walking over until they were just inches apart.

“As much as I would’ve liked that, I can walk.”

He spoke with total confidence, a smirk making its way across his face, before quickly ducking into the car. Louis shut the door and as he made his way back around Harry could see the muscles in his face resisting the grin trying to break out. Had his words really had that big of an effect? He hadn’t even planned on saying anything but something inside him had other plans, pushing the sentence out before he could stop it. Now that he realized exactly what had come out of his mouth he wished he could take it back. His face was flushed, light pink spreading across his pale cheeks, when Louis plopped down in the seat next to him and started the car. They drove in silence all the way to Louis’ house, Harry watching as the houses lining the street seemed to get bigger and bigger.

“Home sweet home!”

They were parked in the driveway of a house that looked more like eight houses combined with a garage bigger than Harry’s entire mobile home. Trees and bushes dotted the property, perfectly manicured and sculpted, not a thing was out of place. Those little lights that stick in the ground lined the sidewalk waiting for their sensors to turn them on when the sun set, creating a glowing path to the front door.

_No fucking way._

Harry was sure his mouth was hanging open but he couldn’t bring himself to care, he was far too busy staring at the property in front of him. He broke the trance he was in long enough to get out of the car and trail behind Louis up to the door. Louis was reaching for the doorknob when suddenly he spun around, ending up much closer to Harry than anticipated.

“I’ve got to warn you, my family is a little…well a little crazy.”

Embarrassment laced Louis’ hushed voice.

“Why are you whispering?”

Harry was being loud on purpose. Maybe this was why the other boy was so loud all the time. It was quite fun. Louis’ face crinkled, eyebrows furrowed, as he snapped his pointer finger up to his lips.

“Shhh!”

“That was pretty loud for someone trying to get me to be quiet.”

“Harry!”

Louis thrust the finger that had been covering his own lips across the few inches separating the two to cover Harry’s. Boy was that a bad idea. He had kissed a lot of boys over the years and not one of them had lips that were as soft or full as the ones he stood there touching, the ones he couldn’t stop thinking about connecting with his own.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad Louis.”

Harry was whispering now, finger still against his lips. It didn’t stay there long after that, Louis retracting it, even though he didn’t want to, before he spoke.

“Oh but it is. You have no idea.”

If he had only known how untrue his words were in every aspect. His family wasn’t that bad. Harry was the one that knew all about bad families.

“I—“

Harry was cut off by the door swinging open, a young girl stood there showing off her smile that was lacking a few teeth.

“I thought I heard you out there! Who’s this? Phoebe! Louis’ home and he brought a boy with him!”

The girl was joined by who Harry assumed was Phoebe, even though they looked exactly the same. Before either could say another word Louis was ushering them back.

“Not now girls.”

He was almost to the stairs when he realized Harry wasn’t behind him.

“I’m Harry. It’s nice to meet you guys.”

He was kneeling down so he was eye level with the girls as he spoke, shaking both of their tiny hands.

“Harry is a really nice name. I like it.”

“Me too. I like his hair.”

“It’s curly.”

“I know.”

“Touch it.”

“No you touch it.”

“Daisy!”

“No!”

They were giggling, clearly in their own world. Harry was watching them and Louis was watching Harry.

“I’ve got a better idea.”

Harry dropped to the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of them.

“Why don’t you style it for me?”

The wave of shock that passed through their faces was almost crushing, but it quickly turned to excitement when they realized he was serious. Almost immediately two pairs of little hands were twisting and braiding and pulling curls in all directions.

“Here let me help you.”

Louis had appeared next to the girls, taking a braid from Phoebe’s hands. His voice was soft and full of compassion that had been hidden away for so long.

“Watch me and then you try.

Phoebe’s eyes were wide and she nodded eagerly, not looking away until Louis had finished his braid.

“Your turn.”

Where this urge to spend time with his sisters was coming from he wasn’t sure. He hadn’t been expecting Harry to take any interest in the girls because to be quite honest he thought if they annoyed him they must annoy everyone else. But that wasn’t the case because apparently Harry _had_ taken interest in them; in fact he even seemed to be enjoying their company. Maybe that was what drew Louis from where he had been standing over to the group. Maybe it reminded him of how close they used to be. Maybe he had missed those kinds of moments they used to share. Maybe the boy getting his hair done by two little girls had opened his eyes to what he had been missing.

He watched as Phoebe fumbled with the hair, little pieces sticking out from every direction, as she tried her hardest to make it look good. When she was finished she turned to him for approval and he gave it to her.

“It looks beautiful!”

Her face lit up, literally lit up. He could feel the glow and see the glow and for the first time in a very long time he just wanted to hug her. So he did, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing maybe just a little too hard. But hey he was making up for a lot of hugs he had missed out on.

“Louis you’re crushing me! I can’t breathe!”

She squealed but the giggles afterward let him know she was just being dramatic.

“Daisy get your butt over her.”

She looked slightly confused but joined them anyway, squeezing herself into her brother’s arms.

Harry sat there, quiet as to not disturb the moment he was witnessing, but the hug only lasted a few seconds longer before they detangled their limbs, revealing flushed faces and bright eyes. He had the feeling that they didn’t see that side of Louis very often, if ever, due to their surprised faces and cautious movements over the past couple of minutes. The things he would’ve given to have little sisters to hug. He would never let them go.

“Oh Louis you’re hom—and you brought company! Honey get in here!”

The woman was hugging Louis before he even he time to get away.

“Mom really it’s not that big a deal. You don’t have to call dad.”

His head was shoved against the side of her head, causing his words to come out muffled.

“What is it?”

Too late.

“Louis! What are you doing home so early?”

“Well I—um—this is Harry. Were partners for a psychology project and we were going to work on it here.”

“Harry it’s nice to meet you dear. I’m Jay and this is my husband Mark.”

By this point Harry had stood up, the outcome from his hair styling session still clear. He didn’t have time to think about how silly he must’ve looked because he was being caught in a hug by Jay, his arms hanging limply at his sides, unsure of where to go. It had been so long. Luckily it was a short hug and he was released to Mark smiling and standing close by with an outstretched hand.

“How’s it going?”

“Good Mr. Tomlinson.”

Harry mumbled shaking the man’s hand.

“Glad to hear it son, but call me Mark.”

“O—okay.”

There was a brief silence before Louis grabbed Harry by the arm and started dragging him out of the room.

“We’ll be in my room. Lots of work to do.”

“Will you at least be down for dinner? Harry you are welcome to stay and eat with us.”

Jay was watching anxiously.

“Yeah—yeah that’s fine.”

As he was being pulled around the corner Harry gave Jay an empathetic smile and she returned it with a shake of her head and a small laugh. They were going up the stairs when she called out.

“Have fun boys!”

“Jesus christ could my parents get any more annoying.”

Louis had muttered under his breath after his mom’s last remark, looking to Harry for his opinion.

“I kind of like them.”

It shouldn’t have been embarrassing to admit that but for some reason it was.

“Hang around for a bit and you’ll change your mind.”

But Harry didn’t think he would change his mind, because they were everything that parents should be. They were interested in their kids’ lives and extremely nice. They were a little overbearing but only because they cared and well, they were pretty perfect in his opinion.

“Welcome to casa de Louis.”

They were standing in a rather large bedroom, boxes and clothes cluttering the floor.

“Casa de Louis? Do you even know what that means?”

“Of course I do!”

“What does it mean then?”

Silence.

“It means house of Louis. This is a bedroom. A very messy one.”

“Hey! I haven’t got around to unpacking just let. It’s not my fault.”

Louis climbed onto the bed, fumbling around beneath the pillows until he pulled out a laptop.

“Care to join me?”

He was patting the fluffy blanket covering the mattress with one hand while the other pulled his laptop open. Harry didn’t really have any other choice so he clambered up, immediately sinking into what was the most comfortable thing he had ever sat on. Was this what beds were supposed to feel like?

“What movie do you want to watch?”

Louis was clicking around on the screen so he didn’t see the hesitation that found its way to Harry’s face. Sure he had watched movies as a kid, when his mom and his sister were still around. They would have movie nights, snuggling on the couch together, whenever his father didn’t come home. He didn’t know it then but it was his mom’s way of protecting them, making it fun when he was gone, instead of stressful. In more recent years he hadn’t had money to upgrade their old VCR so the only movies he ever watched were his collection of childhood favorites. Whenever he was having an especially bad day he would pull out the box of tapes and stay up all night watching them. He didn’t even pay attention enough to know the names of any movies that Louis would know. There was no way he would be able to see them so why bother.

“You can pick.”

“You sure? You are the guest.”

“I’m sure.”

Louis ended up picking out some romantic comedy Harry had obviously never heard of and they spent the next couple hours laughing far too loud. Harry had been quiet at first, letting out only little giggles, but before he knew it he was laughing right along with the other boy. They were clutching their sides, faces turning red and tears welling up, when Louis toppled over. He wasn’t sure if it was the lack of oxygen that had made him loose his balance or just the fact that he wasn’t paying attention, but he ended up slamming into Harry’s side. A chain reaction ensued, pushing Harry down, head hanging off the edge of the bed with curls dangling helplessly. He was still laughing as Louis regained his composure and offered a hand to pull the boy upright. Harry reached for it, not expecting the slight tingling in his palm when their skin touched. He wrapped his long fingers around Louis’ surprisingly small hand and held tight as he was pulled up. That was how they found themselves in some sort of trance, hands intertwined together even though there was no longer any need to be. They were sitting much closer than before, clothes touching, hands resting on Louis’ thigh. Seconds passed, the tingles traveling up Harry’s arm and then back down again to his hand. His heart was beating incredibly fast and if he would’ve been able to think properly he would be worrying that Louis could hear it. Minutes passed, neither saying a word, not moving, not looking at each other, just sitting there holding hands.

That was what they were doing. It might not have been on purpose but it was happening, that was for sure. Harry was the one that finally pulled away, although he really didn’t want to.

“Sorry.”

The embarrassment hit Harry hard. Louis had probably only held his hand because he didn’t want to make him feel bad, he didn’t like boys that way, and even if he did he surely wouldn’t like him.

“What are you saying sorry for?”

“I—well I don’t—I shouldn’t have done that.”

Harry refused to look up.

“You didn’t do anything. I helped you up, that’s all.”

Louis knew the entire situation was uncomfortable for the other boy. He knew that it really was more than helping him up. But he knew Harry wasn’t ready to admit that just yet. So he lied, and it worked. The look on Harry’s face was fading, a smile taking its place, and Louis knew things were going to be okay.

They resumed the movie where they had left off, Louis anticipating the other boy to reposition himself so they weren’t so close. To his surprise Harry stayed where he was, seemingly unfazed by the close proximity, even after how embarrassed he had just been.

They spent the remainder of the day much like that. In between movies, after Harry was properly introduced to the rest of the family, they ate dinner with everyone. Louis stayed at the table a little longer than usual and Harry’s face was hurting because he was smiling so much. They ended up back on the bed, only making it through one more movie before Louis fell asleep. He had somehow slide down without Harry noticing because his head was resting comfortably on his pillow, legs tucked beneath the blanket. Harry quietly shut the laptop, setting it aside and threw a pillow on the floor for himself. He could’ve slept on the bed. It was big enough and he was sure Louis wouldn’t mind, but it just didn’t feel right. So he curled up on the softest carpet he had ever felt, completely content.

“Goodnight Lou.”

He tested out the nickname, knowing if it sounded stupid he would be the only one to hear it. He was wrong. Someone who was on the verge of sleep did hear it and they thought it sounded absolutely perfect.

“Goodnight Harry.”

Louis whispered back so quietly that Harry thought it was his imagination as he drifted off. And whether he thought he imagined it or not there would be no nightmares that night.


	9. (Sat.) Sometimes silly ideas work

The sun was still hidden beneath the horizon when Louis woke up the next morning. He blinked wearily, checked the time on his phone, and was about to go back to sleep when another one of those silly ideas came to him. He was going to cook breakfast for Harry. Now holding the car door open was one thing, that was easy. Cooking was a whole different story, mainly because Louis couldn’t cook. Which was exactly why as he stood in his dimly lit kitchen, pots and pans and pieces of food scattered across the counter top, that he started to wonder if he had gone insane.

It was definitely a possibility.

After a lot of thought he had decided on scrambled eggs and bacon because it “couldn’t be that hard”.

Boy was he wrong.

He started on the bacon first, peeling each strip out of the package and laying them side by side in a skillet. The eggs came next and he felt relatively proud as he cracked each one into a bowl without getting any of the shell in.

It was the pop of grease and a sudden stinging on his arm that really caused everything to go downhill. He was mid-stir, the eggs just about ready to be poured into their skillet. Things were actually going quite smooth in his opinion. That’s when it happened, the pain instinctively causing him to drop both the bowl and spoon to the ground, glass and yellow liquid splashing in every direction. At about the same time plumes of smoke started to rise from the now blackened bacon that had been cooking at far too high of a temperature.

That was the scene a still half asleep Harry walked into. He was rounding the corner, eyes still bleary and hair still messy from waking up just moments before when he spotted Louis amongst the chaos all around him. It was almost as if the world stopped just so he could take it all in because as his eyes passed from the smoke and the mess and the food and finally up to Louis’ face, nothing seemed to move. He took in Louis’ bare feet, his pajamas stained with egg, and the panic stricken look that had settled upon his face. There was a little red spot forming on his left arm just above his elbow and a few grease stains on the sleeve of his thin white t-shirt. And just like that Harry put it all together.

Without a second thought he disappeared only to reappear moments later wearing his shoes and carrying a pair for Louis. Glass crunched beneath his feet as he made his way across the room to the spot that the other boy still hadn’t moved from.

“Louis?”

That voice jolted him from whatever state he had been stuck in and he looked up to see a boy that very well looked like an angel.

“Louis I need you to put these shoes on before you get hurt.”

He had to be an angel.

So Louis reached out and took the shoes, bending over to put them on while Harry quickly turned off the stove and moved the bacon.

“Where do you keep your cleaning supplies?”

Louis simply pointed to a cabinet across the kitchen. What was wrong with him? He physically couldn’t bring himself to speak.

That didn’t seem to bother Harry who was grabbing the now mute boy’s wrist and leading him carefully out of the kitchen to the couch in the living room.

“I’m going to clean up real quick and I’ll be right back. Just stay here—okay?”

“Harry?”

It was a miracle. He could speak after all.

Harry spun around, eyes connecting with the person who had just said his name. He almost didn’t look away, he didn’t want to look away, but habits got the best of him and his eyes found the floor.

“I just wanted to cook you breakfast. I’m really sorry.”

“S’no problem. You should’ve seen the first time I tried to cook.”

Harry had never had a problem cooking but he felt a little lie wasn’t going to hurt anyone, if anything it would do the exact opposite.

“Wait—how did you know this was the first time I’ve tried to cook?”

But he didn’t get an answer because Harry was already out of sight, leaving him sitting there with a dumb smile and stained pajamas.

He didn’t move from the couch until Harry retrieved him and practically drug him into the kitchen. The smell of smoke had been replaced by vanilla, wafting from the candle on the table complete with two plates. Scrambled eggs and bacon that looked perfect enough to be on the front of a package sat on each one waiting. The dishes had all been washed and put away and the floor and cabinets had all been scrubbed clean. It looked as if the tornado named Louis had never made his way through.

“Well if I didn’t feel stupid enough already I do now.”

Louis knew he shouldn’t have said it. He knew how it would affect the other boy who had just put so much work into cleaning up after him. But to his surprise Harry’s next action wasn’t lowering his head or frowning. He actually started to laugh instead, his eyes squeezed shut, hands clutching his chest as he doubled over and ended up sitting on the floor in hysterics.

“You.” Laughter. “Cant.” More laughter. “Cook.”

“And you clearly can. Now if you’re done laughing at me do you mind if we eat?”

He was smirking and offered Harry a hand, pulling him up so they could both take a seat at the table. Needless to say there was a lot more grinning than eating that morning.

They were both sitting on the couch after finishing off their meal, a morning talk show playing in the background, when Louis felt the need to voice his opinion.

“Delicious Harry. Absolutely delicious!”

“What?”

Harry asked, looking like he was genuinely confused as to what was delicious.

“Breakfast of course! What else would I be talking about?”

“Really?”

He was blushing now. Of all the times he had cooked for his father, not once had he complimented him, much less even said thank you. This was weird. Things like this didn’t happen to him.

“Yes really! You’re an excellent cook! Now not that this topic isn’t captivating but what are our plans for the rest of the day?”

Rest of the day? Their twenty four hours was almost up. There was no rest of the day. Harry would go home and lock himself away to read a book he had already read countless times, until his father got home, and then he would spend the rest of the night taking care of him. Meanwhile Louis would most likely be having loads of fun doing whatever it was he decided to do, because his life was perfect and he was…well he was Louis.

“Our twenty four hours is up. Aren’t you ready to get rid of me by now?”

There wasn’t a hint of joking in the boys voice and it utterly broke Louis’ heart. He was sitting there looking at this boy that he wanted to spend every second with, this boy that somehow had gotten the idea that he wanted to get rid of him.

“Harry look at me.”

Silence.

“If you’re not going to look at me I’m going to force you.”

So he did. And it was one of the best decisions of his life thus far. Slowly he reached out, skin almost touching skin, before stopping his hand for just a fraction of a second to judge Harry’s reaction. He was scared. That was for sure. But so was Louis, and there was no turning back now. His fingertips hit first, right under Harry’s chin, and traveled back just a bit until his palm was cupping his jaw. He could feel every muscle, every twitch, every breath. Using the least amount of force necessary he gently lifted upward until those green eyes were staring into his, and any doubts quickly faded before words were even spoken

“No I am not by any means ready to get rid of you. I was planning on keeping you.”

Louis could’ve sworn that something lit up in those eyes that hadn’t left his yet. A little spark that only lasted a second but burnt brighter then it had ever before none the less. He seriously though about kissing him in that moment. It wouldn’t have been hard. But the logical side of his brain decided to step up and convince him that it probably wouldn’t end well. So instead he held his gaze for just a few more seconds and then pulled his hand away from the face it felt like it was meant to hold.

“I just don’t want you to feel like you—like you have to hang out with me.”

Now matter how many times Harry tried to convince himself that Louis might really want to be friends with him it never worked. He was always able to come up with some ulterior motive or reason why that couldn’t possibly be true.

“What if I want to? What if I want to hang out with you and go on pointless car rides and take you to parties and tell you all my secrets?”

Maybe he went a little overboard with the parties and secret talk but at least he was being honest for once. He gave himself that one.

“I think I might be okay with that.”

Louis wasn’t expecting a response that quick, if any at all. It was all he needed.

“Then boy do we have a lot to do today!”

Several hours later they had finally managed to shower, get dressed, and escape after eating another breakfast that Louis’ mom had insisted they stay for. Currently they were sitting in Louis’ car in the driveway, unsure of where to go. Harry was wearing a pair of Louis’ sweatpants and a different hunter green hoodie that he only accepted after he was convinced it was because his clothes needed to be washed after cleaning up all the mess from earlier. And Louis had pouted his lip like a small child and said please in the cutest voice he could muster, which also helped.

“Close your eyes.”

Despite how his last silly idea had ended, Louis couldn’t help giving it another shot.

“Why?”

Harry asked worriedly, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Just do it. Don’t ask questions or you’ll ruin it.”

So of course he listened, sitting with his eyes scrunched closed and not saying a word. Inside his head did not appear as calm, as he felt the car start to back out of the driveway.

“Where are we going?”

 _Damn it Harry you were supposed to be quiet._ But he couldn’t help himself.

“I’ll let this one slide but I said no questions and I am a man of my word. So shush.”

And this time Harry really listened. He sat back, leaning his head against the headrest, and tried to imagine where in the world Louis could possibly be taking him. He could feel every turn, every time they sped up or slowed down, every time Louis took a corner too quickly. Having his eyes closed gave him this heightened sense of everything going on around him and he liked it.

“We’re here! But no peeking yet.”

He heard the door open and close, then silence, before his own door was pulled open and a burst of cool air hit him in the face. A pair of warm hands found their way to his arm and hoisted him out of his seat, and as much as he wanted to peek he didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

“Just keep them closed. I’ve got you.”

Those god damn warm hands, one now on the small of his back, the other clutching his upper arm. He was pretty sure he had died at this point. There was no way this was happening.

The feeling of one of his feet colliding into something assured him that he was definitely alive. Pain still existed.

“Shit…shit sorry! I didn’t see that. No I did. I’m just an idiot. Are you okay?”

Louis was rambling. Harry was peeking.

He cracked one eye open just a sliver and spotted the object that had caused all of this, a curb, that Louis had forgotten the boy he had in tow couldn’t see.

“You’re peeking!”

“Was not!”

Harry was shaking his head back and forth, curls bouncing.

“I saw you. You’ve ruined it now. Might as well go home.”

Louis was teasing and Harry was going to play along.

“Nooo! We’ve only just got here. I didn’t see anything. Just a curb. I promise.”

Maybe it was the begging. Maybe it was the playful whine. Maybe it was just Harry in general. But Louis knew in that moment he’d never be able to say no to that boy.

“Well get moving then. Better get inside.”

“Can I open my eyes yet?”

_If I can still lead you in._

“If you must.”

Louis muttered, stepping back a few feet to ensure he’d keep his hands to himself.

It took Harry a few seconds to adjust to his new found vision before his eyes landed on the little bookstore in front of him. It sat nestled in between a few other shops, old, paint chipping, shudders slanted, but perfect in every way. Letters were missing from the sign above the door, so it read Th Missng Pge in what once must have been gold, but now was dull and faded brown. There were two windows, one on each side of the door, stuffed with books of every size and shape so you couldn’t even see inside. It honestly looked like something out of a movie. That was becoming a common theme when he was around Louis.

“Can we go inside?”

Harry’s eyes were wide, he stood there staring in awe as he asked.

To Louis it reminded him of the day he had taken Daisy and Phoebe to town with him for the first time. They stood outside the door of a candy shop looking just as dumbstruck as Harry, before looking up at Louis and asking if they could go inside. He couldn’t say no. In fact he ended up buying them four bags of candy each because he couldn’t say no. And they giggled and ate their candy the entire way home, even giving Louis a few pieces after he was told to “ask nicely”. That had been a good day. Why did he quit doing things like that?

“Of course we can go inside. We didn’t come just to look at it.”

And just like that Harry was inside, Louis trailing behind.

The scent of books was the first thing that hit him when he pulled the heavy wooden door open. Not new books either, new book smell was nothing compared to this. It was something much different, worn and used and homey. It was perfect. He must have looked pathetic really, as his eyes traveled around the room to everything he could explore and touch and read. If only he had known how as he was taking in his surroundings, Louis was only taking in him, in fact Louis hadn’t looked at anything since they’d entered the shop but Harry. It was an incredible feeling to see the boy so happy and to know he was the one to have caused it.

“Want a present?”

Harry spun around, confusion etching its way onto his face.

“This is a present.”

“This was the surprise. And now that we’re here you must pick a present. Anything you like.”

Things were going quite well for this all being planned at the last minute. Louis would never tell but when they’d left the house he wasn’t even sure where they were going to go.

“Anything?”

Harry asked, unsure.

“Anything.”

That was how they found themselves driving home with a backseat full of books, Harry curled up in his seat reading while Louis listened to the radio on the lowest volume he could manage to hear. When the car unexpectedly stopped Harry looked up to discover they were parked in front of a restaurant near their school.

“Hungry?”

Louis asked, looking over at the beautiful creature sitting right next to him, in his car. He wondered how he had managed to pull this off.

“I don’t have any money. And yo—you just paid for all those books.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

He briefly considered going into more detail but decided the best course of action would be to just get out and go into the restaurant. The boy would have to follow.

He was right of course, Harry behind him just seconds later, following him inside.

“Two please.”

Louis told the waitress before she led them to a booth near the back.

“What can I get you guys to drink?”

They were both seated on opposite sides of the table, Harry looking around uncomfortably. He’d never ate in a restaurant before.

“Water please. Harry what about you?”

“Water.”

Harry managed to answer as he noticed various classmates scattered at their own tables and booths around the room. What would they think when they saw him here with Louis? They were probably talking about him at this exact second, whispering to their friends and pointing while his back was turned. He needed to get out. He couldn’t do this.

“Harry?”

“Yea—yeah?”

In his minor panic he had forgotten that Louis was the one who had brought him here.

“You okay?”

He was about to lie. He knew how to lie to himself; he did it everyday. Lying to the worried boy watching his every move posed a problem though. Those blue eyes that only showed concern, those hands that were itching to reach out and grab his, that fucking windswept hair that was so damn perfect, he just couldn’t do it. He didn’t stand a chance.

“No.”

His voice broke but he kept going.

“There’s people from school here. And they’re looking at us. I—I just want them to stop looking.”

“Harry nobodies look—“

“Yes they are. They always are. And—and—“

Harry knew how stupid it was going to sound but he had to say it.

“I don’t know what to order. Hell I don’t even know how to order. I’ve never done this before Louis.”

Louis was stuck between how attractive it had been when Harry said hell and trying to process the fact that he’d never been out to eat before.

“Do you trust me?”

“Not really.”

Why did he say that? Why couldn’t he lie? Everything was so much easier to deal with when he lied.

“Can you trust me just this once?”

Harry nodded.

When the waitress returned Louis ordered for both of them, getting them each a burger and fries. He couldn’t help but notice Harry still glancing around the room every couple of seconds, and constantly pushing his hair out of his eyes.

“You look fine.”

Harry hadn’t realized he was being that obvious. He didn’t say anything because to be honest he didn’t know what to say, and Louis didn’t push the issue any farther. So they waited on their food in silence, but it was a comfortable silence, like they had been friends for years and were just enjoying each other’s company.

They ate in exactly the same way, nothing needing to be said. When they were finished Louis paid and Harry politely thanked him as they walked to the car. Louis held the door open for him again and Harry smiled like a little kid the entire car ride back.

“I should really let you get home. I’ve kept you far too long already.”

They were sitting in Louis’ driveway, the sun low in the sky behind them casting oranges and pinks and yellows across the cloudy horizon The wind was starting to pick up, making the temperature drop dramatically, and as much as they both wanted to sit in the warm car together a little longer they knew their time together was coming to an end.

“Do you live close or did you want me to drive you?”

There was no way Harry was letting him see where he lived. It might scare the boy away, and at this point he didn’t know if he could deal with that.

“It’s okay. I can walk.”

He could walk, he always walked, but tonight he didn’t want to.

“Are you sure? It really isn’t a big deal.”

“I guess a ride wouldn’t hurt.”

Just like that he gave in. So they drove, Harry giving directions, until they were parked outside of a cute little house just down the street from Harry’s.

“This is it.”

Even though it wasn’t.

“Goodnight Harry. I’ll see you at school Monday.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you at school.”

The tension in the car was overwhelming. It was pouring out of every crack, seeping through the doors, practically begging for someone to do something.

“Would it be weird if I hugged you?”

_Louis you are officially a loser. People don’t ask to hug people._

“Umm, I s’pose that’d be okay. Yeah.”

Maybe Harry didn’t think he was a loser for asking for a hug, because he did in fact agree. Louis leaned in first, going slow to give Harry time to react. It felt like everything was slowing down. Harry could feel each beat of his heart and every voice in his head yelling no, but he did it anyway.

It began as a rather awkward hug, limbs clumsy and not lining up like they should. Louis got tangled in a handful of hair as he attempted to pull Harry closer. Harry’s arms were folded across his chest before he nervously let them find their way to Louis’ waist. Once they broke through all the nerves and anticipation it turned out okay, bundled together for longer then was probably necessary. It was a hug full of hair tickling faces, hot breath on tingling necks, and steady breathing that seemed to match up perfectly. Harry let his hands relax and his eyes fall closed, taking in every twitch and pull of the muscles in Louis’ back like his life depended on it.

When they separated, after what seemed like much longer then it actually was, neither boy could find words. So Harry smiled that smile, which was better then anything he could’ve said, while Louis helped him gather all his books from the backseat. After another much shorter and less monumental hug they waved goodbye and just like that Harry was alone. Standing outside of a house that wasn’t his, with a full stomach, an arm full of books, and a heart that was happier then it had ever been before.


	10. (Sun.) The Country Mouse and the Town Mouse

His eyes refused to open and his head was heavy with dreams when he heard the knocking on the front door the next morning. The first thought that rolled through his head was to let whoever it was suffer, they had woken him up in fact. But as he lay there, the thuds resounding off his thin walls showed no sign of stopping and he decided to be the bigger person and just answer it.

“I’ll be out in a second!”

He didn’t bother changing out of the hoodie and black boxers he had fell asleep in, it was probably just his father anyway. He was known to lose his keys every so often with no recollection of where they even could be. Once Harry found him passed out in the driveway and they had to search nearby towns for two days for his truck, which had the keys still stuck in the ignition. So when he opened the door and it wasn’t an angry, tired old man but a breathtaking boy with gleaming eyes he felt like he just might faint. And then he looked down out of pure habit and realized he was in his boxers. The last thing he remembered before everything went black were those blue eyes, tanned arms around him, and someone telling him it would all be okay. And he believed them because, well how could he not?

Louis wasn’t quite sure how he had ended up at Harry’s house, much less how he now had the boy curled up and asleep next to him on the couch. It had started out as such a simple idea when he found a lone book in the front seat of his car after dropping Harry off. He couldve turned around and took it back right then. He could’ve waited until Monday and given it to him at school. Or he could use it as an excuse to see Harry the next day. He ended up convincing himself that the third option was the most logical and set an alarm for eight the next morning. The earlier he got there, the more time he got to spend with the boy. Logical.

He found the house he’d dropped Harry off at quickly, but when a woman with hair the color of the sky right before a storm and wrinkles etched into her skin came to the door, he wondered if he’d made a mistake.

“Good morning ma’am. Does a Harry Styles live here? Tall kid, curly hair?”

He watched her face scrunch up before a smile crept across her mouth.

“I think he lives a couple houses down sweetheart. Always walking right? Brown hair, lanky boy isn’t he?”

Louis laughed. It was true.

“Yes ma’am.”

She nodded and pointed down the street.

“324 if I remember right.”

“Thank you so much.”

And he didn’t even give it a second thought. He was back in his car and parked in the driveway of 324 Elm Street within thirty seconds.

If Louis would’ve been there to see any other boy he would’ve noticed the run down trailer. He would’ve saw the cream colored sheets dotted with little pink flowers slung up as a substitute for curtains. He would’ve saw the crooked stairs and torn screens on all the windows. He would’ve saw that the place was literally falling apart. But he wasn’t there to see any other boy. Everything around him appeared fuzzy and dull because Harry was right inside those walls. So he knocked.

He stood there clutching the book in one hand, almost hoping that he would wake the boy up, so he could see if he was one of those adorable tired people. He had a feeling he would be, all wide glossy eyes and messy hair. The situation was looking quite promising in fact, considering no one had come to the door yet. He had to be asleep. Louis wasn’t one to give up either.

A couple of minutes and a lot of knocking later he heard something rustling around followed by a click. The door was pulled open to reveal a very sleepy Harry wearing just a hoodie and rather tight boxers. Quite promising indeed. But before he could even mutter a hello, the curly haired boy’s body went limp and Louis was rushing to catch him before he crashed to the floor.

He dropped the book because lets be honest, it really had just been his way to get in the door anyway. Now that he had managed to get his arms firmly wrapped around Harry’s midsection and was holding up his full weight he didn’t think he needed an excuse to come in. So as gently as he could he drug the boy, for lack of a better word, into the house. He spotted the sofa against the nearest wall and struggled to get Harry into a comfortable position atop the sunken in cushions. How often did you have to carry people around that weren’t conscious after all? And after he had finally thought he’d managed to get him in a position that wasn’t half bad, Harry’s head started to loll to the side. The new found weight in one direction slowly pulled the rest of him down, traveling through his neck to his chest and finally his torso until his upper body was horizontal but his lower half remained where it had started. He didn’t even flinch, his breathing steady and eyes closed peacefully as he came into contact with the fabric that couldn’t possibly have had much cushioning.

Louis needed a Plan B. That plan soon came in the form of him using himself to support Harry so he wouldn’t topple over again. Okay maybe he was a little more then just support. Maybe he had the boy so close to him that every inch of his body felt like it was on fire. Maybe he had nestled Harry’s head on his chest so he could smell the way his hair had lingering traces of shampoo, overpowered by sleep and sweat and a smell that he almost recognized as _himself_. He liked that thought. For some reason knowing that he had left something with Harry, even if it just was remnants of his cologne, made his stomach feel strange. He’d left many things with the boys he’d been with before, as they had left things with him. Bruises from rough kisses, scratches that lingered for days, pain that kept memories alive for hours afterward. Those things had made him feel good of course, but no where near how he was feeling at the moment. And it didn’t make any sense to him but he wasn’t going to fight it, not when he could stare all he wanted at the boy asleep on him anyways.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, it could’ve been days for all he knew, his brain was elsewhere at the moment. In fact it was in the middle of a particularly embarrassing scenario in which he tried to kiss Harry when he woke up only to be interrupted by Harry actually waking up.

Oh the irony.

Louis felt him move first, a twitch so miniscule he wasn’t even sure how he felt it. Harry lifted his head just slightly and blinked slowly, carefully, several times before his eyes found Louis’ and realization settled in them. There was no way he was letting him look away this time.

“Haz?”

“mhm?”

He hadn’t moved yet.

“You okay?”

His eyes were doing this thing, each blink still drawn out, focus clearly not back. Yet Louis could see the color changing from a light, faded green to the dark emerald he was used to. His pupils were shrinking by the second and life was flooding in. He was watching him wake up. And fuck, if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen he’d be lying. He could get used to this.

“I could get used to this y’know.”

_Shit you’re not supposed to actually tell him._

The damage was done. The words had already left his mouth and since there was no taking it back or explaining it away he decided he had nothing to lose.

Harry was still half asleep when it happened. His eyes hadn’t left Louis’ face, which he blamed on his current drowsy state, but maybe he really just liked looking at the other boy. When Louis reached up and cupped his cheek in his hand he didn’t pull away. He was pretty sure he had recently passed out after all, but maybe that warm palm on his face made him feel like the most important person in the world. And when Louis was suddenly much, much closer to him, he pretended he didn’t notice how his heart was beating far too fast for someone that had just woken up. It wasn’t until he felt something soft and warm collide with his lips that he realized what was happening. He was being kissed. By a boy. A cute boy. A cute boy that he was starting to admit to himself that he liked very much. When did this become something that happened to him?

It only lasted a few seconds though, just a quick peck that left them both blushing and turning away. Harry felt like he was going to pass out again, his head was spinning and his lips felt like they had just been stuck all over with a million needles. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t bring himself to speak, and even if he could he wasn’t sure if he could form a coherent sentence at this point. Which is why he was so shocked when he managed to mumble something out.

“m’Lou?”

“Yes Harry?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

The words were quiet, filled with shame and embarrassment. Harry pushed the hair from his eyes and quickly glanced at Louis, trying to gauge his reaction.

He wasn’t smirking or laughing like he imagined he would be. He was focused, eyes traveling between Harry’s eyes and lips quickly. And Louis didn’t have a clue what to say so he kissed him again.

He would show him exactly how he felt. When their lips connected again he held still, trying to give Harry time to relax, before slowly moving his hand up around to the back of his head. His fingers pulled gently at the curls at the nape of the boy’s neck, relishing in the way he felt Harry’s entire body shiver at the simple touch that most of the boys he’d been with didn’t even flinch at. It must’ve provoked something because despite his lack of experience, Harry was the one who pulled Louis closer, tugging him by the waist before he even realized what he was doing. He didn’t even know how to properly kiss someone but he wasn’t going to screw this up.

“You’re smiling? Why are you smiling?”

Harry pulled away a few seconds later when he felt the muscles in Louis’ mouth curve upward into a small smile. He knew he shouldn’t have done this. Why had he done this. People smile before they laugh. Louis was about to laugh at him.

“Because that was quite possibly the best kiss of my life.”

And he wasn’t lying. Over the years he had kissed a lot of people. Sara was the first. They were both seven, hiding under his bed for whatever reason when she kissed him. She had long curly blonde hair and tasted like peaches. That was when he realized he didn’t like girls. When he was twelve he met Tyler. He moved in next door and they played football in the backyard everyday after school. Tyler was two years older then him but the day he tackled him and planted kisses all over a stunned Louis’ face was the day he realized he liked boys. Adam came along when he was fourteen and stupid. He knew all the right things to say and Louis was dumb enough to believe every word. Kissing Adam wasn’t like what he was expecting these things to feel like. There were no sparks, no uncontrollable need to be closer, no mumbled “I love yous”. To be quite honest it was simple and boring. That pattern continued for years. A string of boys that were just good enough to keep around for a couple weeks, if that, because there really wasn’t anything worth keeping to begin with.

This was different. Harry was different.

Louis was flustered, and he’d never been flustered before. Is this what kissing was supposed to feel like? There were butterflies in his stomach and his head and his veins. His whole body was being taken over by tiny winged creatures that only knew how to say Harry’s name and make him feel like he was going to break into millions of little pieces just thinking of those lips on his.

“Well I can tell you with complete certainty it was the best kiss I’ve ever had.”

That little shit was smirking.

“It was the only kiss you’ve ever had!”

When Louis playfully pushed him back, he didn’t think the other boy was going to take it a step further and end up flopping down on his back, curls spreading across the couch, hands clasped together resting on his stomach.

“That’s why I said I was completely certain!”

His hoodie was riding up just a little bit from falling back, exposing the smallest bit of pale, smooth skin. To Louis it was practically an invitation to crawl on top of the boy and make himself at home. So he did.

“So that was really your first kiss?”

He was on all fours now, studying every inch of Harry’s face right beneath him.

“You don’t have to rub it in. I’m actually quite embarrassed if you couldn’t tell.”

Harry didn’t know why it was so fun to mess with Louis, but to be honest he didn’t know a lot of things at this point. He didn’t know why he had kissed a boy. He didn’t know why he wasn’t beat red and panicking that there was a boy practically straddling him. He didn’t know why he grabbed Louis’ hips and pulled him down, so there was absolutely no space separating them anymore. Actually he did know, but he wasn’t going to admit it to himself, yet alone anyone else.

“I had no idea to be honest. When people are embarrassed they usually don’t put themselves in situations like this.”

Louis gestured to their current position that Harry had in fact caused.

“Situations like what?”

A pair of hands much larger then his own, intertwined their fingers together, and if he thought they couldn’t get any closer he was wrong.

Louis was speechless.

“Situations.”

Harry reached up and kissed him softly, lingering just a fraction of a second, lips barely brushing together.

“Like.”

The second kiss was longer. Harry drug his lips over Louis’, still slow, cautious, but with at least some sort of idea as to what he was supposed to do now.

“This?”

Finally.

The last thing Louis saw before Harry took over his mind was that smirk and those dimples. God those dimples.

He was being kissed like people were supposed to be kissed. Nothing else existed in that moment. There were no problems or worries or fears. There was no house next door or kids playing in the street. All he could think about was how sexy Harry’s swollen red lips looked each time they broke apart to take a couple breaths. All he could feel was warmth and the steady rise and fall beneath him and shit—did that beautiful angel just bite his bottom lip?

“Did you just bite me?”

“Might’ve”

Harry mumbled, face pressed against Louis’ cheek, where he left a small kiss, before shifting around and somehow wiggling out from beneath the boy.

“Be right back.”

His legs were shaking as soon as he hit the bathroom. Locking himself inside, he slide down the door until he was sitting on the cold supposed-to-be-white tiles beneath him. What had just happened? It wasn’t even lunch time yet on a Sunday and he’d already had his first kiss, on the couch his drunk father slept on, with a boy that shouldn’t even be giving him the time of day. And to top it all off he had felt so in control, so brave, so alive. Up until the point everything that was happening hit him in the face and he had to take a moment and compose himself. That was how he ended up in the bathroom of course.

It didn’t take long for the shaking to stop. Within a few minutes he felt ready to venture back out, even though now that his rush was gone he had no idea what to say or do. He was stuck between hoping Louis had left and wishing he was still there. His wish came true.

He was upright now, sitting on the couch messing with his phone. When he heard Harry his head immediately popped up and he slide the phone back into his pocket.

“You okay Haz?”

If he wasn’t okay before, he definitely was now. Louis called him Haz. That’s a nickname. Nicknames are personal. No one had ever given him a nickname before.

_Don’t pass out Harry. Don’t pass out._

“Yea—yeah. Just had to use the bathroom.”

Louis was staring at him like he was holding a winning lottery ticket or had just saved a baby from a burning building. Suddenly he was on his feet, bouncing up and down because he was too excited to hold still any longer.

“Show me your room?”

And he wasn’t even trying to get Harry in bed. He found himself unable to stop thinking about where the boy slept alone every night and what he had on his walls and if he was an organized or a messy person. He was leaning towards messy.

“Do I have to?”

Fear. That was the only emotion Harry seemed to have at the moment. It had snuck its way back and overtook him completely within seconds of hearing that question. He didn’t even know why he was so afraid, after all Louis was in his house, so would seeing his room really change anything? But something deep down kept screaming yes, kept telling him that he wasn’t good enough. And even if it wasn’t his room that scared Louis away, it would eventually be something. Harry had too many flaws.

“No. But I wish you would.”

Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t going to push the issue or beg him, that made Harry turn around and head down the hallway, motioning for Louis to follow.

“It’s nothing special.”

Head down, he pushed the door, littered with dents and dings, open and stepped inside. He didn’t want to see Louis’ reaction.

He should’ve been paying attention. He would’ve seen the way the boy’s eyes bounced around, studying each and every possession Harry owned like he wanted to memorize exactly how it looked. He saw the mattress on the floor, a white and green quilt tossed next to a worn pillow that he had the strange urge to steal. Stealing pillows so he could fall asleep to the scent of a curly haired boy, what was he doing with his life?

_Maybe I’m falling in love._

He couldn’t stand the way Harry looked so unsure, so absolutely terrified. Which was mainly why he decided to grab him and use all his force to tackle him onto the mattress. He also really just wanted to touch him again.

“Are you mad? I could’ve broke my neck!”

Harry was smooshed beneath him, smiling like an idiot. Louis gave himself a pat on the back in his head for a well executed plan.

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Sure you do.”

“Plus I have a strict no neck breaking policy.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Better be. I would never lie about something so serious.”

Harry laughed, closing his eyes and turning his head so it was laying against the mattress.

“I like your laugh.”

His cheeks flushed pink at Louis’ words but he didn’t move or open his eyes. He might’ve been smiling but in all the commotion his hood had ended up on his head, masking most of his face so Louis couldn’t tell.

“Thank you.”

Harry whispered before breathing in deeply and letting out a sigh.

Louis took it as a cue and pushed himself off the boy, moving to sit with his back against the wall and feet wrapped beneath him. Harry didn’t move.

“Which one are you reading right now?”

There were books everywhere, some Louis recognized from the day before, others seemed to have been there awhile. They were stacked and piled, some throw in corners, others set up neatly, which made him wonder if there was some sort of order to all the madness.

“This one.”

Harry shot up and pulled a black hardcover book from beneath the quilt.

“It’s called The Moral Compass. It’s full of these little stories and poems and such. Want me to read you my favorite?”

Louis nodded.

“This is The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse. I’ll read the little summary thing first. We sometimes tell ourselves that other peoples lives are easier than our own. The truth is that every life has its share of hard knocks; as Ishmael notes in Moby Dick, “The universal thump is passed around.” Giving thanks for your own blessings is usually more productive than longing for someone else’s life. This tale is a widely loved fable from Aesop. You still listening?”

“I’ll always be listening.”

Harry grinned bigger then Louis thought was humanly possible and started reading again.

“Once a little mouse who lived in the country invited a little mouse from town to visit him. When the little town mouse sat down to dinner he was surprised to find that the country mouse had nothing to eat except barley and grain. “Really,” he said, “you do not live well at all. You should see how I live! I have all sorts of fine things to eat every day. You must come visit me and see how nice it is to live in the town.” The little country mouse was glad to do this, and after a while he went to town to visit his friend. The very first place that the town mouse took the country mouse to see was the kitchen cupboard of the house where he lived. There, on the lowest shelf, behind some stone jars, stood a big paper bag of brown sugar. The little town mouse gnawed a hole in the bag and invited his friend to nibble for himself. The two little mice nibbled and nibbled, and the country mouse thought he had never tasted anything so delicious in his life. He was just thinking how lucky the town mouse was, when suddenly the door opened with a bang, and in came the cook to get some flour. Ugh I’m losing my breath.”

“Come here.”

Louis was holding his arm out, inviting him to sit next to him, practically begging with those blue eyes. He realized this was one of those pivotal moments where what happened next would determine their entire future. Okay maybe not their _entire_ future, but it sure did feel like something big was happening.

He crawled over, clumsily, because he was trying to keep his balance with the book in one hand. When he got to Louis he snuggled up next to him and continued with how the town mouse lived in fear even though he got to eat all of the delicious food, which led the country mouse to decide he would rather have his simple grain and barley and live in peace.

Louis didn’t know the other boy picked that story because he identified with the country mouse, content to live his simple but safe life. Harry didn’t know that Louis realized he was the town mouse, doing things he thought would make him happy with no regards to the consequences.

The funny thing was that those things were already beginning to change, even though they didn’t realize it. Because Harry could’ve spent his day reading by himself like he always did. Instead, he was falling asleep with a boy in his bed, after talking more then he had in a long time. Louis could’ve been drinking or smoking or at a party or having sex with, well anyone. But instead he was just cuddling with a boy, and wishing he could listen to his voice forever.


	11. (Mon.-Thur.) In which Harry comes out of his shell

Mornings were something Louis tended to avoid sharing with people. After the first couple times he woke up next to a guy he couldn’t even remember fucking he made a pledge to himself that sleeping with someone and then _sleeping with them_ wasn’t an option for him. He didn’t like the closeness, the intimacy of it all, because it made him feel like he owed something to the body sleeping soundly next to him, unaware that they would wake up alone. Sometimes he even thought about staying, taking them out to breakfast, or at the very least leaving a note. But that was in the beginning and he never acted on those thoughts. Eventually to solve the problem all together he started formulating excuses he could use to get out before he even had to think about falling asleep. His favorite nights were when he didn’t have to use an excuse at all. Fate seemed to be on his side occasionally, and fate definitely had a sense of humor.

The first time it happened he was slumped next to some kid from the football team in the backseat of his car. They were both drunk and sweaty, coming down from their highs together. The kid was clinging to him, whispering shit in his ear he can't even remember anymore, something about wanting to cuddle probably. And if there was one thing Louis Tomlinson refused to do, it was cuddle. Just thinking about it turned him into a bundle of nerves, trying desperately to make up something believable to get him out of this mess. That's when his phone started ringing. He had to dig around for his pants before finding them on the floorboard and pulling the buzzing lifesaver from his pocket.

“Oh hi mom!” He practically shouted with excitement, turning and mouthing a sorry to the boy whose name he couldn’t even remember.

“Yeah. Yeah. Of course I didn’t forget.”

She was a miracle worker and she didn’t even know it.

“I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Yes mom. Okay mom. Love you too. Bye.”

He had completely forgotten he was supposed to meet his parents to see a movie. The plan had originally been to skip it anyway but now it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. It beat cuddling for sure, even if he did have to spend unnecessary time with his family.

“Family movie night. Promised I'd go. Sorry to run out on ya man.”

His pants were already back on, followed quickly by his shirt and shoes. He didn’t mean to seem eager to leave but, well, he was.

“No problem. I understand mate. So you’ll text me then?”

It was far too easy to lie to the gullible kid that would undoubtedly be hurt many more times in the future. Louis not texting him wouldn’t be the worst he'd have to deal with.

“Of course.”

So he plastered a fake smile to his face and when the kid leaned in to kiss him goodbye he made it quick, painless.

It'd be a lie if he said he felt bad.

So when he woke up on Monday morning with a very clingy curly haired boy asleep next to him experience told him to run.

Something else told him to stay.

Something else won.

After fishing his phone off the floor and bringing it to life he realized it was only six thirty in the morning, the screen shining bright in the dimly lit room. He would’ve been able to fall back asleep had he not got distracted.

It was too easy to get caught up in Harry's steady heartbeat and soft breaths and warm fucking skin. Why had he never realized how nice it felt to have someone so warm pressed against him, not wanting anything but his touch. Not needing anything from him but his presence. This boy had trusted him enough to be his first kiss, enough to fall asleep with him. How could he possibly run away from that? And it didn’t help that he looked so cute that Louis just had to touch him, ghosting his fingertips across Harry's wrist and inspecting his fingertips like they held the answer to life deep in their tiny ridges. He couldn’t help himself when he ended up wrapping his arm around the boy and pulling him closer, heart soaring when Harry nuzzled into his chest like they had been doing this for years, making a satisfied little sigh.

Fuck he really liked cuddling.

Or maybe he just really liked Harry.

He liked cuddling with Harry.

He was gently pushing back curls and pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead, because he had no self control and needed another excuse to touch him, when the boy woke up. It was exactly the same as the day before, but somehow even more beautiful because this time Harry's eyes flooded with recognition and something else that Louis just couldn’t quite figure out.

“Morning,” Louis whispered, not wanting to change the energy trapped in the room by speaking too loudly.

Harry made another satisfied noise in response, this one sounding more like hum, and turned so his eyes made contact with the boy holding him.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re awfully cute when you’re sleepy?” Louis asked, his hand buried in those curls, massaging Harry's head.

“Can't say they have.”

Harry's speech was slow and careful, each syllable drug out, trying to get used to talking so early in the morning while fighting to not fall back asleep. Maybe he wasn’t even awake though. Maybe he was dreaming. That would explain a lot actually. So he decided that dream or not he wanted to be able to remember this, remember the words that were making his head spin, the heat he was curled into, and the eyes that he knew were glued to him.

“Hazza?”

His eyes snapped open, even though he couldn’t remember them ever closing.

“Yeah?” He mumbled, his face pressed against Louis' chest.

“Nothing. Just seeing if you feel asleep on me.”

Harry smiled.

“Am I dreaming?”

His mind did strange things when he was half asleep.

“Why would you think that?” Louis asked curiously, cocking his head.

“Cos you’re here. You’re in my room.”

It reminded Louis of when his friends would get drunk, spewing their secrets out to anyone and everyone. He would take advantage of their vulnerability, asking things he knew they would never reveal any other time, filming them as evidence to use later on.

He didn’t want to take advantage of Harry. He shouldn’t take advantage of Harry.

But was it really that bad if he was doing it for the right reasons?

There would be no blackmail or embarrassment or videos posted on YouTube. No one would get hurt.

“If this was a dream what would you do?”

He should really work on his self control.

“Dunno. Probably kiss you. Did you know I kissed you yesterday? Like for real—not in a dream.”

Harry thought he was talking to Louis in his dreams.

Louis was definitely going to hell for this encouraging this.

“Did you now? And how was that?”

“Good.”

But the grin on his face said fantastic.

“Just good?”

“Could've been better I'spose.”

Harry didn’t have much self control either apparently because he burst into a fit of giggles, reaching up to cover his own mouth and quiet himself.

“You were awake the whole time weren’t you?”

A look of disbelief must've found its way to his face because Harry's giggles only continued.

He finally managed to nod his head yes, looking utterly pleased with himself.

“I will get you back for that. Mark my word Styles.”

Louis smirked and pulled Harry's face to his, placing a quick peck to his lips.

“Is that a promise then?”

Harry was blushing from the kiss, surprised he could manage words at all with the way his chest ached from laughing so hard.

“Sealed with a kiss and everything. Must be official.”

They ended up laying there until Louis looked at his phone again to check the time and realized they had to be at school soon. After a lot of protests and even more whining he finally managed to convince the curly haired boy that as much as he wanted to stay in bed with him forever, they did have a life to live. And school was a very important part of said life.

Harry didn’t try to hide the fact that he barely owned any clothes when he opened his closet to find something to wear. Louis pretended like he didn’t notice there were only a few hangers.

“Cover your eyes Lou!”

Of course he listened instantly, clasping his hands over his face and squeezing his eyes shut just in case he decided to peek.

Meanwhile the other boy stripped off his dirty clothes and replaced them with a pair of navy blue fleece pajama pants dotted with little light blue fish and a plain black t-shirt.

“Can open them now.”

“Thank god. I thought I was going to suffocate.”

He pretended to gasp for air, toppling over on his side and suddenly becoming very still.

“Drama queen. You can't suffocate from covering your eyes.”

“Course you can.”

Louis popped back up smirking.

“Ready to go or are you still dying?” Harry asked, throwing his backpack over his shoulder.

“I think I'm okay now. Thanks for the concern.”

Harry shook his head but he couldn’t help thinking it had been the best morning he'd ever had.

They stumbled into the living room moments later, neither one bothering to turn the lights on. Luckily his father wasn’t home, because he had been too distracted to even contemplate what would have happened if he had been there, glaring and red eyed and still drunk. It wouldn’t have been good, he could tell you that.

“Race you to the car!”

And Louis was sprinting out the front door before Harry could even respond, left alone with his thoughts. Thoughts of what could've very easily been a reality had his father been on that couch. There would’ve been screaming no doubt and the word faggot would’ve been throw around quite a bit, along with too many accusations and insults. After that there was no way in the world Louis would ever want to be with him, not when he saw for himself how screwed up his father was. There wasn’t much hope to begin with but that would be the final straw.

“Three, two, one...”

His trance was broken by none other than the boy on his mind, who had found his way back to the front porch, standing there with his hands on his hips and counting down like a maniac.

Harry forgot what he was even worrying about and made a run for the car.

And if Louis had purposely tripped on the gravel, giving the other boy the lead, he'd never tell.

It was actually unbelievable how quickly Harry came out of his shell after that, doing little things, things no one would’ve noticed if they weren’t paying close attention to his every move. To the one person paying the closest attention they seemed like huge things, magnificent things.

Their height difference was the first thing that jumped out at him, because up until that point Harry hadn’t seemed all that much taller. But as they walked through the school parking lot, so close their arms kept brushing against each other, he couldn’t help but realize the boy had either grown a couple inches overnight or was walking just a little bit prouder. He didn’t say anything, not wanting to ruin it, but he couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face.

Five minutes into their first class he jumped when he felt something tapping his arm. It was Harry of course, and when he mouthed “What?”, those green eyes were sparkling as he just shrugged his shoulders and passed him a folded up a piece of paper. Louis watched him out of the corner of his eye as he read. Harry was trying to look like he was focused on the PowerPoint on the screen, and to everyone else he probably did, but Louis caught him glancing over every couple of seconds in his direction. He scribbled back **_haha so you just noticed that too?_** in response to Harry's **_when did you get so short?:)_** and held the paper out. This time he made sure their fingers touched as he slid it into the other boy's hand.

Moments later the paper was flung at him, landing on his desk with a tiny thunk. **_Yeah don't know how I didn’t earlier. You’re tiny!_**

Louis had always been the smallest kid with the biggest personality in all of his classes growing up. He had to find something to make up for his lack of height and small frame so he turned to one of the only things he could control. When he was loud everyone paid attention to him. When he told jokes and made fun of people he gained friends. When he did stupid things to entertain his friends they cheered his name. He liked the attention and it made him forget about his insecurities, until he was alone of course. That was when his demons found their way out, eating at him until he was so upset with himself that he became angry with the rest of world.

**_Am not!! :(_ **

Thunk.

**_Sorry to burst you bubble but you kinda are. Don’t worry....I like it that way. Suits you._ **

Harry liked it. That's all he needed to hear.

He ended up just drawing what Harry thought might've been a smiling dog in response, but he wasn’t completely sure. Art was not high on his list of talents apparently.

On Tuesday they ate at an actual table in the cafeteria with the rest of the student population. Harry had suggested it that morning casually as they walked to class.

"So I was thinking we could try eating with everybody else today."

Louis wasn’t expecting that but he didn’t let it show.

“In the cafeteria?"

Okay maybe it showed just a little.

"Yeah? Unless there's somewhere else everyone eats that's being kept a secret."

"Well if there is they haven’t told me yet. Cafeteria's fine with me.”

That was when Harry's body noticeably tensed and his eyes found the ground for the first time in what seemed like forever, even though it hadn’t been more then a couple of days.

"Louis?”

“Yes Harry?” Louis asked, throwing an arm over his shoulders and giving him a little reassuring squeeze.

“Can we like—meet somewhere and go through the line together?”

Harry still wouldn’t look at him.

The anxiety he used to feel from walking into that lunch room alone and looking for somewhere to sit was overwhelming. Simply thinking about those days made him feel like he was reliving it a thousand times over, experiencing the stares and whispers and worry all over again. Sometimes he would watch his classmates and wonder why they got so lucky, when he just got left out. They connected with each other like it was as simple as breathing. Meanwhile he was the goldfish that had somehow managed to jump out of its tank, and lay suffocating, dying as they looked on.

If he was a dying goldfish, Louis must've been the kind hearted child that found him in the nick of time and plopped him back to safety.

"Of course! How about I'll wait right by the library for you?”

And that's right where he was when Harry got out of class, leaning against the wall and opening his arms for a hug when he saw the approaching boy. They went through the lunch line side by side, Louis buying Harry an extra cookie and “accidentally” holding his hand for just a fraction of a second to make him blush. They ate together at an empty table and if there were any stares or whispers Harry was too busy talking to Louis and laughing at the silly faces he kept making to notice.

Wednesday only added yet another ritual to their already growing list.

Louis happened to be on his way to school that morning when he decided driving ten minutes out of his way to pick up Harry really wasn’t a big deal. He found him just down the street from his trailer, staring up at the completely blue sky as he walked, breeze blowing back his hair. He almost missed a stop sign and crashed into a truck because he couldn’t pull his eyes away.

"Care for a ride?”

He had managed to pull over successfully and was leaning across into the passenger seat, shouting at Harry through the now open window.

"Uh—yeah. Yeah."

The boy pulled open the door and made himself comfortable in what Louis had just decided was _Harry's seat_. He didn’t even bother rolling his window back up, letting the cool wind sting his face as their speed increased.

 **_**_“_**_** Did you drive all the way over here just to pick me up?”

His eyes were closed now. In that moment he didn’t have a care in the world, life only consisting of fresh air and Louis' voice.

“Maybe.”

If Louis didn’t keep his eyes on the road their lives weren’t going to consist of much anything.

“I think you did.”

It was just so hard not to stare.

“You got me. I just couldn’t wait to see that face of yours!”

Harry bit Louis' finger when he reached out to try and squeeze his cheek like he was talking to a baby.

It wasn’t a hard bite, more of a nip actually, his teeth hitting Louis' first knuckle and tongue just barely flicking across his fingertip before letting go. He couldn’t have told you why he did it, but he wanted to do it again. The way Louis' face froze, pupils dilating just the tiniest bit, breath hitching. He did that. He caused that. He liked it far too much.

“I might've liked that more then I'm willing to admit at this point,” Louis breathed.

His hand had found its way back to the steering wheel, but the finger that had been victim to Harry's teeth was bouncing up and down, tapping rhythmically. It was full of too much energy now to hold still and he tried to make the tingles go away like he did when his foot would go numb in class.

“I could tell.”

They were on their way to school and here Harry was thinking about all the things he wanted to do the boy sitting next to him. Things he wasn’t even sure he knew what they were, much less how to do them. But that didn’t seem to stop the thoughts that were flooding his brain, making him feel things in places he didn’t usually feel things.

“How?”

Louis on the other hand knew exactly what he wanted to do. Too bad he was driving. Talking would have to do for now.

“You—your eyes did this thing.”

“What thing?”

“Your pupils, they like—got bigger.”

“Oh.”

They were talking about his fucking eyes and it was making his dick hard. What was this kid doing to him?

“I wanna kiss you Lou.”

Harry was staring at him like he wanted to devour him. It would’ve been kind of scary if he could've told you for certain he wasn’t doing the exact same thing.

“Can you wait til we get to school?”

Harry only nodded, breaking their eye contact, and wringing his hands in his lap anxiously.

Louis hadn't been just asking the boy next to him.

The next three minutes were absolute torture.

Followed quickly by thirty seconds of pure heaven.

As soon as Louis pulled his keys out of the ignition Harry was on him, pressing his lips, cool from the wind, onto Louis' warm ones. Remembering earlier, he swiped his tongue across Louis' bottom lip and knew it was the right thing to do when the boy's mouth opened slightly and let him in. His lips weren’t cold anymore. Louis licked gently into his mouth, fumbling but finding Harry's hand and intertwining their fingers, while he rubbing little circles with his thumb.

When Harry realized exactly where they were and what they were doing he pulled back. But he didn’t regret it for a second. And he gave Louis a kiss on the cheek just to prove it.

By the time Thursday rolled around Louis was setting his alarm ten minutes earlier so he could be waiting when Harry came out of his house. He stood outside the library and they went to lunch together and he decided he was going to buy that extra cookie everyday whether Harry objected or not. He had also started driving the boy home.

They were walking through the parking lot, Harry telling some pointless story that Louis saw the point in, when one of those kids that think they’re funny decided it was his time to shine.

“Hey Harry! Who's your friend?”

He bounded over and got within inches of Harry's face, grinning like a villain in a childrens' movie. Did no one want him to be happy? He didn’t understand why they ignored him every other day and just when things were starting to look up they decided to swoop in. He could see the boy's friends waiting over by one of their cars, huddled around each other watching like Harry's life purely existed for their entertainment.

“Name's Louis mate. And who are you?”

He'd have to remember to thank Louis later for being his hero.

“Doesn’t matter. I actually was talking to Harry in case you didn’t get that.”

They could treat him like shit all they wanted, he was used to it, but no one was going to talk to Louis like that.

“I wasn’t talking to you in case you didn’t get _that_.”

Okay, wow, he was really doing this.

“What did you just say to me? Because last time I checked I didn’t think you could talk.”

He took it too far. Or at least Louis seemed to think so.

“Did you ever stop to think he doesn’t talk to you people because there's nothing there worth talking to? Come on Harry, this fucker isn’t worth our time.”

Louis took his hand in front of all those curious eyes and led him to the car, opening his door for him just because and leaning down to kiss those brave lips.

Harry muttered screw it, digging his hands into feathered hair to pull the boy closer, and for the first time in his life he felt like everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anybody who wants to come talk to me on tumblr: whywouldieverpushlouisoffthebed :) And thank you to anybody that reads this and/or leaves me kudos/feedback. I really appreciate it all!!


	12. (Fri.) Will you take me on an adventure?

After what felt like an endless Friday full of stares and lectures and school, Harry and Louis were finally free. They were walking through the parking lot, and normally Harry would've been a nervous wreck considering what had taken place the day before, but he was surprisingly calm. Mostly due to the boy stuck at his side like a magnet, rambling on and on about what they were going to do for the rest of their day. 

“I think we should go bowling. Bowling's fun. Have you ever been?”

“No.”

“Or maybe the cinema. I've been wanting to see that one movie with that one guy. What's his face. Oh now I can't remember his name Harry.”

Suddenly without warning Louis started skipping, arms swinging back and forth with every bound, hair swishing around wildly. He didn't care that there were people watching him, probably talking about how weird he was at that very moment. He was doing what he wanted simply because it made him happy. He could care less what anyone thought about him. That was something Harry wished he could learn to do someday. He tended to avoid thinking about things like that but now it engulfed him and he couldn’t get it to go away no matter how hard he tried. 

Louis was about ten feet ahead of him when he stopped abruptly and spun around, his eyes not leaving Harry's as he spoke.

“Skip with me.”

And maybe that's why he couldn't say no. Those eyes were so full of hope and longing and he was pretty sure if he didn't start skipping that a piece of that boy's heart would break off and crumble to pieces right there on the pavement.

“Do I have to?” He mumbled as a last resort, even though he already knew the answer.

“Would you feel better if I held your hand?”

_Shit._

So Harry nodded like a defeated toddler that was just told he could only have a cookie if he cleaned up his mess.

A hand was slipping into his moments later, soft warm fingers filling the spaces between his own. He wondered momentarily what it felt like to hold his own hand, how it felt to Louis, before he was being pulled forward both mentally and physically.

His long legs didn’t want to cooperate at first, he hadn’t skipped since he was a child after all, but after a few strides he wasn’t doing half bad. He might've even thought it was fun.

They arrived at the car breathless and giddy, but still managed to burst out into a fit of laughter, drawing even more attention to themselves then they already had.

It actually felt pretty great.

Harry was aware of the eyes all around focused on him, taking in his every move. But they just didn't seem as important as they usually did. At least not as important as the blue eyes right in front of him.

“That was fun.”

Louis looked shocked when he heard the boy speak those words. He would have to start being more optimistic about the outcome of his plans.

“Even with everyone watching?”

“Even with everyone watching.”

Harry's response was answered with a huge grin as they got into the car and left everything else behind.

Who needed the rest of the world when they had everything they could ever want right next to them?

“Harry there has to be something you'd like to do. Anything. I'll take you anywhere.”

They were driving around aimlessly. Louis was whining in hopes of annoying the other boy into picking something to do because he wanted to make this day special for him. Little did he know Harry found it ridiculously cute and he pretended to be indecisive just a little longer because of it.

“You can pick Lou.”

God that little pout and wrinkled forehead made him want to fling himself out onto the street it was so damn adorable. He almost felt bad for carrying on with his act. Almost.

“Harreh! I want you to pick.”

“But I want you to pick.”

When the first hint of an actual frown found its way to Louis face he caved. 

“Will you take me on an adventure?”

Harry asked simply, like he was asking how much a loaf of bread cost or how an old relative had been doing.

“Of course. Yes. Fuck.”

Why Louis let that sentence affect him so much he wasn’t quite sure. Maybe it was because that was exactly what he wanted to do. Take Harry on an adventure. He wanted every moment he spent with him to be a different adventure. He wanted him to smile until his face hurt and have too much fun and experience everything he never had the chance to. He wanted him to _live._

“Where will you be taking me? Better be somewhere special for our first official adventure together.”

He knew somewhere in the back of his head that Harry had tricked him. Whether it was intentional or not he had got him good, placing the decision back in his hands. He didn’t really care much anymore though, what with the boy talking about _special_ and _first_ and _together_. Those were the words that really jumped out at him from the many just spoken.

“Well sweetheart, that would just ruin the surprise now wouldn’t it? And you know how much I love uprising you.”

_Opps. Lets just hope he didn’t notice that._

Of course he noticed, he just decided to take this one and tuck it away to smile at later. Maybe when his father was yelling at him and he really just needed something to pull himself out of that terrible place.

“If I remember correctly last time you tried surprising me you almost burnt down your kitchen.”

“That was simply bad luck. A one time occurrence.”

“And the second time you ran me into a curb.”

Louis was loving this. Harry was loving it more.

“Okay okay. So two times. I really don't see any reason for you to be worried though. Nobody got hurt after all.”

“I guess my foot that got smashed into solid concrete doesn’t count then.”

“That was an accident. Of course it doesn't count.”

Louis' pitch rose and he reached across the seat to grab Harry's hand that was resting on his thigh as a sort of apology. Even though he knew they were just joking around.

He didn’t want to notice the way Harry stiffened just a little but it was far too obvious to ignore.

“This okay?”

He nodded towards where his hand was now wrapped around Harry's, still pressed against his thigh.

“S'fine.”

He looked like a deer in the headlights again and Louis didn’t like it. Not after seeing how bright he could really shine.

“You sure?”

He pulled their hands from where they sat and brought the back of Harry's up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss there, and murmuring something indistinguishable. There he was trying to make sure Harry was comfortable and ended up doing shit like this. 

“I actually think I—I think I like it.”

Harry was blushing madly and didn’t want Louis to see what he was doing to him. How he was turning him into this mess of emotions and thoughts he never though he'd be lucky enough to have. Louis saw though, and maybe if Harry had known just how much he appreciated everything about him, every tiny little thing, even the things he didn’t know yet, he just might've wanted him to see.

They ended up at a little park nestled in between the trees next to a river. They swung on the swings first, during which Harry jumped off and landed farther in the sand, winning the game he didn’t even tell Louis they were playing until afterward. Louis didn’t mind though. Instead he congratulated him and held his hand as they walked to the river, telling him that was his prize. It was the best prize he'd ever won. Well technically it was the only prize he'd ever won. But he was sure that having that hand in his was far better than any giant teddy bear or trophy with his name on it.

They climbed down giant boulders and crumbled rocks to get to the water's edge. Louis helping Harry even though he was the taller one. It just felt like that was how it was supposed to be so they didn’t question it. It was an excuse to touch the boy as well which was only an added bonus. When there was a jump that was too far (okay probably not too far but Harry needed some reason to get Louis to touch him) he would place his hands just above Harry's thin hips and hoist him down, at which point they would end up practically nose to nose, pressed against each other. And if they stayed that way a little longer then necessary who was counting?

The pair ended up sitting on a rock that jutted out over the water shining under the sun that was slowly sinking lower and lower in the sky.

Harry had his legs crossed, elbows resting on his thighs, with his hands pressed into his chin to hold himself up. He was watching the sunset. 

“It's beautiful isn’t it Lou?”

Louis was watching him. The way his eyelids were having a harder and harder time pulling themselves back up after closing. The way his mouth was set in one of those slight smiles when you’re deep in thought, thinking about everything that is good and perfect, not a bad memory anywhere to be found. The way he sighed, his chest rising and falling, reminding Louis how nice it felt to have that chest cuddled up against him.

“It's amazing,” he breathed.

But all he was thinking “You’re amazing.”

He didn’t say anything, but Harry knew he wasn’t talking about the sunset. The fact that the boy hadn’t taken his eyes off of him in quite awhile was his first clue.

“Harry?”

Louis finally found something else to look at, tipping his head back and staring straight up into the sky.

“Mhm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go for it.”

Harry mumbled lazily. He could barely keep his eyes open, sleep threatening him. His level of comfort was far beyond anything it had been in years and he let the feeling that came with it overtake him. It flooded through his veins, washing away everything that had built up there to protect himself. He had the strange feeling he wouldn’t need all those things to protect him anymore, because maybe he had found something that worked much better. 

It was at this point that he decided even if Louis didn’t like him, even if Louis just wanted to be his friend, even if Louis got up and walked away at that very moment, he would be okay. He would get up every morning and live the way he should've been living all along, now that he knew what he was missing. And Louis or not he would make his life worth living. He owed that much to himself after everything he'd put up with, he owed himself, not anyone else.

Fate works in funny ways. It just so happened it didn’t want Harry to have to do it alone.

“Have you ever thought about being someone's boyfriend?”

It rushed out quickly. Louis was nervous. Louis didn’t get nervous. But he had never asked anyone to be his boyfriend before and to be honest it was fucking scary. There were so many possible outcomes. Okay maybe there weren’t _that_ many, but it was basically a fifty fifty shot, either he said yes or he said no. He would hold what felt like Louis' whole world in his hand and have the power to shape it into a brighter place or force it back into darkness. 

“Well—I—um.”

“Would you like to be my boyfriend?”

There, he said it. Now it was all up to Harry. He had no control.

Silence. 

Silence isn’t a good thing. Louis looked down and noticed his hands were shaking slightly in his lap. He wanted to look at Harry and see if he could figure out what was going on in that brain but he couldn’t force himself to look in that direction. If things were going to go badly he wanted to remember Harry the way he should be remembered. Beautiful and bright and remarkable, hidden away beneath layers of doubt and insecurities and fear. It just took a little time for those things to be stripped away and it was going to take even more time for them to disappear completely but it would be worth the wait. Harry Styles was a butterfly. Well not yet exactly. He was still in his cocoon, trying to push his way out, and looking back, Louis was pretty sure one of his wings found its way to freedom that day.

“I think I would actually.”

_Wait what?_

Louis wasn’t sure he was hearing things properly.

The funny thing was Harry had known that question was coming probably before Louis even knew he was going to ask it. 

The even funnier thing was he had been so ready to say no. Or maybe he was always going to say yes and just didn’t know it.

“You would?”

Harry was watching Louis now. Louis was watching the sunset in an attempt to distract himself.

It didn’t work.

The boy next to him was much prettier.

“S'what I said isn’t it?”

Harry found himself scooting a little closer, inch by inch, until he was at the other boy's side. They curled into each other instinctively, Harry's head on Louis' shoulder, Louis' arm around Harry's waist.

“Yeah—well yeah.” 

Traces of disbelief still laced Louis' words. When Harry nuzzled into the crook of his neck, sighing and breathing softly against his bare skin, those breaths blew his disbelief into the river never to be found again. Harry was his boyfriend. This was happening. 

“Lou?”

People had called him Lou his entire life so he didn’t understand why every time Harry let that one syllable escape his mouth he couldn’t help but smile. The boy had a nice voice, deep and raspy and slow, so he blamed it on that. But he knew there was probably something else, some other reason he found it so endearing. He would figure it out eventually but right now he was too busy to worry about it.

“Yeah Haz?”

“D'you think I could spend the night at your house tonight?”

“I already kinda figured you were.”

Louis let out a little laugh and kissed the top of Harry's head.

They finally managed to climb their way back up to the real world a few minutes later, after a lot of stumbling and even more giggling. They were too distracted, trying to catch glances when the other wasn’t looking, to even care about the scratches littering their arms and legs from falling on the rocks. They would find time for that later.

They held hands the entire ride home. Except when Louis turned the radio up as loud as it would go and rolled down all the windows. The air was perfect, not cold or hot, just air, and it was gushing into the car and blowing everything around. 

“Stick your head out the window!”

Louis yelled over the music, storing the confused face he got in return in his long term memory because he never wanted to forgot it.

“What?”

Harry wasn’t sure why anyone would stick their head out the window of a moving vehicle.

“You heard me! Just do it, come on, for me?”

Well if Louis wanted him to do it there must be a reason. So he unbuckled his seat belt and leaned over until he was right at the border between rushing air and the safety of the car, and he crossed it. The force that hit him threw him back just a bit but once he had his head completely outside it wasn’t so bad. It was the opposite of bad. He closed his eyes, hair stripped back like it was in an imaginary ponytail, hands gripping the frame of the window, and let everything go. Every bruise his father ever left on his body and every name he ever left repeating in his ears. Every stare from people who didn’t understand and every thought he imagined went through their head. The last thing to go were his worries of not being good enough, of being worthless. And as much as the wind tried to rip every last thread away from him, a few managed to hold on. They were wound too deep, wrapped around and around memories that would never fade or go away. Memories that he wished more than anything he could just forget.

He plopped back down in his seat, dopey smile hanging on his face, hair a mess. He didn’t even bother trying to fix it for once. It would be fine for now. Louis turned the radio back down and glanced over at Harry.

“Fun isn’t it?”

“It was great. I thought you were crazy when you first told me to do it.”

This time he was the one to find Louis' hand, giving it a little squeeze.

“Oh I am crazy Harry. But I think you'll get used to it.”

“I think I already am used to it to be honest.”

They were quiet the rest of drive but the silence said more than any words. Each boy was in his own world but at the same time in each others and it was something that no amount of words would be able to explain. But that something was happening and it was pulling two very different people closer and closer together until eventually they just might never be able to break apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little shorter than usual but I think I deserve a tiny bit of credit for two updates in less than a week. I don't know how I even did this. I love hearing what you guys think so don't be shy :) xx


	13. (Sat.) My mind is a strange place.

When Louis fell asleep hadn’t really planned on ending up on what he had designated as “Harry's side of the bed” nor had he planned on somehow unconsciously wrapping himself around the boy's skinny frame, but that's exactly how he woke up.

You can't hold someone accountable for their actions if they’re sleeping anyway. It's not like he did it on purpose.

Yawning in the dim morning light, he stretched as much as he could without detaching himself from Harry, and poked his head over the top of the boy's shoulder. Taking advantage of the fact that he appeared very much asleep, Louis reached down and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. One turned into two and two might've turned into three, but nobody was counting.

Except Harry.

But Louis was too distracted to even notice the slight change in breathing, his hands busy roaming until they found where fabric ended and skin began. He slipped them beneath Harry's thin shirt and pressed his fingers into the tight muscles that he had previously only felt through clothes, muscles that reminded him of what he was lacking. He had never been fond of his stomach, the way its outline was just visible beneath his shirts, practically screaming “look at my baby fat!” That's what his mom had always called it, baby fat. Louis called it disgusting. Which was what led him to make excuses for leaving his shirt on with a majority of the guys he'd ever been with. If they never saw it they would never have a chance to comment on it, because to be honest he didn’t know if he could handle that. 

An uncontrollable urge to copy Louis' actions overtook the boy who was now pretending to be asleep. He wanted his hands on Louis' stomach, wanted to feel his bare skin. He didn’t know why but the strange urge was strong enough to slowly roll his half awake self over in the boy's arms and snake his hands up his shirt. 

When Louis jumped and tensed up beneath his touch Harry assumed his hands were just cold. He didn’t give him much warning either, one second seemingly sound asleep and the next inviting himself into his personal space without a word.

“Harry.”

Louis spoke quietly, questioning and fear and panic rolled up into two syllables that seemed to be the only thing he could get out. If Harry would’ve had his eyes open he would’ve thought the boy had seen a ghost.

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Harry was supposed to be the apprehensive one, the one that needed time to adjust to everything. Not the other way around.

Harry made an executive decision not to answer. It was his turn to be distracted because he wanted to remember this moment for everything it truly was. The warm smooth skin he didn’t even feel bad for touching and the soft stomach that felt more and more relaxed with each breath the boy it belonged to took. This is what he had been missing out on for so many years, but fuck, would it have felt like this with anyone but Louis? He didn’t think so.

It felt like those hands were covering Louis' entire torso, burning into his skin and removing every worry he'd ever had about letting people touch him there. There were no nasty comments or lingering looks of disgust. It was almost as if Harry liked the part of him that he hated the most, although he couldn’t fathom why anyone would like something like that.

“You're soft.”

Harry mumbled the words into Louis' ear, wrapping himself around the older boy and nuzzling his head into the crook of his neck. 

“M'not.”

Louis frowned because in his mind soft meant squishy, and people don’t think squishy stomachs are attractive. 

“Are too. I like your belly.”

Except Harry Styles of course. How had he managed to find the one person on the face of the earth who not only accepted his flaws, but actually liked them? He also had to admit it was ridiculously cute that he called it a belly. 

“You do?”

Louis was blushing but the room was still too dark for it to show. It was also still too dark for him to see where Harry had disappeared to, but he could feel him.

Instead of saying yeah or answering in words like a normal person, the boy was suddenly under the blanket and pushing Louis' shirt up until it was bunched around his chest. He was careful and delicate, fingers ghosting across skin on the way up and trailing back down slowly. He had never been considered a normal person anyway so why start now.

“Fuck.”

Louis tried to contain himself, he really did, the word coming out more of a throaty whine than anything else. But there were lips on his stomach, Harry's lips to be specific, and if that didn’t make him lose control there must've been something wrong with him.

In all the instances Harry had ever heard that word spoken it had only meant bad things. One simple four letter word spit out with so much anger and hate and disgust. But this time it was different, this time it sounded needy and _beautiful_. It was amazing how quickly he picked up on the other boy's insecurities and found a way to show him he was wrong, even if it just changed his mind a little bit. One day he would make him see how perfect he really was. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he wasn’t even sure how he had ended up pressing light kisses across every inch of Louis' stomach. His heart was racing because there was still a part of him that knew what he was doing was absolutely insane, but he didn’t seem to be in control of his actions lately. 

“Harry?”

It wasn’t a question, it was a plead.

“Yeah?”  
He glanced up all tired eyes and fluttering eyelashes and if Louis didn’t need to kiss him a second ago he did now.

“Come—“

Louis didn’t even have a chance to finish his sentence because Harry was attached to his lips, effectively silencing him. And if he didn’t know otherwise, he would’ve thought that boy had been doing this for years. He moved slow at first, waiting for Louis to catch up (which he did quickly), before slipping his tongue into his mouth and pulling him in by his already messy hair.

Things went a little farther than expected that Saturday morning between two boys that were to caught up in each other to remember there was a world all around them. Kissing turned into Louis finding Harry's neck and sucking dark bruises into skin that had never before been touched. He might've forgotten everything they did together was a first to the boy. He might've been a little too rough. He might've been pushing things along a little too quickly. Only one of those things turned out to be true. 

When he pulled away and saw glistening eyes he proceeded to press soft kisses to each bruise, tongue finding skin and soothing the marks.

“Sorry.” 

He mumbled as he tried to apologize without words as well.

“For what?”

Harry pulled back, looking genuinely confused as to why he was being told sorry. Sure his neck felt like someone had just strangled him, but that feeling was caused by an angel of a boy and if he said he didn’t like it certain body parts would’ve told a different story.

“I just forget you haven’t done stuff like this 'sall. I don’t want to hurt you.”

So he didn’t want to hurt him. Harry was going to laugh but when he saw genuine concern in the blue eyes he decided not to.

“I'm not going to break Louis. Yeah it's new but I like it and I—I like that I get to do it with you.”

“You promise?”

“Uh huh. Now will you kiss me again?”

“Of course sweetheart.”

Louis grabbed each side of his face and pulled him in until their mouths were connected. He could feel Harry smiling like an idiot against his lips. Usually he wasn’t one for pet names. Usually they annoyed him beyond belief. But if he called Harry sweetheart and it made him smile like that then he could get used to it. He could even turn it into a habit. 

A half hour later, after what seemed like hours of simply making out and roaming hands, they heard commotion downstairs and pulled apart. It was strange because Louis knew nothing was going to come of it, knew there would be no messy first blow jobs or even a quick hand job. And he was okay with that. This wasn’t about him anyway, this was about the curly haired boy that needed to set the pace for the both of them. They would cross those bridges when Harry was ready to.

“You hungry?”

Louis was pulling him out of bed and dragging him downstairs before he could answer. 

The rest of the family was already awake, milling about between the kitchen and the living room while breakfast was being cooked.

“Morning mom! Smells wonderful.”

They found seats next to each other at the table and Harry waited for the moment when Louis would drop his hand. Instead he rested them both on top of the table, not even trying to hide their new found closeness from his family's curious eyes.

“Good morning! And thank you Louis, I've made your favorite.”

She was about to cry, the way her voice cracked mid sentence and the fact that she wouldn’t turn around and face him. He wondered how he'd let things get bad enough that a few kind words made her that emotional. He was a terrible person. He'd been terrible to his family when all they ever did was love and support him. That was probably the nicest thing he'd said to her in at least a year, hence the way she reacted, and it made him feel like absolute shit.

“You're the best mom, hope you made enough for Harry too.”

She finally turned around, taking in the way they had scooted their chairs closer together and their hands intertwined on the tabletop and those stupid grins that sprung up every time they looked at each other.

“Of course there's enough for Harry. Now when did all of this happen?”

She motioned towards them and smiled so big she could've been mistaken as insane.

“Yesterday. At the river.”

Louis answered easily, glancing at Harry to gauge his reaction. He hadn’t talked to his mom this willingly about anything in so long but for some reason all he wanted to do was gush about his new boyfriend. Sometimes he swore he had the brain of a thirteen year old girl.

“Mom Fizzy won't give me my pho—oh.” 

Lottie was distracted by the scene in front of her. Her brother didn't bring boys he liked home, even she knew that. But this was different. This was progress.

“Lottie! Perfect timing, Louis was just telling me about his trip to the river yesterday.”

His mom winked at her and motioned for her to have a seat, which she did. And the whole scene didn’t annoy him, it was actually quite cute they were that interested in him.

“So details, who asked who?”

Lottie asked, arms folded across her chest like she was performing an interrogation.

“Louis asked me. He was nervous.”

The smirk on Harry's face made its way around the room until everyone was sporting it proudly, except Louis who found himself blushing. Again. Oh boy.

“Louis nervous. No way, Louis never gets nervous. Tell me more.”

Now Lottie was leaning forward, arms folded on the table, looking like she was about to open a present.

“He was. I swear. Refused to even look at me after he asked. And I thought I was the nervous one.”

As much as Louis wanted to let his embarrassment work its way deeper, where it would turn into anger and rear back on those he loved most, he didn’t. Mainly because he couldn’t break his concentration away from Harry long enough to do so. He was far more interested in the way the boy didn’t seem his usual nervous and tense self. He felt better this way anyway. Maybe he would have to try being happy more often.

“I was shaking. If he would’ve said no I think I might've just threw myself into the river.”

Did he really just admit to shaking? Well that wasn’t as hard as it seemed. No one was laughing at him. Except Harry but that was for a different reason. Harry.

“Hey! How'd I have gotten home if you’d have done that?”

Harry beaming.

“Maybe you should have thought about how you were getting home before you said no then.”

Harry's dimples.

“But I said yes!”

Harry's sparkling eyes.

“Exactly. Plus I brought you back to my house, you didn’t even go home.”

Harry turning red.

Shit.

“If his boyfriend can spend the night can mine?”

“Lottie Tomlinson!”

Their mom shouted but couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped directly afterward. Seeing her kids get along so well subdued any motherly instincts that would’ve normally come out when her thirteen year old daughter asked to have a boy spend the night.

“You don’t even have a boyfriend. Do you?”

Louis asked in disbelief.

“Shows how much attention you pay.”

“Lottie you’re thirteen! Jesus Christ you cant have a boyfriend at thirteen.”

“You had a boyfriend when you were fourteen.”

No he didn’t. He'd never had a boyfriend. Until now.

“Adam was not my boyfriend.”

“Could've fooled me. Harry's cuter anyway.”

Louis was too thankful for the subject change to realize Lottie had also effectively avoided the subject she didn’t want to talk about. 

“He is pretty cute isn’t he?”

There was plenty of cheek pinching and tickling after that, with Harry giggling until he couldn’t breath, squealing out stops and help mes occasionally. 

“Lou—I cant take it—I'm going to pass out.”

Harry was curled up in a fetal position with the boy straddling him. They were on Louis' kitchen floor, his mom at the counter dividing up food onto plates and Lottie's eyes glued to her rescued phone as she typed frantically, like this was an everyday occurrence. Although something told them all it probably would become one soon enough.

“Say I win!”

“How—how old are you?”

It was hard to laugh and talk at the same time. Harry didn’t talk much. Harry didn’t laugh much. This had never been something he had to deal with before.

“Older than you which means I get to win. Now say it or you’re not getting up.”

“Okay—okay you win.”

“I didn’t quite hear you. What was that?”

“You win Lou!”

Harry screamed as loud as he could while practically being assaulted.

“Boo bear leave the poor boy alone and come have some breakfast.”

Did his mom really have to bring up his nickname? In front of his boyfriend of less than twenty four hours of all people. He grudgingly climbed off the boy and helped him up hoping maybe he hadn’t heard her.

He heard her.

After breakfast when they were lounging on the couch, which seemed to be becoming a Saturday morning routine, Harry kept glancing over like he was planning some sort of bank robbery.

“So what are the plans for today Boo bear?”

He said it so casually, like nothing was out of the ordinary and he was simply saying Louis' name at the end of a sentence. 

“You little shit.”

“But I'm your little shit aren’t I Boo bear?”

“Fuck.”

He had been defeated. By a boy with curly hair who acted like one of his little sisters and was staring at him with those big green eyes.

“Aww my Boo bears not mad is he? Does he need a kiss?”

“Yeah.”

Utterly defeated. And he couldn’t have been happier.

“Who needs a kiss?”

Harry was just tormenting him now.

“Me.”

“Wrong answer.”

His curls covered his eyes as he shook his head no and pushed a finger right to the tip of Louis' nose.

“Ugh Harry are you really making me do this?”

He was trying to sound upset, even pouting out his bottom lip for bonus points but Harry just crossed his arms and stared at him with the most serious expression he could muster.

“Yes.”

“Boo bear wants a kiss.”

He whined out and was rewarded quickly with soft lips that tasted like strawberry milk.

“You taste like strawberry milk.”

That was all Louis' brain could think to say besides its constant playing of _Harry_ on repeat.

The rest of their day played out in much the same way. Louis found his mind became a strange place when he was around the adorable and childish Harry Styles.

“You have pretty curls.”

He randomly blurted out when they were watching TV. Or at least Harry was watching TV.

“What is your favorite color?”

He asked when they decided to take a walk in the woods near his house.

“Blue.”

“Like the sky?”

“No. What's yours?”

“Green.”

“Like the grass?”

“Not exactly.”

They didn’t need to say it out loud to understand what was really going on.

“Do you like dogs or cats more?”

That one was inspired by the neighbors dog, a fluffy yappy little thing, coming to greet them when they finally found their way home.

“Cats for sure.”

“Aww but look at this little face!”

Louis scooped the thing up in his arms and held it nose to nose with Harry.

“I guess it's not all that bad. But I still like cats more.”

He patted the dog on the head before Louis kissed it right on the nose and set it down.

“One day I'm going to get a cockapoo and name it Curly.”

“Curly?”

“Don't you know anything about dogs Harold. Cause they have curly hair of course.”

“Oh.”

When they were in Louis' room preparing for Harry's departure, with plenty more kissing of course, the greatest one yet found it's way out.

“You’re my first boyfriend.”

_Well that wasn’t supposed to happen._

“Good one Lou.”

Harry pushed him playfully on the shoulder but he didn’t flinch.

“I'm serious.”

Silence.

“I mean I've been with people before. Like done things with people. Shit no. I mean—“

“It's okay—I don’t expect you to be on the umm same level? as me.”

But it wasn’t okay because the way Harry's entire face and voice and posture changed in a mere couple of seconds was scary. 

“I was just stupid then ya know? I never really felt the way I feel about you with anybody else. Nobody was boyfriend material. Or I wasn’t boyfriend material. But I am now. Or at least I hope I can be. I don’t know. Fuck I've screwed everything up haven’t I?”

“No—no of course you haven’t screwed everything up. I'm new at this whole boyfriend thing too remember?”

Oh yeah. Harry was new at this too. He had almost forgotten about that.

“You’re not sick of me?”

This time it was Louis asking.

“Never. But I do actually need to head home, got some homework to get done.”

Louis really was putting a big dent in his weekend homework time. Not that he minded very much though.

“Need a ride?”

“How could I say no to you?”

They ended up in the car, holding hands the entire way because letting go seemed to be getting harder. When they pulled into the driveway there was a truck occupying the other space, which only meant one thing. 

“Your parents home?”

How was Louis supposed to know.

“Just my father.”

He didn’t give any more explanation and Louis didn’t ask anymore questions.

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

No. He had too much too do. Too much reconciling.

“Maybe.”

But he meant no.

Because how was Louis supposed to know.

“Have a good night Haz. Sweet dreams.”

He shouldn’t kiss a boy in his driveway. 

He shouldn’t kiss a boy period.

But definitely not in his driveway where his father could be watching.

He kissed him anyway.

This was technically their first goodbye kiss and everything about it screamed I don’t want you to go. They were clinging to each other even though it was uncomfortable what with the console and seats getting in the way. It made it even worse that Harry knew what he was going back to. What he suddenly didn’t want to go back to. He had been coping just fine for so many years but he didn’t want to just cope anymore, he wanted to _live._

Louis was showing him how to live and it was overwhelming and frightening but he wanted it so bad. So he kissed him hard, trying to memorize every taste and sigh. Breathing in the smell that surrounded him so maybe when he finally went to bed he would have something to remind him of the boy. 

“I’m going to miss you.”

Louis breathed out when he pulled away to catch his breath. 

Harry responded with another kiss, long and slow, hoping it would say everything he needed it too.

His fingers were practically digging into the skin on Louis' waist as he pulled away and got out of the car without another word. 

He was about to open the front door when he heard his name.

There was the thud of a car door and suddenly _Louis_.

Arms hiding him from the world and a heartbeat that pounded in his ears and hot breath against his face. 

“Couldn’t help it. You do things to me I don’t even understand Harry Styles.”

His mouth was so close to Harry's ear that he was positive not even someone standing a foot away could've heard it. 

And then he was alone.

Louis voice replayed over and over in his head as he opened the door only to disappear when he came face to face with his father on the other side, bloodshot eyes and a bottle in hand. 

He was truly alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come find me on tumblr at whywouldieverpushlouisoffthebed and we can be friends:)


	14. (Sun.-Tues.) Harry hasn't ate since Saturday and Louis wants him to stay forever

If the night was miserable, the morning was absolute hell. 

When Harry finally regained consciousness it took him a few minutes to realize he wasn’t in his room, his left cheek pressed against something extremely cold and his muscles aching before he even attempted to move. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He thought maybe if he kept them closed this would all go away. All the screaming and punches and pain would dissipate like a forgotten dream and be replaced with the beautiful reality of blue eyes and soft lips and _Louis_.

No. Louis was what had gotten him into this situation to begin with. If he wouldn’t have been with Louis he would’ve been safe in his room reading a book, not listening to his father call him a faggot more times than he could even count. If he wouldn’t have kissed Louis he would’ve fell asleep in his room, not passed out on the kitchen floor because he didn’t have the energy to get back up. If Louis wouldn’t have gotten out of the car his father would’ve been snoring on the couch, not beating Harry until he couldn’t see straight. 

The night came rushing back to him in a blur of images that flickered across his closed eyelids, lighting up the darkness with more darkness. 

The morning came rushing back to him with a kick to his gut.

“Wake up you little piece of shit.”

The words didn’t even register, pain seeping throughout his abdomen and crawling in every direction it could find. He let out a small groan and curled into a ball instinctively to protect himself, hot tears prying at the corners of his still closed eyes.

“Did you hear me or did I not make myself clear enough?”

Another kick, this one finding his upper arm. At least he could hide the bruises.

He could always hide the bruises because his father was smart, never hitting him in places that couldn’t be covered.

“I—“

He didn’t realize he could barely breath until he actually tried to talk. His father didn’t really want a response anyway.

“You need to be taught a lesson Harry. It's not my fault that your pathetic little brain is too stupid to grasp anything the easy way or I wouldn’t have to resort to this. That little faggot that left all those disgusting marks on your neck needs to be taught a lesson too.”

In all the chaos he had forgotten about those. Why had he been so stupid? He was so so stupid. But Louis didn’t think he was stupid. Or at least he was pretty sure he didn’t.

_Don’t call him that._

He told himself he didn’t say it out load because he couldn’t breath but of course that was a lie.

His brain was playing tug of war with itself, one side begging him to let Louis be the hero and the other caving back in on itself because no one was going to save him. But if anyone was even going to come close it would’ve been Louis.

“That faggot is my boyfriend.”

He choked out, knowing he was going to regret that one.

“You actually believed he liked you didn’t you?”

His father let out a deep bellowing laugh that made his stomach flip multiple times and if he had been standing up he probably would’ve vomited. He had been pretty sure Louis liked him, but now that he thought about it none of it made any sense. This was his life, his life where nothing was normal yet he was abused and belittled and deprived so often it almost felt normal. Then there was the other boy's life, with his wonderful family and perfect appearance and everything he could ever need and more. Why would he like someone like Harry when he could do so much better? If he really knew what he was getting himself into there was no way he would stick around, because he might like him now but that was only because there was a lot he still didn’t know.

And Harry caved. He always caved.

“Yea—yeah.”

Tears were leaking from the corners of his eyes as he whimpered out a response.

“Who in their right fucking mind would like you? Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

This was nothing new. His father insulted his appearance more often than not. 

“When are you going to get a haircut anyway? Those curls make you look like a little girl.”

Then there was a hand, blunt fingernails digging into his scalp, and pain. 

In the beginning Harry always thought he would get used to the pain. He was so young and innocent, thinking all little boys had bruises from misbehaving, hidden beneath their clothes. His father told him he had to do it, that he had no choice, and of course he believed him. It was all he'd ever known. He never did get used to the pain, despite his best efforts. Every punch knocked the wind out of him, every kick made his nerves cry out, every insult found it's way into his heart. He'd read once that pain was a warning signal, the brains way of telling the body to “get out”. Maybe Harry's brain wasn’t functioning properly. 

When he opened his eyes he was standing, his father's hand still tangled in his hair. It felt like someone had taken every single dark strand and strung them up individually to a tree branch and then dangled Harry from it. His vision was all blurry around the edges and he probably would’ve collapsed had that hand not been holding him up. Collapsing sounded pretty good at the moment to be honest. 

“You're not allowed to leave this house anymore. I've had enough of your shit.”

“Bu—“

He wasn’t even allowed to finish a one syllable word before the hand jerked his hair up, forcing eye contact he definitely didn’t want. 

“By god if I find out you take even one step out that front door you will wish you'd never been born. Do you understand me?”

Somehow Harry managed to nod as he stared into those cold, lifeless eyes.

His father must've accepted that as a response and suddenly released his grip. Harry's body landed on the floor hard, head bouncing from the impact, sending vibrations that felt more like electrical shocks throughout every inch of him. Then everything went black again.

He woke up to a dark house, the lack of light pouring in through the kitchen window signaling he must've been passed out all day. Which meant it was Sunday night. Which meant he had school in the morning. 

Needless to say Harry didn’t go to school on Monday. Or Tuesday. If he thought he heard Louis' car honk from the street each morning he dismissed it as a coincidence. It was easier to deal with when he told himself the boy just didn’t show up. 

_Back to lying to yourself again are we?_

_I'm not._

_Yes you are._

_I never quit._

_You did when you were with him._

Harry was in the middle of an intense argument with himself Tuesday evening when there was a knock on the door. That led to an intense argument on whether or not he wanted the person knocking to be Louis.

By the time he got to the front door he was shaking violently. When he opened the door and saw Louis he might've started crying. Things got a little hazy at that point. He vaguely remembers Louis crashing into him and hugging him so tight his eyes probably bugged out of his head like in one of those old cartoons. He thinks he asked him to come out to his car to which he replied he wasn’t allowed even one step out the door. That prompted Louis to come in. 

Louis had been worrying himself sick for the past two days. His mom even tried to keep him home that morning and take him to the hospital but he refused, he wasn’t _really_ sick after all. So as soon as the final bell rang he was out those doors and at Harry's house in what might've been considered a world record had he went through the trouble to find witnesses and submit official documents and such. But there was no time for fame or glory when Harry most likely needed him. 

Seeing the boy alive and well was a relief. Which made him feel silly for worrying so much because Harry had probably just had a little stomach bug and stayed home to rest up and eat chicken noodle soup all day. He still hugged him like he was near death and it was the last embrace they would ever share. Just because he could.

“Harry why aren’t you allowed outside?”

They were sitting on the couch now, Harry keeping his distance. When Louis reached out to push a few of his curls out of his eyes he jumped back.

His green eyes were scarily cloudy and Louis had no idea what was going on anymore.

“That's the rules.”

Harry mumbled under his breath, averting his gaze to one of the flowers on the sheet covering the window. 

“Whose rules?”

“My father's. He got real mad cause of these.”

Harry proceeded to jab a finger at the one of the faded hickeys on his neck, all the while twisting the hem of his shirt nervously with his other hand.

“So he gave me these.”

The boy's voice was low, laced with embarrassment as he pointed to a spot on his shirt.

“That's your shirt Harry.”

And all at once everything clicked. Louis knew what was under that shirt. He didn’t want to see what was under that shirt. But he had to make sure Harry was okay.

“Under.”

Harry wrapped his arms tightly across his chest and started rocking back and forth. He didn’t want to act like this in front of Louis, in front of his boyfriend, but he was beyond the point of return.

“Can I—?”

Louis asked cautiously, scooting a little closer and placing a hand carefully on Harry's knee.

Harry slowly nodded and glanced up for a split second just to make sure Louis hadn’t disappeared.

The hurt Louis saw crowded in those beautiful eyes made him want to hunt down whoever put it there and kill them. Or leave them a nasty voice mail at the very least.

Gently he found the hem of Harry's shirt and shimmied it slowly up, up, up, revealing battle scars both old and new.

_Murder it is then._

“Who did this to you?”

There was anger and fear and hurt all balled up in that question, his voice breaking just a little, as he lightly traced over a dark bruise etched across Harry's abdomen.

“That's where he kicked me.”

Harry was ashamed. Louis surely wouldn’t want to be with him anymore after this. He was ugly enough without the bruises.

“Who?”

He asked a little more forcefully, the fear and hurt turning into pure anger.

“I don't think he'd be happy if I told.”

_In other words he would probably beat me until I was so bloody you'd think I was that strawberry stuff on the top of cheesecake._

“Harry you have to listen to me okay? Whoever did this to you needs to be locked up. This isn’t—shit—this isn’t. Harry you don’t deserve this.”

Bruises littered pale skin, his upper arms, down his chest, across his stomach, but never extending past what his clothes would hide.

“He said I did.”

“Fuck. Harry I'm not leaving you here. Come on, I'm taking you back to my house.”

Louis was pacing now, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to calm down.

“I'm not supposed to leave.”

And even though he knew it was against the rules, he found himself thinking maybe he should do it anyway. 

“I'm well aware of that, but given the current situation I'm not really going to give you a choice.”

“What if I want a choice?”

Harry said, just loud enough to get Louis' attention.

“Har—“

“Lets go.”

Harry interrupted him, reaching a hand out.

“Yeah—Yeah lets go.”

Louis carefully threaded his fingers between Harry's and led him out the front door. It took twelve steps to get to the car. After that Harry quit counting.

Once they started driving and Harry realized exactly what he'd just done he wanted to explode into eighteen million bright little fairies and fly away before anyone could catch even just a piece of him. Leaving his house was a stupid idea. Leaving with Louis was idiotic. He tapped his foot anxiously the entire ride.

When they pulled up to Louis' house there were no cars in sight.

“My mom and dad took the girls out to dinner and a movie.”

Harry didn’t know how Louis knew what he was going to ask before he asked it, but it made his heart stutter.

“Oh.”

And then Louis got out of the car and made his way around to open Harry's door for him, which was becoming quite the habit. Harry didn’t seem to mind either because a tiny smile found its way to his lips, the first bit of good emotion he'd shown in days.

“Lets get you inside and find something to eat. I’m starving.”

The drive back had calmed Louis down a little, and it took long enough for him to build up a healthy appetite. 

“Me too. I haven’t ate since Saturday.”

They were holding hands again, had just entered the garage, and Louis froze.

Saturday was the last time they had been together. He hadn’t ate since the last time they’d been together. Three fucking days. If Louis doesn’t satisfy his hunger within minutes of its onset suns explode and happy couples everywhere spontaneously divorce. 

“Saturday Harry?”

Louis was in shock.

“I didn’t mean to tell you that. It's not a big deal really. Honest. I’ve went longer and been fine.”

It felt like the world had stopped right there in The Tomlinson family garage.

“Sometimes there’s just not enough money for food ya know?”

Not enough money for food. Not enough money for something that is necessary for human survival. Louis couldn’t wrap his head around it. I mean he understood the technicalities but it just didn’t seem fair. He didn’t think he'd ever look at food the same way again.

“I’m really sorry Harry.”

Louis said, turning Harry so that they were facing each other. He pressed a quick kiss to the boy's sad lips and then to the tip of his nose, causing Harry to let out a deep sigh and allowing his eyelids to flutter shut. Each of those received a kiss too, which got a small, quiet giggle out of the both of them.

“Can I hug you?”

Harry hadn’t planned on asking but that little part of him filled with all his self doubt made an appearance.

“Only if you promise me something.”

“What?”

“You have to promise that you’ll stay. Here. With me. Maybe forever. Yeah—forever.”

It was at this point that Harry threw up, well technically more retching than anything else, followed by some yellow tinted fluid hitting the pavement. Louis held his hair out of the way and rubbed circles into his back while whispering reassuring words in his ear the entire time. After making Harry assure him that he was okay (probably more times than necessary) they went inside and Louis attempted to make dinner for the two of them. He failed. Again.

So Harry cooked instead, which ended up cheering him up quite a bit, and by the end of the night they were full and happy and cuddled up in bed together.

“Is it okay if I take your shirt off?”

Louis rolled over so he was looking right into those green eyes that were finally shining again.

“Um—well I guess.”

Why anyone would want to see him with his shirt off twice in one day was beyond him, but he couldn't say no. Not when Louis was looking at him like he was made of magic. 

Once his shirt was off and everything was out in the open he decided maybe he could say no after all. 

“Can we turn the lights out?”

But then Louis was everywhere and the lights just didn’t seem all that bright anymore. Not when this boy was shining all around him. His fingertips gliding over skin, Harry wondering how they had the power to find every place that hurt and make it feel good instead. Even with his eyes closed he could tell the other boy was studying every mark inflicted upon him, like he was trying to memorize where they were and how they looked and what they felt like. Maybe Louis was the one made of magic, because it sure felt like it. He made Harry feel like he was high, even though he didn’t really know what being high felt like, but he was sure it had to be something like this.

“Pants?”

The sudden noise startled Harry who already wasn’t thinking clearly, so he just nodded. 

Louis slipped them down and saw exactly what he expected, more bruises, along with a rather large scar that ran down the outside of his left thigh.

“How'd you get this one?”

“Hmm?”

“This scar, on your leg.”

“Oh that. A knife.”

Maybe it was his full stomach or this Louis induced euphoria but his usual filter seemed to have disappeared.

“There was this book that came out last year, and I wanted it—like so bad, it was literally all I could think about. So I asked my father if I could have ten dollars and he—well he said no. For a month straight I snuck all of his loose change out of his pants pockets until I finally had enough. A couple weeks later he found the book in my room and said I disobeyed him. And well—yeah.”

Then there were lips on his skin, specifically on his scar, and his stomach got all fluttery. 

“Wha—”

Harry was going to ask what he was doing but Louis shushed him.

He was too busy peppering kisses all over Harry's wounds to be bothered with talking.

When the lights finally went out and they were both drifting off Harry finished what Louis had started earlier.

“Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“I promise.”

And if they fell asleep hugging maybe it was the universes' way of saying yeah. Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drove up to Burger King to update because my internet hates me. Enjoy and find me on tumblr at whywouldieverpushlouisoffthebed :)


	15. (Wed.) People are always going to make comments

If the night was what only dreams are made of, the morning was a dream come true.

Harry woke up snuggled deep in a mound of blankets and pillows to an already very familiar pair of blue eyes staring straight at him and it should've scared the shit out of him, but it didn’t. Because they weren’t just any blue eyes, they were Louis', with the deep swirling colors and dark blue flecks dotting here and there. Because in the early morning haze Louis was all soft around the edges, his hair hanging messily across his forehead, baggy white t-shirt he had put on at some point in the night wrinkled. Because his skin actually looked like it was glowing from the small stream of sunlight coming through the window. Harry almost reached out to touch him because he was ninety eight percent sure he was dreaming. Yes this had to be a dream, that would explain why he was so calm. People like Louis don’t exist in real life and even if they did they most definitely wouldn’t be in bed with someone like Harry. 

“You’re kind of beautiful.”

Okay so he really had to be dreaming.

Except he wasn’t

Louis had woken up about ten minutes prior, went to the bathroom, and came back to find himself completely and utterly fucked. Mainly because he found himself in bed with a boy that he couldn’t stop thinking about. And he was going to go back to bed, he really was, but then Harry breathed out a quiet sigh and Louis got just a little bit caught up in it all. The way his curls were literally everywhere and the little puffs of breath that escaped his pink pink lips and his eyelashes fanned out across his pale skin. Jesus fucking Christ he had never been in this deep before because since when did he start noticing people's eyelashes? Never that's when. Until now. Until Harry.

Of course. 

So when Harry woke up and caught him staring (which he didn’t even try to hide) he really couldn’t help speaking his mind. 

He told the boy he looked beautiful to which he received no response.

Instead Harry blinked lazily a few times, little sparks of life finding their way out each time, and yawned what would be obnoxiously to anyone else. To Louis it was adorable.

Then the boy was practically crawling into Louis' arms, wrapping his long limbs around Louis' much shorter ones and pressing a chaste kiss to the underside of his jaw.

“Don't get too comfy. We've got school today.”

Louis mumbled into Harry's hair.

“I don’t wanna go. Wanna stay right here with you. All day.”

And he almost said yes because that voice, slow like echoing thunder and raspy from just waking up, but Harry had already missed enough school.

“Haz you’ve already missed enough school.”

But Harry didn’t even hear him because he was still stuck on the nickname attached to the beginning of that sentence. He just really liked all these nicknames. 

He really liked a lot of things at the moment. And it wasn’t the way he usually liked things. Because usually he tried to make himself like things, he tried to tell himself he was happy, even though there was no way he could really be. 

How could he be happy being yelled at by his drunk father when instead he could be wrapped in the strong arms of a boy he very much liked. How could he be happy sleeping on a dirty old mattress when he could be in this bed that felt like a cloud. How could he be happy being alone when now he knew what it felt like to have someone.

To think a simple nickname changed his entire outlook on life would be absurd.

A simple nickname changed his entire outlook on life.

He had told himself for so long that he was content with the way his life was that he hadn’t even tried to change anything. There hadn’t seemed to be any point, but now, now that he had this boy giving him nicknames and kissing his fingertips and being so very much alive next to him that the point was clearer than ever. Louis was the point. 

And it didn’t matter if they ended up being together another two weeks or two years or the rest of their lives, because he would always be the one that saved him. He would always be the hero. That much he knew.

“You’re the point Lou.”

Harry closed his eyes and gave Louis a little squeeze from where he already had his arms wrapped around him.

“Am I now?”

Louis asked, looking down on the head of dark curls beneath him, even though he wasn’t completely sure what the boy was talking about.

Harry just nodded, smiling into the fabric of Louis' shirt.

“Well in that case you should listen when I say we have to go to school.”

Harry couldn’t argue with that logic. 

“If you say so.”

Harry groaned, releasing Louis and pushing himself into a sitting position so he could stretch.

They got ready for school in silence. Silence filled with lots of little brushes of arms and pecks on the lips and smiles. Boy were there a lot of smiles. Happy smiles where Harry's entire face hurt and sneaky smiles when Louis caught him peeking when he changed his shirt and laughing smiles when Harry almost tripped and Louis caught him. Harry never knew there were so many kinds of smiles, nor that he was fully capable of making all of them.

Louis let him borrow some of his clothes, which made Harry dizzy at first because all he could smell was _Louis Louis Louis_ everywhere. They ate breakfast after that, Louis' parents greeting Harry like it was completely normal for him to be there, giving them both hugs before they headed off to school.

Louis didn’t object like he usually did. He might've even hugged them tighter than ever before.

When they pulled into the parking lot Harry had the overwhelming urge to pull Louis into a kiss, so he did, his hand finding Louis' waist and tugging him closer. Their lips met softly, eyes falling shut along with everything else in the world. There was no school or classmates or homework, just warm lips and suddenly a tongue finding its way into Harry's mouth. It licked it's way in, Harry's breathing speeding up and face flushing. He reciprocated the gesture, Louis moaning almost inaudibly, but in the now silent car it was heard loud and clear. 

“Like that did you?”

Harry's mouth was still pressed to Louis' and his teeth dared to nip down gently on the boy's bottom lip.

“Fuck Harry. Seriously.”

Louis' hand reached up and gripped the back of Harry's neck just a little too hard but he could care less. Instead his tongue was darting out to lick over where he had just bit down, before pushing its way back into Louis' mouth much rougher this time. 

“I'm gonna take that as a yes.”

Harry was now giggling hysterically mid kiss and Louis thought he was probably the only person in the world that could be talking dirty one second and acting like a child the next. He'd be lying if he said it wasn’t one of the reasons he liked the boy so much.

“Yes. Yes, very much so yes. Can we just like pause this until after school when we're maybe like alone?”

Louis said, pulling back and trying to collect himself before he had to be amongst hundreds of people.

And Harry was living now, and living meant sometimes doing things that scare you, things you’ve never done before. So why the hell not.

“Yeah. Definitely yeah.”

He said, opening his door and getting out before he could change his mind.

Louis was at his side just as quickly, whispering in his ear.

“Care if I hold your hand like a proper boyfriend?”

If Harry was doing this he might as well go all out. Plus the idea didn’t sound all that bad, being that he had been thinking what it would be like just seconds before.

So instead of responding he laced his fingers in Louis' tightly and pulled him forward. They got about fifteen feet before someone decided to make a comment. There was always going to be someone making a comment.

“Harry since when were you a faggot?”

The voice cut through the crowd of students like a knife, before the boy Louis remembered from lunch, Niall, came walking forward.

Louis wasn’t particularly used to being insulted for his choice of who to date, because everyone at his school at been more than accepting. They had known from the beginning of course, Louis and his big mouth, so it never was really something out of the ordinary. He liked boys, so what. Everyone still invited him to parties and laughed at his jokes and tried to set him up with their brothers. It was never a big deal, never anything to point out. Which was why he was now in sort of a trance, staring at the ground not really sure how to respond.

Harry was going to just keep walking, he really was. That was something he knew how to do. But then.

“I should've known that one was from the beginning. I mean, just look at him, but you Harry. Would’ve never guessed.”

Niall jabbed a finger out pointing at Louis. And that was the beginning of the end really.

“What's that supposed to mean Niall?”

Harry spoke out to everyone, including Louis', surprise.

“You know what it means, you’ve seen him. The way he talks, walks, everything really. Would’ve never ate lunch with him if I would’ve seen it sooner. You people are disgusting.”

Louis peeked up for just a second and the disgust on Niall's face was enough to make him cry. What did his sexuality have anything to do with who he was as a person?

“Disgusting? Really? Care to explain that one because I'm a little confused.”

Having Harry next to him, squeezing his hand reassuringly and fighting not only his own battle, but Louis' as well was also enough to make him cry. But for different reasons of course.

“You’re full of diseases and shit. It's just not right.”

Niall stuttered a little, not expecting an argument, especially with someone like Harry.

“Yeah, it's not right. It's not right that this boy makes me happier than I've ever been in my entire life. It's not right he makes me laugh and smile and kisses me. Cause he's a boy? What kind of sense does that make? We're fucking happy. Happier than you probably.”

He's shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm but the adrenaline is pumping through him and he needs more. He needs to scream or punch something or go crash a car, but he's not really the type of person to do any of those things. So as Niall stands there looking dumbstruck, Harry pulls Louis as close to his side as he can, bending down so his lips are just barely grazing the shell of his ear and whispers just loud enough for only Louis to hear.

“You are the fucking greatest person I've ever met in my life.”

And then his arm is wrapped around the boy's tiny waist, pulling him away from the small crowd that had formed.

The rest of the day plays out like every other day. Minus a few more stares and a lot more whispering. But then it's over and none of it matters.

“I was thinking about taking you to the cinema tonight.”

Louis says sheepishly as they’re driving home. Well to Louis' home, but there will be time to figure out all the technicalities later.

“Like an actual date?”

Harry is sitting there in the passenger seat grinning like an idiot.

“Yes an actual date you idiot. I've took you on dates before.”

But that was before they were actually together. Before Harry considered them dates.

“But I wasn’t sure if those were dates or not, so they don’t count.”

Harry announced cheerfully.

“So what you’re getting at is that this will be our first official date?”

Louis could work with that. It actually wasn’t a bad idea. 

“Only if you want it to be.”

At that point Harry was unbuckling his seat belt and leaning across the center console to kiss Louis' cheek. He worried momentarily if they crashed about Harry getting flung out the front windshield so he unbuckled his seat belt without even thinking. At least if they died they would be together. Louis wasn’t even sure when he started being all romantic, he'd never even read Romeo and Juliet, only seen the movie. And after it was over he'd gone on and on for a full two days about how stupid they were and no one was important enough to die for. If only he would’ve known back then. 

They didn’t get into any accidents but now Louis understood why two young people killed themselves only to not be without the other.

When they got back Harry decided to take a shower while Louis looked up movies they could go see, picking one about a serial killer just so they could pretend to be scared and cuddle. He refused to tell Harry because “it will ruin the surprise” which only prompted him to beg more, and by the time they got to the cinema Harry had said please so many times it was ringing in Louis' ears. 

Louis clung to Harry the entire way inside like he didn’t know how to stand by himself anymore and Harry laughed too loud in the packed building. They got looks, some curious, some like Niall's but they were so wrapped up in each other that they didn’t notice. 

It wasn’t until they were seated, waiting for the movie to start, that Harry brought it up.

“You’re not embarrassed are you?”

He asked quietly in the room full of people. It was more wondering than anything else, not so much worrying.

“Why in the world would I be embarrassed Harry?”

Louis was looking at him like he had no clue what he was talking about.

“I don’t know, being here, with me. I'm used to being talked about, it's nothing new. I—I just don’t want to be the reason people talk about you.”

He would let people call him names everyday for the rest of his life if it meant he could be with Harry.

“If people are going to talk about me because I'm with you, let them. Because it's a small price to pay.”

“Really?”

Harry asked, smile forming on the corners of his lips.

“Really.”

The movie started shortly after that and Louis thought Harry would be the one that needed someone to hold but it turned out to be quite the opposite.

“Lou it's just a movie.”

Harry was petting a very jumpy Louis' hands, as the boy clung to his arm like a baby sloth.

“Wasn’t expecting it to be this—“

The serial killer appeared on screen, approaching an unsuspecting girl from behind as the lights flickered on and off. Louis was cut off by his own scream. Harry had to hold in a laugh. 

“Shh it's okay.”

But Harry was giggling with every word.

“Not funny Harry. This is serious stuff.”

Very serious stuff because by the end of the movie Louis might have shed a few tears and he was almost in Harry's lap. 

The entire ride home involved Harry teasing Louis about how scared he had been, while Louis contemplated how he was going to get him back.

They were trying to sneak quietly through the dark house when Harry landed the final blow and Louis came up with a plan.

“You cried Louis. Like an actual tear.”

Harry stuttered out through his muffled laughter, in fact he was so distracted he stumbled at the foot of the stairs and came crashing to the ground.

“Shit Harry are you okay?”

Louis was kneeling down trying to find him in the blackness.

Instead of answering he was suddenly scrambling up the rest of the stairs on all fours. 

Oh the things Louis was going to do when he caught that boy.

By the time he got to his room Harry was no where to be found, until he got through the doorway and the boy jumped out from the darkness and and grabbed onto him. 

“Did I scare you Louis?”

He was jumping up and down while still attached to the boy, giddy with excitement.

Instead of answering he grabbed both of Harry's wrists and pushed him back until he was pinned against the wall, his body colliding with a small thump. Louis held him there for a few seconds, their bodies pressed flush together, and let his eyes adjust to his surroundings. 

“I'm going to get you back for that.”

And Louis was so close Harry could feel his breath with every word. The proximity sent little waves of electricity through his body, heat spiraling down from his lips to his fingertips and then to well—other things.

Before he could open his mouth Louis was closing any remaining distance between them, kissing him like he'd never kissed him before. He couldn’t help the way his hands found Harry's hips, slotting his thigh in between Harry's legs, which earned an escaped moan from Harry.

“You okay with this?”

Louis asked, because no matter how much he was enjoying this, he didn’t want Harry to be uncomfortable.

“Yes. Fuck yes.”

Louis crashed their lips back together at that and spun Harry around, backing him towards the bed. 

“Are you sure, because like I want you to be okay with this.”

“You already said that.”

And Harry's head was spinning and he wasn’t sure what he was doing or saying anymore. All that was going through his head was a constant string of Louis and Louis' lips and Louis' now hard cock pressed against his leg. If it had been anyone else he would’ve already made an excuse to leave. Actually he wouldn’t even have been here in the first place. But it was Louis and Louis was safe. Louis was his.

Then they were on the bed and his Louis was on top of him, pressing bruising kisses into his neck and jawline. His hand had made it's way down to the hem of Harry's sweatpants (or technically his sweatpants) and hovered there, unsure of what to do next because fuck, this wasn’t some random boy. This was Harry, his Harry, and he had to make this everything it should be.

“I'm gonna make this good for you.”

He said, taking a moment to find Harry's eyes and study them for anything that said _I don’t want this._

Luckily they said the opposite, pupils already blown wide, any remaining green just a thin band.

That was all he needed, slipping his hand under the waistband of both the sweatpants and boxers and finding exactly what he wanted. He wasn’t surprised that Harry was already hard but he was surprised by his size, bigger than anyone else he had been with for sure. Harry bucked up instinctively at the contact, surprising himself, but Louis just stroked up and down his length once hoping that would be enough to say it was okay. 

“Can I take these off?”

Louis asked, trying to kiss Harry's lips but missing and ending up getting his nose instead. In any other situation he would’ve turned red from embarrassment and ruled the whole event a failure, but not tonight. Because when Harry let out a nervous laugh Louis knew it had done some good, releasing even just a tiny bit of tension from the boy.

“Yeah.”

Harry barely breathed out, to which Louis responded by doing just what he had asked to do.

Once he had Harry how he wanted him he considered getting the lube from one of his drawers, just to make things easier, but decided against it. He didn’t want to look like he had been planning this after all. So instead he spit on his hand, wrapping it around Harry again, and moved up and down cautiously. And not only for Harry's sake.

Because Louis remembered one of his sexual experiences clearer than the rest. He had been giving a hand job to some kid (once again whose name he cant even remember) in his car and at about the halfway mark the kid busted out laughing. He asked Louis if he even knew what he was doing and pulled his pants up and just left. Like how bad do you have to give a hand job for someone to just leave? So if he was just a little bit nervous that was understandable.

Harry seemed to be okay with Louis' technique (if you could even call it a technique) and was now grabbing for Louis' hair to pull him closer.

“Want you to kiss me.”

And if Harry's absolutely wrecked voice was any indicator of his skills he'd say he was doing pretty damn good, or at least Harry thought so. Which was really all that mattered.

Kissing Harry proved to be quite the distraction, and when he got his mind away from the constant worries he actually felt pretty confident. He even worked up the courage to get a second hand down there and graze his fingers over Harry's balls experimentally.

It wasn’t long before Louis noticed the sweaty curls sticking to Harry's forehead, his raw lips, and the achingly hard dick that was in his hand. He had done this to the boy, he was the sole cause of this beautiful thing happening before his very eyes, and he wanted to be able to do this for the rest of his life.

“I think I really want to do this forever.”

Louis blurted out.

“Give me hand jobs?”

Harry asked, confusion clear on his face.

“No, be with you.”

And well that wasn’t really supposed to come out.

The moment was interrupted by Harry coming into Louis' hand, moaning out his name even though the boy's family was asleep just down the hall.

The moment was far from forgotten though.

Because after Louis had cleaned Harry up, not even worrying about his own needs, and curled into the boy beneath the blankets it was brought back up.

“So you wanna be with me forever huh?”

Harry asked into Louis chest, sleep threatening to overtake him any moment.

“Yeah I guess I do.”

Louis replied, pulling the boy closer and running his fingers up and down the smooth skin on his arm.

“Forever's a really long time Lou.”

His eyes were closed now, breathing evening out.

“I'm well aware Haz.”

And as they fell asleep all both boys could think about was how forever was just the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long but the last couple days have been kind of crazy. My neighbor is currently riding around on his fourwheeler with a rifle strapped to his back because my father has threatened to have people come teach my mom a lesson. My mom who has done everything for her children single handily, while my drug addict alcoholic father lives his life without ever wanting to see us. Okay...but anyways, I'm sorry if this sucked. I should be back to normal in a few days when all of this hopefully dies down. As always I love hearing what you guys think!! :)


	16. (Days) Always tip your waitress

Harry ended up staying at Louis' house for 267 days , but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

 The first few went by the fastest, with lots of questions and serious talks and rules on top of rules on top of rules. Okay maybe not so many rules, but still.

 The two boys had woken up Thursday morning and stumbled downstairs for breakfast just like the morning before, to be greeted by the entire family that had already gathered at the table.

 “Wow eating breakfast with us two days in a row. Where did Louis go?”

 Lottie smirked sarcastically while taking a huge bite of her cereal.

 “I'm not sure where he went but it wasn’t such a great place so he decided to come back,” Louis said, glancing at the head of curls next to him and smiling to himself, or at least he thought it was too himself.

  _I came back because of him, because he made me finally realize what I'd been missing out on._

 “I'm glad you’re back Louis.” Phoebe piped in, followed quickly by Daisy.

 “Me too. And Harry because he let us do his hair and has holes in his cheeks and Louis smiles at him a whole lot.”

 Both girls burst into a fit of giggles.

 “He's doing it right now!”

 Phoebe burst out, pointing her tiny finger across the table right at the boys and bouncing in her chair. Harry turned to Louis at that point, noticed the girls were spot on, and felt the heat creeping into his face.

 “Am not!”

 Even though he knew he was. Even though he still was, at that exact second, because he no matter how much he tried to stop he couldn’t. Currently he was trying to think about being abducted by aliens and having a huge rock crush his arm and little spiders crawling in his ears but everything always came back to curls and green eyes. Always. Which meant he was always smiling.

 “You kind of are honey. Doesn’t have anything to do with Harry spending the night again does it?”

 That time it was his mom, and of course she would be the one to bring it up, grinning so big Louis was worried for her health.

 “About that,” Louis started, “is it okay if he stays here for awhile?”

  _Or you know, forever._

 I guess it wasn’t what his parents were expecting, the two looking at each other as if silently asking “What do we do?”

 But then Fizzy threw a piece of toast at Daisy because she kept trying to steal her orange juice and by the time everything calmed down they had to leave for school.

 “We'll talk about it tonight boys, but in the meantime I hope you have a good day at school.”

 Mrs. Tomlinson said, giving them each a hug.

 Harry liked all these hugs.

 “Thanks mom, love you.”

 Louis whispered into her ear before grabbing Harry's hand and heading out to his car.

 If only he could've seen the smile that stayed permanently on her face for the rest of the day. In fact that probably had a lot to do with what happened later that night. He had softened her up without even trying. Because since the very first time he had brought Harry over she could see the way he looked at the boy, and she'd never seen her son look at anyone that way before. Then when his attitude started to change, seemingly out of the blue, she realized it wasn’t out of the blue at all. It had started when he met Harry, all the hugs and the willingness to talk and laugh and smile again. As the day went on, the more she thought about it, the better the idea started to seem. She didn’t exactly understand why Harry had inspired such a change, heck she didn’t even know why he needed to stay there, but if he brought the son she used to know back how could she say no.

 The day flew by, classes and lunch and more classes. Louis and Harry and Harry and Louis. They drove home and kissed in the driveway, Harry's back pressed against the car and Louis' chest pressed against Harry. Then a school bus pulled up to drop the girls off, causing them to jump apart, laughing until they were practically laying on the ground when Daisy asked “Were you guys kissing? Because Molly from my class said that's how you get cooties. And those things will kill you.”

 They told her only girls can get cooties and proceeded to chase her into the house trying to plaster kisses on her cheeks.

 “Louieee stop it! I'm going to pee my pants!”

 She screamed from where he had her pinned on the floor, tickling her sides and making her flail around like a caterpillar stuck on its back.

 “You better not!”

 He giggled, going in from another kiss.

 Then Phoebe was clinging to his back and laughing in his ear and telling him he better let her sister go _or else._

 Harry, Lottie, and Fizzy were standing in the doorway watching the entire scene unfold like it was a movie. In some ways it kind of was. Louis was like the main character that had made some mistakes and done a lot of people wrong. Then a life changing experience (or person in this case) comes along and makes them realize that they need to change, followed by lots of happy, cliche scenes of making up for lost time with feel good music playing in the background. The only thing the were really missing was the music.

 “I've really missed this.”

 Fizzy said, more to herself than anyone, because it had been far too long since she'd seen this side of her brother.

 “I was going to hit him if he was ignorant to any of us one more time. Lucky for him, you came along Harry.”

 And Lottie had tears in her eyes but Harry wasn’t sure why.

 “What do you mean?”

 The boy asked, confusion evident, and Lottie answered.

 “To put it nicely he's been kind of a dick lately, well until he met you of course.”

 Well that explained a lot. The more he thought about it, the more he realized what they were implying, which made his heart stop. And okay maybe it didn’t stop but it did skip a few beats, because shit, that's kind of a big deal to change someone like that.

 “Me?”

 He asked, just to double check.

 “Yes you. You’re kind of a miracle worker if you hadn’t noticed.”

 It was Fizzy speaking this time, spreading her arms out as if what he was witnessing was proof.

 “Harry get that little butt over here and help me!”

 Louis now had both Daisy and Phoebe in his arms, the girls squirming like hamsters when they don’t want to be held (because when _do_ hamsters want to be held). Harry gave Lottie and Fizzy a _sorry but I've got to go help my far too cute boyfriend tickle your sisters_ look and rushed over to the group on the floor.

 “Backup's here.”

 He said, sliding down, and grabbing the girls from Louis' arms.

 Louis gave them over willingly, thinking the boy was helping him, until a few moments later when he realized he was pinned to the floor by him instead.

 “Tickle away!”

 Harry shouted and suddenly not only were the twins participating, but Lottie and Fizzy decided to get in on the action, all four tickling their brother while he mercilessly tried to escape.

 Eventually they decided to let him up and spent the next couple of hours scattered around the living room, talking about everything and nothing with the tv playing forgotten in the background.

 Before they knew it they were back at the table, eating dinner this time, and Harry didn’t want it to ever end. He knew that Louis was working on some scheme to get his parents to let him stay but he doubted it would work. People don’t just let random boys they barely know move in, especially when they are in a relationship with their son.

 Apparently he was wrong.

 “So if you don’t mind me asking Harry, why do you need to stay here?”

 Louis' dad asked sincerely, scooping up a spoonful of soup and bring it to his lips.

 “Well my father wasn’t too happy when he found out about me having a boyfriend.”

 Harry tried to put it nicely which inspired some sort of rage to work its way up in Louis. That man beat his boyfriend. His perfect and innocent and endearing boyfriend that was quite possibly the last person in the world to deserve something like that.

 “He's not going back there. Harry show them what he did.”

 Louis really wasn’t trying to embarrass him, he just wanted to help, and showing his parents the bruises would help.

 So he took Harry's sleeve and pulled it up to reveal the slightly faded marks etched across his skin. Harry ducked his head, not sure what kind of reaction to expect, but he didn’t shy away from his boyfriend's touch. Instead he pushed into it and Louis' arms found their way around him, pulling him in.

 “You’re so strong Harry, you know that?”

 He whispered into his ear so only he could hear. Harry nodded into his shoulder and left a smile there that only Louis could feel.

 “Oh sweetheart are you okay? Is there anyone we can call? Your mom, grandparents?”

 Harry lifted his head to see a very worried Mrs. Tomlinson rushing over to him.

 “I'm fine—honestly. It's just me and my father. My mom left when I was little.”

 It was incredible how easily he could talk to these people. These wonderful people.

 “Harry dear we really need to call the police if your father is hurting you like this.”

 She was fusing over his arm while Louis looked like he just wanted to carry him to their room (oh god he was considering it _their_ room) and cuddle him until everything was all better.

 “No—no I just don’t really want to go back.”

 Because he didn’t. At all. Well maybe to get his quilt but that could wait.

 “Oh we wont send you back, you can stay here as long as you need to. Right honey?”

 “Of course, of course. I'm sure Louis wont mind sharing his room since we don’t have a spare bedroom.”

 Louis never realized how much he loved his dad.

 “And the couch is awfully uncomfortable. We cant have you uncomfortable.”

 His mom added. They really were top of the line parents.

 After a lot of thank yous and even more hugs they all piled into the living room to watch a movie. Lottie and her parents took the couch, and Fizzy, Phoebe, Daisy, Louis, and Harry snuggled on their makeshift blanket bed on the floor, where the boys fell asleep separated by three girls but ended up closer than ever.

 The next day after school everyone had to sit down for the obligatory awkward parent speech (minus the girls of course). They should've known it was coming.

 Mr. Tomlinson went on and on about how he was their age once and understands that they have certain needs, but this is his house and there will be none of that in it. If he stopped them in the hallway later that night and told them just make sure they don’t get caught, they wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but they did laugh for a good five minutes once the door was closed.

 “You're dad basically just gave us permission to have sex in his house.”

 Harry had been laughing so hard he couldn’t breath.

 “Shit I know! I wasn’t expecting that.”

 Louis was inching closer to him with a look on his face that said he was up to something.

 “Lou?”

 “Yes Harry?”

 “Can I—um do you care if I—“

 Harry was picking at the corner of the blanket but he could feel Louis, who was now right next to him.

 “Do I care if you what?”

 “Fuck—can I blow you?”

 And holy fucking shit there was no way.

 The first thing Louis wanted to say was “Yes god please fucking yes” but once again this wasn’t just any boy.

 “You don’t have to do this to make up for the other night if that's what you’re thinking.”

 He said, brushing a few stray curls behind the boy's ear and pressing his lips softly to his.

 “I just like—I've just been thinking about it a lot lately.”

 Harry mumbled out the rushed sentence onto Louis' lips.

 “You’ve been thinking about it?”

 Imaging Harry laying in bed thinking about giving him a blow job caused him to get hard in what was probably record time.

 “Yeah well mostly at night or in the shower.”

 Was he trying to make him explode without even touching him? Louis decided the answer to that was a yes. Because imaging his little baby Harry touching himself in the shower, all soapy and wet with Louis on his mind, was too much to handle.

 “Shit Harry. Do you understand what you’re doing to me right now?”

 It was funny because Harry understood exactly what he was doing. At first maybe not, but by the time he got to the shower comment he felt quite pleased with himself. He was even more pleased when he managed to get Louis out of his pants and boxers all by himself. Louis seemed pleased to, to say the least.

 “Can you maybe walk me through it?”

 Harry asked, realizing he had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

 “Yeah um just put your mouth on it?”

 “Why are you saying it like it's a question Lou?”

 “I've never had to like explain it before. I don’t know—nothing you do is gonna be bad so just go for it. I swear.” 

At this point he just needed that mouth on his cock. It was not a want. It was a need.

 So Harry scooted down and brought his lips to the tip, where he paused for just an instant, looking up through his eyelashes at Louis.

 It was a miracle he didn’t come just from that alone. Because it was like Harry was made for this with his plump lips and wide eyes and those dimples that were just fuck fuck fuck.

 Gently Harry took him in, exploring with his tongue as he went. When he felt comfortable enough to pick up a rhythm Louis' hands found his hair and wove their way in. He helped him along like that, keeping him steady and letting him know what he liked with little tugs. Harry seemed to like his hair played with, letting out occasional sighs and even a tiny moan when Louis' cock somehow managed to hit the back of his throat causing the boy to jerk and pull just a little too hard.

 Louis wasn’t sure how long he lasted but it wasn’t long.

 “Gonna come.”

 He whimpered and Harry didn’t respond.

 Then he was, holding onto Harry's hair like it was a lifeline, and crying out his name maybe just a little too loudly. Harry swallowed ever bit, licking his lips after he pulled off and looking Louis straight in the eyes as he did it.

 “So I'm definitely gay.”

 Harry said like the smug little bastard he was turning into. But Louis liked it.

 “That would’ve been an awkward situation if you weren’t. And you’re like a natural, so a lot of talent would've gone to waste.”

 And well he had felt pretty confident for his first time but a natural? He didn’t even have time to wonder if Louis was telling the truth or not though, because the boy was taking off his pants and returning the favor.

 Day three was Saturday and they woke up sticky and smiling.

 "Would it be completely weird for me to ask if you want to take a shower with me?”

 They had yet to get out of bed, still tangled up in the blanket and each other, when Louis asked. A second of worry flashed across Harry's face and then it passed and he was pushing himself off the bed.

 “Maybe but let's do it anyway.”

 So they did.

 They washed each others hair and it was all Louis' fault when Harry got soap in his eyes and they turned Christmas colors from the green mixing with the red. That led to a bubble fight in which the main goal was payback, although they both almost slipped and fell about eight hundred times before they managed to get themselves clean.

 It was insane to think about just how much his life had changed, because a few months ago he would’ve never guessed this was where he would be. Taking a shower with his boyfriend, in his boyfriend's parents house, with “permission” from his boyfriend's dad. 

 After wrapping each other in big fluffy towels, they brushed their teeth squeezed in together at the tiny sink, where Louis started pulling funny faces with toothpaste dripping down his chin. Harry ended up laughing so hard he spit some of his toothpaste out where it splattered across the mirror.

 “I'm never gonna clean that off.”

 Louis declared after he had rinsed his mouth out.

 “S'just toothpaste Lou.”

 “But it's _your_ toothpaste.”

 He finished, because he wanted to take everything _Harry_ and preserve it so he would never forget the boy. Even if they spent the rest of their lives together (spoiler alert: they do) he wanted to be able to look back and remember mornings like this, morning that he felt on top of the world because he made a boy he thought he'd never even see smile, laugh and spit toothpaste all over his mirror.

 Harry didn’t even get a chance to respond because Louis was kissing him, wrapping his arms around that long bare torso,  hands resting in the small of his back. Harry wrapped his around Louis' shoulders and pulled him as close as he possibly could, smiling wide because they were still warm from the shower and their mouths tasted all minty and he very much wanted to do this every morning for the rest of his life (spoiler alert: he does).

 “Let's go out for breakfast today.”

 Louis said, breaking away and pulling Harry back to their room.

 They got dressed and Harry was getting just the slightest bit used to always smelling Louis, but it still made his head spin sometimes.

 Before they left Mrs. Tomlinson snuck her credit card into Louis' hand and whispered something only the boy heard. Whatever it was made him smile the entire ride and his eyes glisten like he was planning something mischievous. After about ten minutes he pulled into a little diner and led Harry inside by his hand.

 “How long have you boys been together?”

 Their waitress asked as she led them to their booth. She was an older woman, brown hair just starting to show its first signs of gray, and she couldn’t stop smiling. Their happiness must've been contagious.

 “A week and one day, but I've liked him since the day I met him.”

 Louis announced, squeezing Harry's hand and winking at him. Because it was the truth and there was no reason everyone in the world shouldn’t know. Since the moment he had first saw Harry in that classroom, all worried glances and stuttering sentences, something had told him this one was different. And maybe he hadn’t completely grasped it until now but that didn’t change anything. If anything it only solidified the fact that he was not going to screw this up because if Harry felt anything close to the way he felt about him there was too much to lose.

 “You don’t find that too often anymore these days, especially in young people such as yourself. Half of the time they come in here and end up kissing more than eating and a week later they host a public break up over dinner and storm out. But it's refreshing, you two.”

 She got them settled at their booth and went to get their drinks, water for Louis and orange juice for Harry, before taking their orders.

 “Do you need me to do it Haz?”

 Louis asked, playing footsie under the table with the boy. It was impossible to stop touching him and he wondered if that was something he would ever get over. Probably not.

 “I think I've got it this time.”

 He answered, flipping open his menu and studying it with the cutest look of concentration on his face.

 They ended up ordering the same thing, pancakes and sausage with extra syrup, which left them with sticky fingers and little grease marks dribbled on their shirts. That didn’t stop them from holding hands back to the car, their waitress waving goodbye and wishing them good luck, after sneaking them a few cookies for the trip. Louis had made sure to tip her extra.

 Louis took Harry to a nearby mall where he announced they were going clothes shopping courtesy of his mom.

 “It's not that I don’t love you in my clothes, but you deserve some of your own. Apparently my mom does too because she gave me her credit card and told me to spoil you. I think she likes you more than me actually.”

 They were sifting through racks of various shirts and hoodies and jackets.

 “She does not.”

 Harry giggled, pulling a shirt off and holding it up for Louis to inspect.

 “Does too. I like it, that's a keeper.”

 The rest of the day carried on that way, sometimes Harry finding something and asking what Louis thought, other times Louis bringing him things to try on.

 By the time they got home they had spent more than enough money and had enough clothes to supply maybe the entire male population of their psychology class.

 Louis made Harry model it all for him while he sat on the bed, legs crossed and phone snapping pictures every five seconds.

 “Louis do you really need that many pictures!”

 Harry whined, only in boxers at this point, and rather tight boxers might I add.

 “I do as a matter of fact.”

  _Snap snap snap._

 “I'm practically naked Lou.”

 Harry giggled when he heard the phone, wrapping his arms around his torso in an effort to hide himself.

 “Exactly why I need pictures.”

 Louis said, snapping a few more as the slight pink blush crept into Harry's face.

 After all was said and done they were laying in bed, Louis' phone suddenly lighting up his face.

 “I just realized we don’t have any pictures together.”

 So he pulled Harry close, their cheeks pressed together, and mumbled a countdown before the flash went off.

 It was everything he had hoped it would be, Harry's dopey smile and dimples deeper than ever next to his own smile that made the little creases come out by his eyes. They were squinting just the tiniest bit because of the flash but it was still his favorite picture on his phone and the urge to show everyone just how happy he was was overwhelming.

 “We are so cute that I have to show everyone I know.”

 Louis said, still fiddling with his phone. A minute or so later he passed it to Harry who lit up when he saw what was on the screen.

  _Finally got a picture of me and my favorite person in the world!! xx_

 Read the caption next to their picture on some website Harry had never heard of, but was sure was very popular.

 “You are. Don’t ever forget it.”

 And Louis pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead, who melted into him and closed his eyes, promising himself that he would never forget.

 Because they might've not have been together very long but they weren’t your average couple. Their waitress even said so herself.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are probably going to be 3 or 4 chapters after this and an epilogue. As always I love to hear what you guys think!! :) Enjoy and come be my friend. whywouldieverpushlouisoffthebed.tumblr.com <3


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